Friday, April 17, 2009

I wrote The Bible ...that's right ...it's mine!

Is this the weekend? I try to write certain kinds of posts on the weekend when many are not around. Most are out barbecuing and doing family stuff. I can't just say these things to everybody. Heck, Mr. & Mrs. Office is probably to busy counting their money; they don't have time to slum over here. Plus, I have a few secrets to share. I don't just give my secrets to any ol'body. Some can't handle the truth.

The Bible ...I wrote it ...it's mine!

Okay, so you have doubts but had to stop by to see what this fool was talking about. Maybe the word Bible was the catch. I probably should say something about that. Well, it's just that if someone is visiting to read scripture or throw their hands in the air and say Holly-Lu-Ya, you might want to get another sandwich ...on the plane. Yep, not that kind of party.

My mind is always racing. I think I could do a conscience stream thang blog 24/7 but I wouldn't want to bore anyone with that, but I have a couple of things on my mind that have been bugging me. I have to let them go and then get on with my thang. I 've noticed that many bloggers have huge blogrolls. I have a little something on my site and I was thinking about expanding. Well, I know this might sound funny but I wonder if other are like me. I worry about what appears on my blogroll. See, I was visiting this one dudes blog and thought I'd keep an ear to what he was saying, so I added him to my list. I awoke one morning and noticed a post titled "feminine guys" - right. I've always said I could care less what others do ...I don't mind and I don't care. But you know, I felt kind of funny with "feminine guys" rolling around on my blog *lol*.

Relationship are a funny thang. Sometimes they just don't work but there seems to be something about that other person that we wish we had back. Now I am not talking about taking them back into the fold. It's just some things about that person that we can never forget. It could be the way they always smelled good or the freshness of their breathe. Come on now, er'body don't take care of their mouth, you know what am talking about. Then there's the ex-lover that knew how to have a good time. Oh yeah, nights on the town, drinking, laughing and having a good ol'time. The stop at the greasy spoon just topped it off. But oh boy, I didn't want to go here but sometimes we wish they/I could tap it one more time ...huh. The sun rose as the clouds parted ....ooouuuweee, one mo ....a'gin.

We can't forget about Mr or Ms., got along with all your family. If it was up to some mothers, we'd still be with our ex. Our ex-lovers were hanging out with our brothers and sister more than us. How about that women or man that looked so fine. That's another type that's hard to let go. They complimented use so well. Others said you looked like a perfect couple. We didn't mind being seen with them. In fact, we liked showing them off ...that's right, this is mine.

If only for a minute or a few days, wouldn't we like to go back and say; hey baby, how ya doing, do you have any time ...a little time? I know we shouldn't go back there but relationships are funny thangs.

Did I mention the fact that I wrote the bible? How about Harry Potter, did I mention that too? See, I was looking at that mess Steve Harvey was in. I didn't know there were not copyright laws that covered book titles. Listen, I am not a thief although I've stolen a few things. Yep, been there ....and

paid a PRICE. But I am looking at this thing from a business aspect.

So, I can have a book with the same title of another and no harm - no foul? Hell, that sounds like money to me. You know I am a convicted bank robber, right? I am but that's behind me ....I paid a PRICE. But see, I was always told that if you are going to do something, then do it right. So when someone asked me why I robbed banks, the answer was simple ...that's

were the money is ...huh ...duh, case closed.

Well, I've rented some movies based solely on the titles. Stupid I know but I've done that. I've also bought books based solely on the cover. Stupid I know ...but I've done that. Now am thinking, if I splash a wizard on a book cover and called it Harry Potter, I know I can make some loot. Heck, I immediately thought about the Bible too. It is the best selling book of all time! Most don't read it. They have it sitting in their house but couldn't tell you a thang about it. And what about all those bibles in the hideaway hotels. Who reads those books while in the down stroke? Well, I did see that movie called The Reader. Wasn't that some mess. Ol'girl called it read and screw. I am not going to tell you what else she said, it's well, personal.

I am not going to leave a leaf unturned. Yep, am going to write some gay books as well, yes sir. I am thinking about borrowing a couple of those women from those stanky leg videos. I am going to pop them right on the cover of the book ....naked, groping each other. Listen, I am going to

misspell Zane's name and add a tiny disclaimer at the bottom of the book ...."Zane didn't do this". Did you peep that. I didn't say Zane didn't write this. Are you kidding me, I am going to write/play to win. As soon as Oprah champions another book I am going to write one just like it. See, that's the real trick. Since most will not have read the book, they will not even know the difference.

I hope you guys don't think I am kidding. I got my eye on the dictionary too. However, I think I can make more money with them Harlemcum romance books. That's right, Harlem Come. I can't leave my blackness behind and I want to be fair about this. Hey, if James Patterson can write about black folks I can write about white folks. That's right, Clear and Present Danger ...I wrote that. I am going to jump in with 2 feet. Some black folks only read books by black authors. I wrote a book called Paradise ....yep, Toni Morrison did too. The black renaissance books will not be able to hide. They say the best book ever written was Cane by Richard Wright ...I wrote that too. I love Langston Huges. I am sure others will like my book "The Ways of White Folk". That book will grab the militant crowd, especially if I throw in a quote from Angela Y Davis. They say poetry is dying but I am going to give it a boost with "songs of my father". That sounds like a Luther cut but it's gonna work. I don't even know if there is a book by that title. I think I'll just say it's inspired by Maya A.

I hope you guys took notes but I don't want anyone hanging on my jock. Remember, I wrote The Bible and Harry Potter too. Write your own damn book.

I know nobody read this, so I am safe. I am off to the library ...to write another book.

9 comments:

Mizrepresent said...

Carey, if i didn't know u were drinking...i would say pour another for me...man, u were all over the place. But i love it, because no matter what...you stay true to you and that's what makes this blog work. No matter what, we are gonna get another dose of Carey, a straight-no chaser of what's real in your world and in the end, we are gonna love it. Bottoms up!

Keith said...

Okay...I'm lost here-lololol..but I know you're going to break it down for me in the coming days..You have a most unique voice..One that's all yours.

Solomon said...

I think I'm feeling the beginning of this post, the part about feelin someone from our past, and if we had a chance would we do the dance with them one more time. I only have one from my past that I'd 'tap' one more time {smiles}.

after that, it is Friday night, are you consuming some type of controlled substance Carey or what. Yikes, maybe when you decompress you can give us all a clue as to the dealings of this post.

I'll be back bro.

CareyCarey said...

I told y'all my mind was on blast*lol*. Wait ...for the record, I think Miz might have slipped or misspelled a word. I've never been a drinker. Well, I've been drunk 3 times in my life ...over 25 years ago, I do not drink alcohol. And, my profession does not allow me to consume any substances other than aspirin. It would be akin to a brain surgeon with no eyes. Been there, done that but ....just had to get that out. Shame on you Miz. You got ol'solomon following your lead *smile*

See, Keith was ol'school cool. He was just shaking his head, trying not to drop his sandwich.

Let me see if I can cleanup my brain blast.

Yep, there was 3 parts to that post: relationships,blogrolls,Books.

Relationships and blogrolls were sort of thrown on the top of the post like one would do with a magazine at the checkout line. I just threw those item in the cart. In retrospect (after reading the comments *lol*) I could have paid for the magazines and left the food behind.

But see, the food was all mixed together and it needs a little sorting out.

It was a great idea when I thought about it but my brain wasn't having it.

See, Steve Harvey wrote a book and another person said he stole the book from them. It was later discovered that his title was basically the only thing that was similar to the other book. Well, since book titles can not have a copyright, I am thinking I can write a book with the same title and make a little money. The next time Oprah promotes a book, I am going to ship one with the same title with the hope that I can ride the wave of that book. Of course this plan is rife with holes but am just saying ...it's a blog *lol*

See, I thought I could start with the bible cus ...well, if you show me 10 people, I'll show you 10 different interpretations of the bible.

Of course all of this is a joke but maybe it wasn't funny *LOL*.

I am going to need a drink if I keep this up. You guys are going to start throwing rooten eges at my blog site.

Would someone please throw me a pillow and a hug. Was it that wild? ...*sigh*

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Hey - Here's a HUG and none of my pillows are worth passing on. Another story (LOL)

I get the going back to the old relationships and you actually had me daydreaming for a second about my ex, (pls don't nobody tell him)

I have two books under construction, PLEASE STILL THE TITLE and help my book Sell!

Poetry - From the Inside out
Shorty Stories - Not far from the truth

You don't even have to give me a percentage, just want to put my work out into the Universe!

PS If you need some black coffee, I've got a gift card to Dunkin Donuts casue I can't make nothing in the kitchen but cereal (LOL)

Love for a Great Weekend!

PSS Even though most didn't get this, I'm sure they'll all be back, your past post have set the foundation!

CareyCarey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CareyCarey said...

Thanks Miss Butterfly, I needed that.

Writing and speaking are soooooo different. So many things are missing from the written word: tone, pitch, breaks, pauses, length of pause, etc,

Instant feedback is also lost. If a comic told a joke he could instantly adjust his groove if he knew he was losing his audience. When the comic received a puzzled look, he would know that "something" wasn't quite right and then possibly say it again, in another way.

I am thinking about moving my thang to a sports-blog-town so I can just holler at the screen like I do when I am watching a sporting event on my television set.

See there ....I bet someone didn't take that as a joke.
Somewhere ...someone is saying "Carey, you still have to have proper sentence structure"

In a large sports arena, why do people yell from row 20,000? I wonder if it's like blogging?

Solomon said...

Free Spirit Butterfly: I'll take you up on the dunkin Donuts G.C. Cereal does get old doesn't it. And I won't tell nobody you been daydreamin bout the ex again. It'll be our little secret.

Glad to see your feelin a bit better today Carey, Which sports-blog-town you thinkin bout makin your new home? Cause movin ain't no joke!

CareyCarey said...

I don't know Solomon. Maybe catch something at Fox Sports or an ESPN hookup.

I've played a lot of baseball but I am not a stats man. Baseball guys are big on numbers. I think I can swim with the basketball nuts. Boxing is my thang.