Monday, July 12, 2010

I WROTE THAT BOOK.



Raise your right hand and repeat after me. "I will not tell Carey's secret".




Now, get ready, I have a little something to tell you.




Is this the weekend? I try to write certain kinds of posts on the weekend when people are not around. Plus, I have a few secrets to share. I don't give my secrets to any ol'body. Some can't handle the truth.

Okay, so you have doubts, but you had to stop by to see what this fool was talking about. Well, my mind is always racing. I think I could do a conscience stream blog, 24/7, but I wouldn't want to bore anyone with that mess, but I have a couple of things on my mind that have been bugging me. I have to let them go and then get on with my thang.




But first, before I tell my secret, I 've noticed that many bloggers have huge blogrolls. I have a little something on my site and I was thinking about expanding. Well, I know this might sound funny but I wonder if other are like me. I worry about what appears on my blogroll. See, I was visiting this one dudes blog and thought I'd keep an ear to what he was saying, so I added him to my list. I awoke one morning and noticed a post titled "feminine guys" - right. I've always said I could care less what others do, I don't care. But you know, I felt kind of funny with "feminine guys" rolling around on my blog.

I have to get to the core of this post, and I will, but relationships are funny thangs. Sometimes they just don't work, but there seems to be something about that other person that we wish we had back. Now I am not talking about taking them back into the fold for love ever after. It's just some things about that person that we can never forget. It could be the way they always smelled good or the freshness of their breathe. Come on now, er'body don't take care of their mouth, you know what am talking about. Then there's the ex-lover that knew how to have a good time. Oh yeah, nights on the town, drinking, laughing and having a good ol'time. The stop at the greasy spoon topped it off. In the morning, the sun rose as the clouds parted ... ooouuuweee, one mo... a'gin.


If it was up to some mothers, we'd still be with our ex. Our ex-lovers were hanging out with our family more than us, sometimes. How about that women, or man, that looked so fine. That's another type that's hard to let go. They complimented use so well. Others said we looked like a perfect couple. We didn't mind being seen with them. In fact, we liked showing them off... "this is mine"

If only for a minute or a few days, wouldn't we like to go back and say; hey baby, how ya doing, do you have any time? I know we shouldn't go back there but relationships are funny thangs.

Did I mention the fact that I wrote the bible? How about Harry Potter, did I mention that too? I didn't know there IS NOT copyright laws that covered book titles. But I am looking at this thing from a business aspect.

So, I can have a book with the same title of another book, and no harm - no foul? Hell, that sounds like money to me. But wait, I've been told that if you are going to do something, then do it right. So when someone asked me why I robbed banks, the answer was simple ...that's were the money WAS... duh, case closed.

Anyway, I've rented some movies based solely on the titles. Stupid I know but I've done that. I've also bought books based solely on the cover. Stupid I know, but I've done that. Now I'm thinking, if I splash a wizard on a book cover and called it Harry Potter, I know I can make some loot. Heck, I immediately thought about the Bible too. It is the best selling book of all time! Most don't read it. They have it sitting in their house but couldn't tell you a thang about it. And what about all those bibles in the hideaway hotels. Who reads those books while they're in the down stroke? Well, I did see that movie called The Reader. Wasn't that some mess. Ol'girl called it read and screw. I am not going to tell you what else she said, it's a secret.

I am not going to leave a leaf unturned. Yep, am going to write some gay books as well. Are you kidding me, gay folks spend money too. I am thinking about borrowing a couple of those women from those stanky leg videos. I am going to pop them right on the front cover. The nastier the better. Listen, I am going to misspell Zane's name and add a tiny disclaimer at the bottom of the book "Zane didn't do this". Did you peep that. I didn't say Zane didn't write this. Are you kidding me, I am going to play to win. As soon as Oprah champions another book I am going to write one just like it. See, that's the real trick. Since most will not have read the book, they will not even know the difference.

I hope you guys don't think I am kidding. I got my eye on the dictionary too. However, I think I can make more money with them Harlemcum romance books. That's right, Harlem Come. I can't leave my blackness behind, and I want to be fair about this. Hey, if James Patterson can write about black folks I can write about white folks. That's right, Clear and Present Danger... I wrote that too.






I am going to jump in with 2 feet. Some black folks only read books by black authors. So, I wrote a book called Paradise... yep, Toni Morrison did too. The black renaissance books will not be able to hide. They say the best book ever written was Cane by Richard Wright... I wrote that too. I love Langston Huges. I am sure others will like my book "The Ways of White Folk". That book will grab the militant crowd, especially if I throw in a quote from Angela Davis. They say poetry is dying but I am going to give it a boost with "songs of my father". That sounds like a Luther cut but it's gonna work. I don't even know if there is a book by that title. I think I'll just say it's inspired by Maya A.

I hope you guys took notes but I don't want anyone hanging on my jock. Remember, I wrote The Bible and Harry Potter too. Write your own damn book.

I know nobody read this, so I am safe. I am off to the library... to write another book.

3 comments:

A.Smith said...

"I am off to the library... to write another book..."

You crack me up Carey. You really do.

I said I was going to start doing more stream of consciousness posts, but I know no one will follow. My friends hate when I do that to them...

CareyCarey said...

Ashley, I don't know if no one will following you, I read all your stuff. Even your re-post.

You and your friends make for good reading.

That reminds me, so you're done being the friend of friend of a friend? Damn, life just ain't fair.

Btw, did you read my last book?

A.Smith said...

Depends on what your last book was, Carey. But probably so -- back when I had time for leisure reading (I say this though I have 2 books I'm in the middle of and a third I need to start, and all need to be finished in less than 4 weeks)