Friday, February 18, 2011

Mountain View, California, let me shake your hand!

Hello to Mountain View, California.  I so much appreciate you dropping by. 

Who are you? Over the last month or so, you've read many (MANY!) of my posts, so I just want to shake your hand.

Adendum:  Okay, whomever you are that comes by my humble abode, from the Mountain View area, you're killing me *smile*.  Today is July 18th 2011 and you've read so many of my post that you have me SMH and asking "who is this person and what do they find so interesting?  I mean, hey, I could use a good editor, so whatya think?  Much of my stuff is "first run"  and I was thinking about cleaning them up and putting them in some sort of book form, so I could use some help.  Come on now, talk to this po' ol'brotha. I've written about 500 posts, many of which I've taken off the blog.  So, show me yours and I'll show you mine....    pleeeeeese?!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

COMFORT!!! My Quicksand -- My Lover-- My Drudger -- Like No Other!

I 've heard it said that in order to keep something we have to give it away. At times I think I 've motivated others to reach for their higher dream. Yet, I am finding it increasing hard to motivate myself. For the most part, I don't know how to do that. I mean, there's a myriad of things I should be doing. However, I lack the inspiration to awaken my will to do anything about them. I lack the spirit to make the quantitative leap from "should do" to "must do". Even if those things are not  paramount to my overall survival, I still believe they 're an essential elements to my quality of life. Unfortunately, when I envision moving on those goals, kicking them into gear, my lover becomes jealous, and consequently tricks me into believing there's no place like home - with her.

See, I think it's safe to say that for many of us, a place of comfort and a piece of mind is an illusive dream. For many it seems to be censored and ultimately censured away. It visits, yet it's quickly impeded by the shenanigans of life, some of which are fulfilling, some are necessary and many are tiring. Well, as of late, that has been my story. Comfort has kissed me, she holding me down, yet I believe she's strangling my growth, and therein lies my problem. I am unfortunately loving it. I am clinging to this comfort like a person that has kissed the sky. In my heart I know it's foolish behavior. It's a place of limited challenges and little rewards, but I can't seem to find the motivation to turn my lover into a distant lover; a lover to be visited only at the right place and at the right time.

I don't want this to appear as  a  "poor ol'Carey" story because it is not. It is the testimony of a man that cried for comfort and she arrived. This is an open letter to my new lover, telling her and asking her ....if you love me, like I love you, motivate me, set me free. I know my wish is not your command, but if you love me, as I love you .....

As I mentioned, there are many things I should be doing. I should be exercising; I am not getting younger, I am growing older. I should be cultivating my friends, giving something back, but I've lapsed into laziness and I am staying content in my own space. It's a place that doesn't require much effort and thus I receive little reward. I merely stay comfortable.

I 've often said that I am not a writer but I write, I have a blog. The term is derived from web log; a web based log or journal. Just an old journal - right? I wonder if my hesitancy to call myself a writer is a cop-out? I wonder if that's a license for me to dangle a few modifiers and  use non-logical connections between two coordinated statements or to use connections that contradict common sense. It's easier, I don't have to think about it. I don't have to be concerned with proper English. As of late, I 've grown lazy. I can place a comma anywhere I please, or give little thought to where I stick a semi-colon. My love, Miss Comfort, has given me the green light to do whatever I please. Comfort is good every once in a while, but it could be my demise.

With blase' leading the way, today I ventured to my blogspot and found a serendipitous reward. Another blogger had posted the passing of a fellow blogger named Nikki. I didn't know her but after reading all the praise of her, I visited her site. Her writing was intoxicating. She was bold and splendidly insightful. She unfolded simple issues into multilayer events. I found something when I went by her house. Read following that I copied from her blog http://iniquitous1.blogspot.com/ It blew me away.


"i've found that for me, 'safe' is dangerous.'safe' has a way of starving a life of meaning until it's left a stale skeleton emaciated from a diet of empty memories.i spent over a decade living the 'safe' life, marrying a man who lacked the significance to pose a threat to my heart, but he was the 'good brotha' everyone told me i was supposed to marry.just like i'm hearing now how i'm supposed to take this job in atlanta because it means saving money and living in relative comfort without any personal challenges because seriously, it'd be hard
for me to struggle in atlanta. i will always have a place to live, always be able to find affordable housing, and despite my complaints, will always be able to get a date.


easy.

'safe' .........i find myself at a crossroads. in the past,
when i heard folk say that, i'd be like "what in the fuck does THAT mean?!?"now i know.it is at this moment on my mortal timeline when i am paralyzed, my future forked into prongs of possibilities, my present knifed into shavings of
indecision, my past spooned into a bowl of listless existence.this moment when i realize all of the experiences prior to now were merely preparing me for the monumental decision i will soon have to make, the decision which will ultimately determine where my life moves from here" -
Nikki, February 11th 2009.

I didn't know Nikki but she gave me inspiration and motivation. Her words gave me a better understanding of how precious life is and how short it can be. If I am not moving forward, it's likely I am moving backwards. I wonder if I am a writer or a blogger or aimlessly standing still?

THE POET LAURETE and ME: Who’s That Knocking On My Door?

They say when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Okay, I can work with that. But what if you just can’t get away from someone, no matter how hard you try? I mean, there are some people in our lives that we just have to deal with, and the results of those encounters can lead to serious issues of concern.

Here we go again, another installment of Who’s That Knocking On My Door?

Who hasn’t heard of Edgar Allen Poe or Gil Scott Heron? Well, how about Shellie, the poet laureate of a small Midwestern city; have you heard about her? If not, have a seat and let me tell you a little sumtin’.

She stopped by the blog and said the following...

Hey Carey, I've been reading your blog for a while. How long? (Not long). I find it interesting and well-written. I especially liked the post that talked about you and your brothers on Christmas day and of course the post about your great great grandfather. Keep doin your thang! ~ Shellie

Uuuuummm, “How Long” ... “Not Long”? I heard a reporter ask Dr. Martin Luther King a question. He said. “Dr. King, you’ve taken on a monumental task, how long will it be before your dream comes true”? With a smile on his face, Martin Luther King replied “Not Long!”. So know I’m thinking.... “Uuuuuum, I have heard those words before, but who is this knock knock knocking on my door? So I went on a little trip to find out who and wherefore art thou, Shellie?

I had to go waaaaay back to find the scoop on this woman. Now I ain’t trying to tell all her business... BUT. I found out she was a mother at a very early age and was forced to raise her family of four; 2 twin girls and 2 older boys, in the projects. Life wasn’t easy because she was married to a man that had a serious substance abuse problem that eventually took his life.

Shellie came from a very supportive family; 2 parents, 3 brothers and a sister. Her father won the long jump at the famed Drake Relays and her mother was always by his side, hand in hand, showing the children the right way.

One day, with little money, and four crumb snatchers in tow, Shellie took a leap of blind faith. She packed up her stuff and moved to Beverly Hills... out of the projects that is. No swimming pools nor movie stars, but out of the west end.

As life went on, she became one of her city’s biggest advocates for changes. Voting rights, equal rights, the right to stand up and declare her right to share her view as a woman of color, was always the chnage she was looking for.  She’s a black woman that knows first hand how hard life can be, so she devoted much of her life to helping others come out of their storms. On many occasions she had to battle her city counsel members, and other blacks that saw easy money in the hills of pimping and pandering the disenfranchised. Yes, sometimes we can be our worst enemy.

But Shellie was not to be deterred. She went on to organize a traveling troop of women who all experienced domestic violence issues. They’re called “The Healing Waters Project”. Their mission is to advance the message that domestic violence does not have to live in the closet.

But Shellie has been working her magic for a long time. She once was looking for an outdoor activity that her children could get involved with during their school’s summer break. She didn’t have the money to send them on long vacations in the Hampton’s, and the park and recreation department in her city didn’t have programs for children in her part of  town. So she decided to build it and they would come. Boy did they come! It was a track team y’all.

No bats, no balls, and no fancy uniforms, just get on the track and run like the wind. And boy did they run. They ran in Illinois, Iowa, Indiana, Florida, Utah, Nebraska and Pennsylvania. Many ran straight to collage and one even ran in the Olympics and took home gold. Looking back on those days, I can hear Shellie’s loud roar as the tracksters went through their daily workouts.

They were on the starting line getting ready to begin their sprints.... her voice rang out “ Get ready, beat somebody, you don’t have to win, but beat somebody. If you keep doing it right, one day you will win”. Before they took off, Shellie would always yell the departing words of “HOW LONG?”. The kids would yell back “NOT LONG!”. Again, with more gusto than the first time, she’d yell “HOW LONG!”. Then, with deep determination and conviction, the pumped up young runners would yell back - one more time - at the top of their voices “NOT LONG!”, and then take off running. Oh boy, dusty little neighborhood kids who many of them, in a ironic way, were running for their life. Shellie was a pretty fast runner herself. She could frequently be seen huffing and puffing right along with the much younger legs, trying to beat somebody and not let anyone beat her. And in a serendipitous way, running to her next challenge has been Shellie’s saving grace.

I don’t know what inspires most poets, but I can’t help but believe some of their pain and struggles are whisked away, finding a place of eases and comfort, in the words of their poems. Shellie is now the HNIC poet in her city. She has scratched and clawed to find her rightful place in life, and along the way she found time to write several poems. The following is her first book of poetry. Remembering Melodies: A Thank-You Note


Remember my opening lines “there are some people in our lives that we just have to deal with, and the results of those encounters can lead to serious issues of concerns”? Well, Shellie is my cousin and my major concern is what would I do if I didn’t have her in my life? We’ve traveled many roads together and share untold memories. Her comment “ I liked the post that talked about you and your brothers on Christmas day and of course the post about your great great grandfather” speaks volumes. My grandfather is her grandfather and we lived a stone’s throw away from each other. So she saw my brothers and I on several Christmas mornings. Yes folks, Shellie has seen me up and seen me down, and I’ve seen her go round-n-round.

I was part of that track team which brought a wealth of knowledge and development to hundreds of black youth. She also got me involved in a little league program that had me, my dumb ass, up in front of the power brokers of that city, fighting for the right to run a concession stand in our own park, that another group, who didn’t even live in that neighborhood, had deceitfully taken away to sooth their greed and fatten their coffers. And you better believ, we got it back!Oh yeah, many times Shellie and I had to stand back to back, shoulder to shoulder, and say “HOW LONG?”. Many times we had to shake our heads and say, “here we go again”.

What would I do without my cousin in my life? I don’t even want to think about that.

Hip Hip Hooray for my cousin Shellie.


 And, I wonder if she every forgave me and her brother for burning her with matches.  She can never forget about that because our mischief left a 2 inch scar that she still wears today.  Some people believe it's a birth mark.  She quickly tells them that God didn't give that to her, her cousin and her brother did.

But listen, now it’s time to say goodbye to all my friends, because someone else is knocking at my door. So I am off to open it. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

Sunday, February 13, 2011

ALL PEOPLE OF COLOR REPORT TO STAGING AREAS AND LET THE SNITCHIN' BEGIN

"But boss man, I's not like the rest of those colored fellas!"

"Is that right Leon, you're black aren't you!?"

Hello my blog friends. It's nice that you've dropped by for another chat. Today I still have my foot on the neck of our "NaySay" house negro friends. You know, the ones I call 2 dollar street walkers. Actually, I just gave them that name. Generally I call them 20 dollar word using blistering babbling blabber mouths. Well, I've come to believe they get some kind of cheap orgasm by speaking ill of President Obama.

I know... I know, some people are constitutionally incapable of seeing the truth, so I've found a great analogy to show them the errs of their ways.

But first, let me make this perfectly clear who I am speaking of. I am shinning a light on those that have a propensity to drop salt on President Obama, and classify it as constructive feedback.
As I've said before (and if it was right then, it's right now) I am all for constructive feedback, but if the feedback is nothing but gripes and moans, sticks and stones, porous opinions, bitches and switches , I don't view that as constructive feedback. That's more akin to the house negro snitchin to Mr Charlie... "Massa, you's be right. That Obama fella is messing it up for me and you's"



Listen, the Goliaths and massas of the world have been using the divide and conquer technique since the beginning of time. If you don't believe me, check out the words of Monica @ http://transgriot.blogspot.com/2010/07/back-hell-up-off-naacp.html

[No Carey, you're not wrong], "There are people who see the big picture and have been paying attention to what the 'white wing' has been up to since 1964. Actually the 'white wing' has been running this game for centuries. Working class and poor whites keep allowing themselves to be bamboozled into voting against their own economic and political interests in favor of wealthier whites who will NEVER let them in their exclusive club, but play the 'white solidarity' card to the hilt"


See, the powers that be do not care if a few stupid white people get caught up in the mix, but when they work their magic (divide and conquer), the black man will be the first in line.


NOW THE ANALOGY: The movie Inception and all people of color report to the staging areas.

The movie "Inception" was predicated on the concept that we can some how, change history while being in a dream state. Although I thought the movie was a convoluted mess, there was one scene that grabbed me. It's the idea that there's no greater virus in the world than a negative thought that festers in the mind.

Now wait one minute. So, if I have told myself a lie, or believed in something that was a lie, it will grow like a plague, and thus, kill the truth and me. Damn, that's horrible, yet true.

Come on, as in the movie Inception, lets close our eyes. Lets see if we can change the future by changing the past. I'm gonna take you by a friend's house. He's actually a turtle but we are going to listen in on a conversation between him and The Wizard. There he is are over there. Over there by that Wishing Well. Hush, be quiet, we don't want them to spot us.

Wizard: Twizzle Twazzle Twizzle Trone, time for this one, to come home. How many times I tell you? Be just what you is and not what you is not. Those that do this, are the happiest lot"

The little black turtle loved to romp off on what could be called "Fool's errands". He once found himself defenseless in the face of a fire breathing dragon. All his fantasies seemed REAL sweet in the history books, but he soon found out there's nothing like the real thang.

Wizard: Come on good buddy, we're taking a trip. We are going to Black History.

Little brown Turtle: Wait, I already know about the peanut and the spook who sat by the door. I mean, last year, during Black History Month, we learned about Lorraine Hansberry and Adam Clayton Powell.

Wizard: Well my bumpy shelled little friend, Lorraine Hansberry did not write The Spook That Sat By The Door. So come along, I think you and a few other people (house negroes) need a little schooling. I think you need the real thang.

Little Turtle: Wait, I know that song, that's by Marvin Gay & Tammy Terrel... "ain't nothing like the real thang baby"

Wizard: See, that's what's wrong with some negroes. They know all there is to know about sport and play, and can sing like the birds, but are they passing down the real thang? Shut your mouth and you might learn something. Look at those happy-go-lucky negroes over there. Down there sitting at that round table. Listen at them beat up their own president. They must have forgotten where they came from.

The Wizard had seen history in it's ugliest form, so with a crisp move of his magical wand, he appeared on stage in front of the mesmerised and stunned, field negros.

Wizard: "Hear Ye, my mislead black friends. Black History should be just what it is, and not what it's not. Negroes that know the real truth, is the happiest lot."

Crowd of intellectual negros: "Get outta here you crazy white man. We are free to do as we please"

Brown Turtle: "Come on Mr Wizard, lets get out of here. They're all hyped on that board game of "Kick Obama".

Wizard: Do you remember the name Simon Wiesential? Well, he was a Nazi Hunter. They know they can't afford the luxury of ever forgetting the REAL thang. The American Negro is tranquilized. They rest with their bellies full of special holidays and passes to the good neighborhoods and good government jobs and good straight hair and freedom of speech.

Brown Turtle: Please Mr. Wizard, you're making me feel uncomfortable. Besides, slavery wasn't as bad as the Holocaust, so we should just let it go. If I was a slave...


The Wizard: Hold it right there, the Jews were some of the first slaves, and I am going to let you have your wish. I am going to take you back to the shores of Africa. I'm going to be with you. However, you will not be able to see me, but you will be able to hear me. When you have a problem, speak to me and I'll respond.

Turtle: "BUT!"


The Wizard: But nothing, lets go.

The little turtle has again made his move too soon. The wizard waved his magic stick and the turtle was off to Africa. We see him as a proud king standing over his flock. He's in the Congo. It's a hot and humid summer day. The turtle (turned king) hears a cry far off in the brush. Then, the scene changes.

Little Turtle: Mr Wizard! Mr Wizard!

The Wizard: Be quiet my son, there's nothing you can do now. You're at the bottom of a dark and dank slave ship

Little Turtle: "But where is my father?" "Where is my mother?"

Wizard: "It doesn't matter now, you will never see them again. Conserve your energy and hold on to life. How do you feel?

Little Turtle: My back is on fire and there's an awful smell around me

Wizard: "That smell is death! That man chained next to you, he died several days ago. The man laying above you is dying of dysentery. That substance on your chest, and the rest of your body, is his bowel movement. That's also the feces of several slaves in the tiers above him. Lay still. That pain in your back is your flesh being rubbed off by the movement of the ship. Please hold on. Only one third of you will make it through this middle passage. You are not half way there. STAY ALIVE!"

Turtle: "But where am I, and where am I going?"

Wizard: "You are in a place that some would call a living hell, and you are traveling to an evil land."

Hundreds of days later

Turtle: "Mr. Wizard, why have we stopped and what is that sound hitting the ship?"

Wizard: "You have arrived at your new home. It is a place called America. You are a slave. You are chattel that will soon be owned by an exploiter of black humans. Your wife is on another ship. Your sister died in the middle passage. Your brother was being lead to the top deck of his dungeon, then he jump into the sea. He could no longer bare his pain. You may never see your wife again. It's also possible that she may not want to see you. She will be degraded, humiliated, raped and brutalized by her new slave masters. The product of those brutal attacks, her children by her new master, will also be slaves to be sold, or to be used to produce more slaves. Those sounds that you hear outside the ship are the bodies of slaves that were thrown overboard several miles out to sea. They died in the final leg of the journey and their bodies have drifted inland. The Governor of the state of South Carolina is appalled at the sight of those bodies. Not because of the death of humans but because of the stench of the bodies floating in his harbor"

Suffering Little Turtle: "OH HELP ME LORD, I don't want to be a slave anymore! How many are like me? How many of my people have died"

Wizard: "You asked how many have died on this journey? MILLIONS! This has been going on for hundreds of years. The Holocaust lasted a few years. There will be a severe price to pay for your freedom, if you ever achieve it!

"Turtle: "I will run, I'd rather die trying to gain my freedom, than to live a life that's less than a dog's"

Wizard: "Run then my friend. When you get a chance,run, and may God be with you"

Several years later, the little turtle that wanted to be a slave, is seen withering in pain. He tried to escape his bondage.

Turtle: "Mr. Wizard, what is this pain!? What is happening to me"

The Wizard: "For your repeated attempts to run to freedom, you have a yoke around your neck and you have been branded with hot irons, just like cattle. You've also been castrated for your last attempt at freedom"

Other slaves are seen hanging from trees with their genitals stuffed in their mouths. Word has spread that hundreds of freed black are being burned at the stake for a protest in the State of New York. The resilience, courage and spirit of some black man can not be broken. Angola Warriors started an uprising on the coastline of South Carolina. They tried to make it to a free colony in the State of Florida. They failed, all were killed. The local slave catchers were tip off to their path by a few house negros. Facts!

The Wizard: "Twizzle Twazzle Twizzle Trone, time for this one, to come home. How many times I tell you? Be just what you is and not what you is not. Those that do this (people and turtles), are the happiest lot"

The Little Turtle and the Wizard sat down for a long conversation. The wizard explained to the turtle that some negroes believe they have arrived and thus, feel no need to pass down the real thang. They are content with their month of celebration and have forgotten their real past struggles. They'd rather dress to impress and win the big prize that goes along with knowing the latest song of their slave master... Stomp On The New Black President. It's called dry snitching. The Jewish community has places like the Simon Wiesenthal Center. They will never forget and will not allow others to merge their history into a mere month long celebration of "we have overcome". Some Black Americans are satisfied with their freedom of speech that allows them to unlace their spigot mouths in a way that stokes their egos. Some come out on Black History Month and really do their thang. And many are nothing more than meely mouth wannabe intellectuals, and mimickers of the 10 o'clock news. Some black folks believe they can change the color of their skin by bad mouthing another person of color. Yes, they are living in a dream.

The Wizard and the little brown turtle are shaken from their dream by the sound of a bull horn (as in the movie "Inception").

"All people of color report immediately to the staging areas"

The wizard: Well my little brown friend, who do you want to be now!? Your eyes may shine and your teeth may grin, but you're still a brown man, my wayward friend.


The little brown turtle (now sitting in an airplane) opened his eye as he was trying to convince a white man that he really wasn't black. Well, not like the rest of those colored folks. But, by the look on the man's face (wearing black and white baseball cap), his words were falling on deft ears.


I am not dreaming and that's my passport. Really, look at that name in the bottom left corner. I am a little older now, and I'm not going anywhere. I am going to continue to ride the friendly skies of President Obama. I've come this far by faith.


AND

And there's some black folks on my wall that needs me to show them the right way.
Inception, conception, reality.
The movie fades to black

Thursday, February 10, 2011

No Rant, Just me.



Yep, I took down the rant post and grabbed me a plate of those Baby Back Ribs. Yes sir, look at those discarded napkins. Don't tell me I wasn't getting down. I had food in my mouth and was going for another bite. My god, look at those jawls. That ain't a jaw, that's a greasy jawl. The rest of the people were wearing jackets and sweats, but I was such a gluten, I was hot.


That don't make no damn sense. And I had about 4 cans of that sweety juicy red pop. What a fool.


After all that eating I still have to be grandpa horse. I man can't even go home and rest in his PJ's. Nope, sleep over night at the old fat horse's house . I thought I raised my kids. I am getting way to old for this mule mess. Yeah, I used to buck and make all the horse sounds. But now I am just a stubborn old mule.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

IT'S RIGHT TO DO RIGHT. IS IT CHURCH, HEAVEN OR HELL?

Heaven or HELL -  OH MY!  Lions, tigers and bears - OH MY!


I call this a personal blog because I have to talk about my inner most character flaws. It keeps me rooted in all my problems. I don't ever want to forget the dreadful consequences of my wayward activities, nor accept a  mindset that tells me I have arrived.   Simply said, plain talk...  I don't ever want to hear the cry... "lets do it one more time"

Listen, I've walked with the devil. He loved me and I loved him back. Crazy I know, but it's true.

There are other things I know are true. I don't believe church should be about the preacher nor the people that go there. I've come to believe that religion is not about Heaven or Hell.  I've heard great debates concerning the "if's" and and "buts" of heaven and hell.  But personally, I believe church is a way for me to move away from my own thinking, and thus find a better way to do things right. My history tells me that when I rely solely on myself, I find myself in a world of loneliness and a world of trouble. When I read the bible, it shows me how to do things right, for all the right reasons.  I believe it's basically about being a better person. By no means have I arrived, forget about it, but I believe I'm looking in the right place.  And oh boy, I've been places that I do not wish to return to.

Listen, if I could get high right now, I would. Are you kidding me, it temporarily soothes all my ills. That's real, true, and very dangerous. If you didn't know - you don't want to know -  because the sensations of some chemicals are better than the best orgasms. That's real and very dangerous.

If you didn't know - you don't want to know - because some drugs will actually bring on an orgasm. Yes, that's the truth and very dangerous. We all know what orgasms do for us. Sometimes we say...  don't stop now.

You will not hear this from your local treatment center nor your 10 o'clock news - and -  you might not want to here this because some drugs - for men - hold back ejaculation which make some men feel like Tarzan. And, women love their Tarzans. That's the honest truth, and that's real ,and very dangerous. Who doesn't want to boogie woogie all night long?

If I could get high right now, I would. Who wouldn't want to hold back the aging process? Some drugs do that, but you didn't hear that from me (and you will not hear that from anyone else).  An elevated heart rate means the heart is working harder. Stress, worry and pain are contributing factors to an increased heart rate. Some drugs will take away that worry and stress and leave  a sense of ease and comfort. Who wants to hear that some drugs produce an euphoria like no other. Some drugs produce a semi-conscious sleep with dreams that are colorful, peaceful and long lasting. Nothing in the world can touch it, and that's real - and very dangerous.

All the above experiences, i.e,  sexual prowess,  multiple orgasms, sweet dreams, and a worry free mind, are very dangerous. Not because of the championed adverse affects, but because the body and mind loves it. Then, after a short period, the mind remembers all the above sensations, but and however, unfortunately those same sensations will never be reached again - without that same drug. No never -  not ever - NEVER! But the mind and body sits, and waits, and sits, and waits for it's lover to return. The mind never forgets. There will never be another lover, like that lover. But the mind sits, and cries and yearns and waits.

This post was inspired by one of my closest friends who heard that cry. He was in the ministry, sitting right up in the pulpit, but unfortunately his demons called him back. He just called me, and others had been whispering. We were walking this path together. For years we have been each others greatest support. Now I am left to wonder, what went wrong?  Why did the devil call him back?  And, as I said, I was walking with the devil. He loved me and I loved him back. But, what about a time called now?

If I could get high right now -  today -  I would, but I can't. I asked my friend if the drug still felt as good as it did in the old days. He said it felt even better. See, I knew that. But let me go back a couple of days.

The other day I received an e-mail from another blogger. One part of the e-mail said, "I'm gonna start getting more confrontational, but in a good way. I may be wrong from time to time, but I'm sure people will put me in my place. I want to build a more dynamic blog, like yours, boo!"

Well, I've often questioned why I -  and other people - blog? Although we seldom talk about it, I doubt there's not one of us who doesn't desire some form of admiration; it's like the wind beneath our wings.

However, I say to my friend and others, be careful what you ask for. You might just get it.  And although Prince wrote a song about it, controversy is not for everyone. I may be confrontational and I may be loud, that's because I have to be, or I might get high. More importantly, getting high would be the least of my worries.  My brain will ply me with sweet memories of days gone by. It will try to render me helpless against that first wayward walk on the wild side. So I have to say it loud and confront anything they may persuade me to forget the insanity driven consequences of taking that same path that trapped my friend.

I don't know what evil lurked in his heart, but I know the devil had me in his mouth, but I slipped away with a little help. Well, maybe it's a misnomer to say I slipped.  I fought for my life. And, for the most part, I am still fighting.  This post is a way for me to do that.  I don't ever want to forget.

Being loud, confrontational or what some would consider opinionated, will not get me a bunch of comments or hits, but it's helping me to never forget the horrors of my past. I have to tell on myself, including all my past indiscretions.  I have to keep the problem close by so that I am always working on solutions. If not, I might remember it, and I know I will hear it's cry, but I can't answer.  I can't love it anymore.

Listen, I think it's safe to say that we all have pain, turmoil and trouble. Some of us have weight problems and high blood pressure to a point that our lives are in jeopardy. Being over-weight, to any degree is never a good thang. Some of us have baby momma problems and babies daddy problems. Then there are those that have drug and alcohol problems. To ease our pain and solve our problems, some of us look to Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. Others run to marriage & family counselors for tips on how to do the right thang. Doctors, phychiatrist and treatment centers are frequently a source of temporary relief. However, to a large degree, doctors and psychiatrist are nothing more than legal dope dealers. Their one stop prescriptions that temporarily impedes the daily stress of life, may keep the boogieman away for a day or two, but woe is thee. In most cases the elephant is waiting in the morning.  And I don't know much, but I know all of them will gladly take your money.


But I am left to wonder if ignorance and fear and being too dang smart, is a road to constant suffering? 

Well I tend to believe  there's an if  faith. And there is a "though" faith. And the two  have little or nothing to do with heaven or hell. The permanent faith  -  the lasting - the powerful faith is the though faith. Now, the if faith says that if all goes well -  if life - is hopeful, prosperous and happy - if I - don’t have to go to jail, if I don’t have face the agonies and burdens of life -  if I’m - not ever called bad names because of taking a stand that I feel that I must take, if none of these things happen -  then - I’ll have faith in God. Then I’ll be all right.  That’s the if faith!


And the "though"  faith says that - though - things go wrong, though evil is temporarily triumphed, though sickness comes and the cross looms -  nevertheless -  I’m gonna believe anyway, and I’m gonna have faith anyway. Though the waters they off-roar and be troubled - though - the mountains shake, the lord of host is with us.

Religion should not be a bargaining matter. Religion is not a bargaining experience. It’s not a commercial relationship. No great experience exists in a bargaining atmosphere. Think of friendship, think of love, and think of marriage. These things are not based on if, they’re based on though. And these great experience are not based on a bargaining relationship -  not an if faith, but a though faith.

Somewhere along the way I think it's important to discover something that’s so dear, so precious to you, and so eternally worthful, that you will never give it up. You ought to discover some principles. We oughta have some great faith that grips us so much, that you will never give it up. Somehow you'll  - walk on -  and say, I know that the God that I worship is able to deliver me  -  but if not - I’m going on anyhow. In the final analysis if you do right to avoid pain and to achieve happiness and pleasure, then you may not be doing right. Ultimately you must do right because it’s right to do right. Well, at least that's my opinion.


In short, The Devil had me and I don't know why you blog.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Women are from WHERE? And men are from Where?



What's the name of that book? You know, women are from Mars and men are from Venus? Maybe it's the other way around, but anyway, I think there's something rotten in the wood shed. I've always believed both sexes are basically the same except that some body parts work a little different.
But lately I 've had to take a closer look at that because some women let some mess fall out of their mouth that I just can't believe. But wait, this new awareness was not totally brought on or limited to things women say and do - oh no. Some women and men just make me say, what the hell is really going on?!

Look, there are 2 issues on the table.
1) Steve Harvey made a lot of money on a book that talked about issues that I thought women already knew. Yeah, Steve Harvey wrote a book on love.
2) Some men view sex from the viewpoint of a kid and they never grow up.
But this post is not about Steve Harvey or his book.

Maybe I am not being fair when I say some men never grow up. But check this out. Down at Fort Dix, the military installation, it's been discovered that some men have been talking pictures of women soldiers while they bathed. As a kid I can remember opening the girls locker room door and yelling some kiddish sexual remark, but as a man, I just have a hard time understanding the excitement of talking a picture of someone that wasn't mine or of someone that didn't give me their consent to take their picture. That's a form of rape ...isn't it? See, I doubt if women get the same thrill out of secretly taking pictures of men that don't belong to them. Also, I doubt if women get the same rise out of watching 2 men doing nasty thangs to each other, as some men seem to develop while watching 2 women make love. Did you notice I said, 2 women making love? Maybe that's it. There's nothing lovely about one guy bumping nuts with another man *lol*. I'm just saying, men are different ...aren't they?

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe most women do get a thrill out of watching 2 women hug on each other???
But listen, I wonder how many dudes have had a chick come over and surprise them with a porno flick? I am sure their are women that sit down and watch porno movies but that's basically dude stuf - ain't it? Does a bunch of women sit around and watch porno DVDs together? I'd feel kind of funny if every time ol'girl stopped by she was carrying a DVD of Long Dong Dolomite. I now they have their little "personal toy parties" but that's a different thang. But check this out.

To further illustrate the difference between the sexes, it's a fact that most of the gurlee magazines are bought by men. Okay, but on the flip side, most of the naked stud rags are bought by gay men. Again, men are a little different ....aren't they. Maybe I am wrong again. Maybe more women than I would suspect buy beef cake magazine and lay them out beside their guys copies of Hustler and Penthouse??? Maybe the statistics are lying to us. I doubt it, men are from _______? and women are from _________?

Second issue: I had a friend tell me that she loves my blog but that I'd better stop flirting with the women. At first I thought she was kidding but she continued with ....I read your comments to others. Okay, I'm thinkin' she's just picking at me. But see, after further discussion, I found out that she was taking some of my comments as flirtatious overtures when they were simply meant to be compliments. I was wondering if all women some how think that men are on something when they tell a women that she smells nice or gives them any type of compliment. I tried to defend myself by telling her to insert my words into a comment directed at a man. For instance, if I said, I think you are a very gifted writer and would like to sit down with you some day and discuss a book idea , would that be flirting or just a compliment if it was directed at a man? See, I think it's a woman thang. I am now believing that women think all men are ho-ish and their compliments are nothing more than an invitation to the wild side.

Maybe women are from some far off planet and men are like the moon. Yeah, the men sit and wait for ol'girl to come around from the dark side of a far off planet. Is it possible that I know nothing about women? Or is it possible that women have the game all messed up?

IS IT REALLY BLACK HISTORY MONTH OR GOOD NEGROS MONTH?


Quick... Rabbi Marvin Hier? What, his name is not on the Who's Who of great black leaders? Well, of course not. How about Simon Wiesenthal, have you heard of him? Of course you have... I think? Rabbi Marvin Hier is the Dean and Founder of the Los Angeles based, Simon Wiesenthal Center.

But Carey, what does that have to do with Black History Month?
Well, I can show you better than I can tell you. Come on, I'm gonna take you by a friend's house. He's actually a turtle but lets listen in on a conversation between him and The Wizard. There they are over there, over there by that Wishing Well.

*Hush up, be quiet, listen*

Wizard: "Twizzle Twazzle Twizzle Trone, time for this one, to come home"

Little Wannabe Turtle: *yelling* "Help me Mr. Wizard... Mr. Wizard, MISTER WIZARD!"

Wizard: "How many times I tell you? Be just what you is and not what you is not. Those that do this, are the happiest lot"

Listen, the turtle had a propensity to ride off on journeys that could be called "Fool's errands". He once found himself defenseless in the face of a fire breathing dragon. All his fantasies sounded real sweet -in the books - they also looked real good. But he soon found out that there's nothing like the real thang.

Wizard: "Come on good buddy, we're taking a trip"

Little Tudor Turtle: "Where are we going?"

Wizard: "We are going to Black History"

Little Tudor Turtle: You mean black history month?
Wizard: Actually there's noo such thing as "black history" month, so come along.
Turtle: "Wait, I already know about the peanut and the spook who sat by the door. I mean, last years, during Black History Month, we learned about Lorraine Hansberry and Adam Clayton Powell."

Wizard: "Well my bumpy shelled little friend, Lorraine Hansberry did not write "The Spook That Sat By The Door". So come along, I think you and a few other people (Negroes) need a little schooling... I think you need the real thang.

Little Turtle: Wait, that's by Marvin Gaye & Tammy Terrel... "ain't nothing like the real thang baby"

Wizard: See, that's what's wrong with some Negroes. They know all there is to know about sport and play, and can sing like the birds, but are they passing down the real thang?

Turtle: But Mr. Wizard, what's this real thang that you keep talking about?

Wizard: Shut your mouth and you might learn something. Look at those happy-go-lucky Negroes over there. Down there, sitting at that round table.

The scene shifts to a room full of black faces. It's an auditorium filled with youth and their parents. On the stage, at a chalk board, a young black kid hurries to write a name...

He can be heard saying the letters as he meticulously forms their outline.

Black kid: "T.H.E T.U.S.K.E.G.E.E A.I.R.M.E.N."

The Crowd: "That's right!" "That's my son!" "Tell the truth Boy" "That boy is smart!"

After a series of questions, another black youth is seen standing at the chalk-board.

He begins: "W.I.L.L.I.A.M W.E.L.L.S B.R.O.W.N"

The Crowd: "SAY IT LOUD BOY!" "Oh shit, we gotta battle now" "Oh lawd, dem boys knows what they talkin' bout"

The little turtle is excited because he had never heard of many of the championed black heroes. But the Wizard had seen enough. The Wizard had seen history in all it's ugliness. Consequently, he thought those jovial Negroes, those image conscience leaders of the black race, needed a taste of the real thang. With a crisp movement of his magical wand, he appeared on stage in front of the mesmerised and stunned crowd.

Wizard: "Hear Ye, my mislead black friends. Black History Month should be just what it is and not what it's not. Negroes that know the real truth, is the happiest lot. And, btw, that's a lot"


Crowd: "Get outta here you crazy white man. We are free to do as we please"

Little Tudor Turtle: "Come on Wiz, lets get out of here, they're all hyped on that Jeopardy game of "Name That Negro". And see, I can understand their disdain because I don't know what you are trying to say, either.

Wizard: "Do you remember the name Simon Wiesential? Well, he was a Nazi Hunter. Today... TODAY, I am talking about the retched inhumanity of slavery. See, the Jewish community didn't spend their time and money on feel good board games. They didn't have time for that nonsense. They built a center that sees over 1/2 million visitor a year! It was founded to challenge visitors to confront bigotry and racism and to understand the Holocaust in both historical and contemporary context. They know they can't afford the luxury of ever forgetting the REAL thang. The American Negro is tranquilized. They rest with their bellies full of special holidays and passes to the good neighborhoods and good government jobs and good straight hair and light skin"

Little Misguided Tudor Turtle: Please Mr. Wizard, you're making me feel uncomfortable. Besides, slavery wasn't as bad as the Holocaust, so we should just let it go. If I was a slave...

The Wizard: "Hold it right there, the Jews were some of the first slaves and I am going to let you have your wish. I am going to take you back to the shores of Africa. I'm going to be with you, but you will not be able to see me, but you will be able to hear me. When you have a problem, speak to me and I'll respond"


Little Turtle: "BUT!"
The Wizard: But nothing, lets go.

The little turtle has again made his move too soon. The wizard waved his magic stick and the turtle was off to Africa. We see he's a proud king standing over his flock. He's in the Congo. It's a hot and humid summer day. He hears a cry from far off in the brush. Then the scene changes. We hear the voice of the little turtle.

Little Turtle: *yelling* "Mr Wizard!" "Mr Wizard!"

Wizard: "Be quiet my son, there's nothing you can do now. You're in the bottom of a dark and dank slave ship"

Little Turtle: "But where is my father?" "Where is my mother?"

Wizard: "It doesn't matter now, you will never see them again. Conserve your energy and hold on to life. How do you feel?"

Confused Little Turtle: "My back is on fire and there's an awful smell around me"

Wizard: "That smell is death! That man chained next to you died several days ago. The man laying above you is dying of dysentery. That substance on your chest and the rest of your body, is his bowel movement, and the feces of several slaves in the tiers above him. Lay still, that pain in your back is your flesh being rubbed off by the movement of the ship. Please hold on. Only one third of you will make it through this middle passage. You are not even half way there. STAY ALIVE!"

Turtle: "But where am I, and where am I going?"

Wizard: "you are in a place that some would call a living hell, and you are traveling to an evil land"

Hundreds of days later

Weak and dying little Turtle: "Mr. Wizard, why have we stopped and what is that sound hitting the ship?"

Wizard: "You have arrived at your new home. It is a place called America. You are a slave. You are chattel that will soon be owned by an exploiter of black humans. Your wife is on another ship. Your sister died in the middle passage. While your brother was being lead to the top deck of his dungeon, he jump into the sea. He could no longer bare his pain. You may never see your wife again. It's possible that she may not want to ever see you again, because she will be raped and brutalized by her new slave masters. The product of those brutal attacks, her children by her new master, will also be slaves to be sold, or to be used to produce more slaves. Those sounds that you hear outside of the ship, are the bodies of slaves that were thrown overboard from several miles out to sea. They died in the final leg of the journey and their bodies have drifted inland. The Governor of the state of South Carolina is appalled at the sight of those bodies. Not because of the death of humans but because of the stench of the bodies floating in his harbor"

Suffering Little Turtle: "OH HELP ME LORD, I don't want to be a slave anymore! How many are like me? How many of my people have died"

Wizard: "You asked how many have died on this journey? MILLIONS! This has been going on for hundreds of years. The Holocaust lasted a few years. There will be a severe price to pay for your freedom, if you ever achieve it!"

Turtle: "I will run, I'd rather die trying to gain my freedom, than to live a life that's less than a dog's"

Wizard: "Run then, when you get a chance, run, and may God be with you"

Several years later, the little turtle that wanted to be a slave is seen withering in pain. He tried to escape his bondage.

Turtle: "Mr. Wizard, what is this pain!? What is happening to me"

The Wizard: "You have been branded like cattle with hot irons for your repeated attempts to run to freedom"

A FEW YEARS LATER:

The little turtle is seen holding on to life. He has been castrated for his last attempt at freedom. Other slaves are seen hanging from tree with their genitals stuffed in their mouths. Word has spread that hundreds of freed black are being burned at the stake for a protest in the State of New York. However, the resilience, courage and spirit of the black man can not be broken. Angola Warriors started an uprising on the coastline of South Carolina. They tried to make it to a free colony in the State of Florida. They failed, all were killed.

Wizard: "Twizzle Twazzle Twizzle Trone, time for this one, to come home. "How many times I tell you? Be just what you is and what you is not. Those that do this (people and turtles) are the happiest lot"

The Little Turtle and the Wizard sat down for a long conversation. The wizard explained to the turtle that some Negroes believe they have arrived and thus, feel no need to pass down the real thang. They are content with their month of celebration and have forgotten their real past struggles. They's rather dress to impress and win the big prize that goes along with knowing that famous black negro. The Jewish community has places like the Simon Wiesenthal Center. The Black American has the NAACP and Black History Month.
I am suggesting that although Black History Month highlights many great accomplishments of African Americans, our true gains/rewards can be attributed to many that are left off the championed list of who's who, or at the very least, there stories are minimized to a safe a sanitized version. Truth be told, it wasn't Martin Luther King who inspired the USA to change some of it's evils, it was individuals like Malcolm X, Angela Davis and The Black Panthers. Never in the history of mankind has the oppressor relinquished it's stronghold on the oppressed without violence or the treat of it. On another note, how many blacks know the whole story of Dred Scott and Marcus Garvey? I wonder how many people know that Dred Scott was sent back to slavery, and how Marcus Garvey was stopped by being sent to prison on a bogus charge? Black History Month does not tell the whole story. It should be renamed to Uncle Sam's rendition of black history: The Edited Version - The Safe Way.

GAY LOVE IN IOWA; ONE YEAR AFTER THE STORM.


Well cruel world, CareyCarey's palms are sweating and his knees are getting weak, the marriage is but a week away.

That's right, the fire is stoked and the pot is boiling, now it's time to put a top on it. Till death do us part

But wait, vanquish any thoughts from your mind that I'm getting married. Nope, been there, done that, and it was a great time and I am now on the auction block, but today I am talking about a marriage of a different sort. Well, not really, but let me explain.


Actually, this event happened about a year ago, but now I can tell the end of the story. This is how it started.




The state of Iowa is one of a few states that has legalized gay marriages. Now, since I live in Iowa, I have a vested interest in these ongoings. I could sit back and let the world turn, or get my feet wet. Well, before I could make my move the flood moved to my doorsteps. Don't get me wrong, I am not gay, and as I said, I am not getting married but my woman's daughter is gay and she is getting married... this Week!

I've talked about this in another post... 2 months ago:



A women that I see on a regular basis, has a daughter that's a lesbian. Upon first hearing about her daughter, she was hurt. She didn't know anything about lesbians. She only knew what others said about them. Of course, much of what she heard was rooted in ignorance. She thought she had done something wrong while raising her daughter. Through a little pain, knowledge and a lot of prayer, she's now very comfortable with her daughter's lifestyle. In fact, her daughter, that once was married to a man, is soon to be married to a woman. And check this, they got my dumb ass up in the wedding. Yep, not only am I in the wedding, I'm the MC at the reception. It's a family affair.




Well, here I am 2 months later, wondering what it's all about. I mean, how am I going to handle this, and what am I going to say? Look, we've all heard a white person say "some of my best friends are black". Okay, I don't have to break that down, but we know how that affects us. Yep, those things are easy to say when Big Willie and Leon do not live in your neighborhood. When the pigeons come home to roost, it's a whole new ballgame.

Make no mistake about it, I am cool with the whole gay thang. I have no problem with who tickles who's love bone. Nope, to each his own. But see, since I have a propensity to run my mouth and love telling jokes, I have a bit of a problem. In my role as MC, I am going to play it very loose. Hey, I gotta be me. But loose lips sinks ships. Listen, I like to think of myself as a speaker and a gum shoe wordsmith, but I don't know what's politically correct in the gay world. I don't know if I should use words like Dude-ettes or Bride-gal & Guy-gal, etc. Really, I'm in quite a quandary.

For instance, I am thinking about telling a joke that involves cookies and hot dogs. I am going to say...



There are a lot of beautiful women in here tonight and I am single. But I have to be careful, because when I reach for my cookie (girlfriend's name is Cookie) I don't don't want to pull out a long hot dog. Come on yawl, you know looks can be deceiving. I mean, I like hot dogs, but I like mine with mustard and ketchup and a little onion. Wait, I might be in the wrong place to be talking about the freaky deaky hotdog? I am simply saying I don't like surprises. When I reach for my Cookie, I don't want her to start growing in all the wrong places




That's one of my softer jokes. And, I don't know if you've been to a gay "bash" but the red carpet was made for them. Quit it, they dress to impress. But see, I don't have any shame in my game, but I am worried about getting shot. Are you kidding me, just because someone is gay does not mean they don't carry pistols. In fact, I know the bridegroom has a long 38. Really, just the other day she shot a raccoon that's been jackin' with her trash. He will not raid anymore trash cans. And this coon - CareyCarey - ain't trying to be the next victim.

So please, if you are gay or have gay family members or friends, holla at a brother. I need a little help. Tell me what to do. Come on now, I know everyone that's reading this post has a gay person in their family. Heck, I can count 3 or 4 in my family, and I ain't mad at them. Why should I be?

The day is coming and the microphone will soon be in my hand. Tell me, tell me, tell me true, what should this fool really do?

And, if you don't like the whole gay marriage thing. You can tell me about that too.

AND, there are more comments/responses to this post right HERE: http://careycarey-carrymehome.blogspot.com/2011/02/you-dont-say-whats-funny-about-being.html

I had to make room so I gave them their own special post.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

YOU DON'T SAY? WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT BEING GAY?








26 looong comments to the prededing post "above". I thought I should open them up - in post fashion - to enhance your veiwing pleasure. As the title says, what's so funny?





FreeMan said...
Well the best rule of respect is to tell no jokes relating to them being gay. It's like someone going to a IR marriage and bringing up them being black and white. It's just not a good talking point. I would rather you kept it 100 and talked about the same things that anyone who will be living with each other forever will deal with. I'm not for trying to find a way to say something that could offend lightly. Just don't say it at all and talk about other things. Like you said you hate when people say they have Black friends. I think you could run the same risk when you really didn't mean it to be interpreted that way. Just talk about relationships period and advice on marriage. I'm sure they just want to be seen as normal and not any special notes on them being gay brought up. Ok that's my opinion.

CareyCarey said...
I feel you Freeman, and under normal conditions, I would run with your advice, but in this situation, their "togetherness" is not a hush-hush deal. Everyone in the wedding is gay. There's not a single man in the whole procession. So, unlike the IR's, everyone is on the same page. And, I don't know if you've been around gay affairs, but on some occasionsthey can be a wild and loses bunch. Think Kathy Griffin and some of her stand-up comedy. They love her material. I don't know if she's gay, but nevertheless, gays are human, and everyone likes to be the butt of jokes... sometimes. It goes without saying, this will not be a "normal" night.

SLC said...
Maybe there are some soft comments you can make about the facts of their situation You don't have to worry about your spouse leaving the toilet seat up. You can borrow each others clothes. When someone asks to speak to the man of the house you can look to your spouse and say, "Your turn"!Ok seriously. This may be the new normal for some people. Just make it so they don't have to edit you out of the video. Keep the jokes to a minimum to not take away from their special day. Since they asked you, they know you at least a little bit, so they shouldn't be toooooo surprised.Good luck.


jjbrock said...
Carey I've been reading your blog for a while now...So I feel comfortable saying this...Stay away from the jokes please. @SCL, I like!... "You don't have to worry about your spouse leaving the toilet seat up. "You can borrow each others clothes. "When someone asks to speak to the man of the house you can look to your spouse and say, "Your turn"!"


CareyCarey said...
I don't believe this. Two of my longest readers have drop by. I was actually thinking about you 2 when I wrote this post. Most of the opponents to gay marriages come from the religious front. I was actually going to call you 2 to the front of the stage but it worked itself out. Ms, Ann, since you and SLC have been reading my blog, you know I have a hard time with a "blog"/"artistic" voice and the voice I would use in public. So you both are probably right. I have to move away from entertaining the crowd with a "blog" voice. Plus, there will be children there and I know the children of the "groom". So even though (SLC) your jokes were pretty smooth, I now wonder how the children will feel about them. But here's a liitle secret about some gay couples. There's usually one that plays a dominant role. In this case (this couple) I know who cuts the grass and takes out the trash. Thanks for the feedback! I'm still looking for proper names. Like bride and groom or what?

CareyCarey said...
Oh Ann, as I mentioned @ your blog, I did go to the last day of our revival (tonight). You would have loved it. On the final day, all the pastors in our area conference, come together and lend their voices to close the affair(and raise money). One by one they take the stage and sing a song. Well, most of them can't hold a note :-)(some can really sing)but it's a fun night and many of them sang the older songs like "Jesus is on the main line, tell him what you want" "This little light of mine" "hold onto Gods unchanging hands" "Oh how I love Jesus"


Yep, it was a long (and hot and stuffy) evening but it was a good night.

PPR_Scribe said...
*Love* the jokes SLC suggested! Also love the idea about sticking to relationship humor. Also, if you know any funny stories about your friend's daughter from when she was younger. You might be OK working some of these jokes in by telling a story about the process you went to in order to arrive at an appropriate humor topic--kind of put the focus on yourself and your own lack of precedence. Just remember that this is their special day: More special because they have family and friends who are risking, perhaps, their own not-so-comfortable feelings to be there to share it with them.One more idea: Why don't you just ask the couple what they are comfortable with? Maybe they were looking for Kat Williams and pimp jokes and would be disappointed if you played it safe. LOL!

jjbrock said...
Carey I love a good revival.


CareyCarey said...
PPR_Scribe, I think you are on the mark. "Just remember that this is their special day: More special because they have family and friends who are risking, perhaps, their own not-so-comfortable feelings to be there to share it with them"


Yes, this whole thing has kind of split her family. Some are very uncomfortable about even coming to this affair, but they are coming. And therefore, there is a need to lighten the moment. The other woman's mother didn't even know of the marriage, or her daughters sexual preference until 1 month ago. The daughter was very hesitant to tell her mother. In fact, the mother was told by someone else. There was tears but everyone is cool now. Well, as much as they can be. You might have sometime, PPR_Scribe. "telling a story about the process you went to in order to arrive at an appropriate humor topic--kind of put the focus on yourself and your own lack of precedence"


Now, I don't know about Kat Williams type pimp stories :-), but I will ask the couple a few questions before I make a fool of myself and embarrass everyone. Stop it with the Kat Williams, LMBAO. SLC is right, they do know me and they did ask me to run with this. But I don't think they really knew what they were asking for. Well, they've seen me on a different stage, but I'd better keep fielding questions.

OneChele said...
Fall back on the cliches - they always work. "Blessings as they walk this path" "embrace their destiny" "solidify their union" "always hold the love you hold for each other in your hearts" - I got a ton of 'em work for every engagement and wedding regardless of what kind of duo. Good luck!


CareyCarey said...
OneChele, you know what, your suggestion might be the lick. Those words would tend to ease a lot of tension. They speak to the core of the union and the couple, and not their sexuality. I have spoken with the "groom" today (twice), and I asked her how she wanted to playing this. The following are her words..."You know "Cee" (me), open the shit up and let some muthafu*kers say a little sumtin' and close the shit down"


I then asked her if I would be introducing her court.. one by one. And if they would do anything special. Her words: "Yes, they will walk down as couples, most of them are pretty straight -on my side - but Alisha's bitches(maids of honor) can be fools"


So OneChele, I might have to take your advice and play it super low, and stick with the cliches'. Really, give me a few more and I am going to write them on my cue cards. Contrary to what some may think, I am looking forward to the evening. It will be another moment of memories. But to tell you the whole truth, I plan on doing my thang (opening the precedings & doing the toast thang) and then catch my hat. I am not planning on staying around for the whole night. Nope, her mother (my date) feels the same way. I am cool, but I ain't tryin' to play with the puppy until it licks me in my face.But I still haven't figured out the first dance thang. The father (I am the step-dad) generally has a dance, but since she's a do or die dude(she will be wearing a tuxedo), it could be awkward for me and her. Any more suggestions?

Keith said...
I can't tell you what to say..because see , you and I are kindred spirits and we both have the same problem of being "appropriately inapropriate"at times like this...But please take pictures...Just the visual of you MCing an event like this is bringing laughter to my soul...Just do you and be you good brother!

Friend in L.A. said...
Oh Lord! Wasn't it not too long ago that you and that mike got in trouble with your nephew or cousin or somebody at a family celebration? I see a YouTube moment coming on.

CareyCarey said...
Wow Crystal, you have quite a memory. You are absolutely correct, it was my nephews wedding reception. See, I've learned a little something, I am asking questions first :-). And, I wasn't the MC, I was just running my mouth. Yes, my friend from LA, you called me out on that one. I did stick my foot in my mouth,but what about a time called now? *lol*Now Keith, I feeling you on the "be me thing" and I love taking pictures and sharing them on my blog, but there is no way I am going to take pictures that might "seem" to catch me in a compromising position *lol*. I can see the headlines **Is Carey leading a secret life**Yes Keith, we have kindred souls, we might say something inappropriate, but you will not find a picture of me in the arms of a man that I thought was a woman.


Mizrepresent said...
Well, do indeed speak from the heart (which i know you will) and with temperment. I don't expect you will be telling Gay jokes, but if you do make sure they are laughing too! I mean who can't laugh at themselves, we all do. Anyways, have a great time!


A.Smith said...
I'm with the general sentiment of the room. Skip the potentially problematic jokes and go for something easy and light.A joke gone bad is too much of a risk -- it would move the focus from the two people it's supposed to be about and on to a simple failed joke.I'm sure they asked you to MC for a reason, and I'm sure it's because they know you -- but even still, people have a bad habit of assuming folks can read minds.

FreeMan said...
LMBAO check your email man I sent you to someone else's podcast. That wasn't mine so check the email for the link and cut and paste it if you have to. LMBAO

Dirty Red said...
Cary,Good luck with that....I don't know what to say, but I agree with JJbrock.... Stay away from the jokes. Now if you were gay and telling gay jokes, then, well, it would be funny. But since you are not... some people might take offense. It is just like a Black comdian telling jokes about Black people to Black people. It can be funny as ha-ha-hell. But if a White dude told those same jokes, then a riot would break out. It is what it is man.... Oh... and I did not know you lived in Iowa.... Damn, I did not think that they made us up there. (That was a joke man...)

CareyCarey said...
Red, yeah, you were right, I never thought about it like that. Just because I might have thought my intentions were in the right place, some might have viewed it differently. Okay, now here we are. The night is over and I had a great time. It didn't start out that way. Well, I lost my notes. I had little tidbits of information(that the groom gave me) about the wedding party. I didn't even know their names without my notes. Anyway, before the thang jumped off, I scrambled around (looking desperate and stupid), but I finally got it together. Actually, I found an Internet connection (at the hotel) and hit this post. Really, yawl gave me some good advice. I didn't tell one joke. Well, I mean a gay joke. I busted out a few people, but everyone rolled with it.


I held my thang - personal comments - until the last. I am her stepfather, so I said a few words. But I didn't do the electric slide. Oh no, when I passed the mike to the DJ, I was done. Great night, great time, mo memories. Yes Red, we got everything in Iowa. Even black folks *lol*


I plan on posting some pictures. Nope, you will not see me in the arms of anyone, but my lady did get hit on by a white chick. I can't tell you what she told the women, or what she called the woman, but it starts with a "B". And, it ended with... "if you don't get out of my face". It was a great night!

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...
Well Carey, re: your last comment. The undercover paparazzi was there. I know 'cause I hired them. If you'd like to purchase the more scandalous photos they took of you, just hit me up and I's sure we can work out a deal. ;)

CareyCarey said...
Now Kit, you've read my blog so you have to know that I've been around. I peeped that dude in the long trench coat. So, since I also read your blog, I know where you live. Well, not only did I switch his film, I paid him more than you did. Meaning, I paid him to take a few pictures of YOU. Although you thought that blond wig was a great disguise, these pictures of you at the slip & slid - hideaway hotel, shows all your glory. *lol*So, as 2Pac said, fair exchange ain't no crime. Game is made to be sold and not told. We just have to agree on a price. Back atcha *wink*

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...
LOL! Nigga, that wasn't a blonde wig. That was part of my fluffy gold Easter Duck costume.

CareyCarey said...
*LOL* Well Kit, since you felt comfortable enough to call me NIgga, and you up in here telling yo' business, let me respond. Like I said, although you had on that Easter Duck costume, (as you called it), and only your hairdresser knows the real thang ....pictures don't lie. You may call "yours"... kitten or fluffy gold, and that thang may be fluffy, but it ain't gold. Well, I mean, the color is not golden. Keep it thrill and keep it up, and I'm gonna post these pictures. LMBAO, your move RED, opps.

Kit (Keep It Trill) said...
*smiles shyly*Well, ya caught me, I admit. Here's me in my other blonde wig that I actually posted on my blog in 2/2010 and 7/2008.

CareyCarey said...
I have to give it to you Kit, you're good. See, I ran my stupid behind over to those links, thinking I was going to see something... ahhh, you know.But they were interesting articles (long), but interesting. I had read the first (2010's) but not the other. I loved the Pyrimid one. Yes, you were speaking the truth. It's a tough titty, but somebody gonna suck it... or not! You spoke the facts of life. It's a man's world.


Maxine said...
You will be brilliant Carey, be your serious-funny self. That's why they asked you to be part of this momentous occasion in the first place - because you'll do it amazingly well.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

DON'T CRY, LISTEN. THEY'RE BLOWING SMOKE UP YOUR ASS.

If a person does not get something from the following, they are not looking for IT.


I've often wondered why I blog. However, I have found a serendipitous reward from doing so. The following post and comment has been my reward. So one mo'agin.



Monkey see, monkey see doo doo. Whose ass are you biting, and why? Don't run now, come on in. If you say who? I'll say who? Your feet don't fit no limb.


In a different post, I asked the question, "why do people fail". In spite of some peoples most valiant efforts, the overwhelming majority of people fail at their major goals. I am not talking about acquiring a degree, nor saving for a vacation. I am talking about making substantial life changes at the midpoint of our lives.


When our habits set in, and they become who we are, I don't care if it's losing a substantial amount of weight or finding that special soul-mate, people generally do not make it to the finish line. Racist remain racist and bitter people remain stuck in a mindset that keeps their mouth's fixed in a sour position, and lies will create drama. The overwhelming majority of Alcoholics will die from their habit, and those that do not believe they have a drinking problem, will die from their denial. Pulpit pimps will prosper, and the sheep will continue to be led astray. And,Whispers will gossip behind hushed tones.... WHY!
Well Jay MIDnyte had the answer.


Jay Midnyte said... I was thinking about writing a post like this today. I was gonna call it "Treating the Symptom."So my answer to your question is because people don't treat the CAUSE of their problems, they try to treat the symptoms.


CareyCarey said... You've hit the Lottery, Jay! Yep, if the knowledge a person gains, is nothing more than a band-aid, the root of the problem will remain. And, as this applies to my question and solution. It's my opinion that no matter how much conviction and effort a person throws at their problem, if they are throwing it on the wrong wall, it will forever go wanting. So, in essence, their intentions my be in the right place, but they may not have be given the right knowledge, or even sought the right knowledge.


However, it is the persons responsibility to look far and wide for the right "truth". But come on, we need some more of that wisdom! Break it down like we a 5th graders.



Jay Midnyte said... Well... First, I started to not trust the conventional sources of news and information. That mistrust was probably sparked by one of the documentaries I watched a long time ago, but I don't know which one.


That skepticism and mistrust led to me always looking up the information or theories people presented. You know, it's basically the development of the scientific mindset..."A good scientist is observant and notices thing in the world around him/herself. (S)he sees, hears, or in some other way notices what’s going on in the world and becomes curious about what’s happening. This can and does include reading and studying what others have done in the past because scientific knowledge is cumulative. In physics, when Newton came up with his Theory of Motion, he based his hypothesis on the work of Copernicus, Kepler, and Galileo as well as his own, newer observations. Darwin not only observed and took notes during his voyage, but he also studied the practice of artificial selection and read the works of other naturalists to form his Theory of Evolution."Then this led to me having a constant curiosity.



In terms of diet, basically I figured out that the profit motive usually will lead to people trying to keep others ignorant to protect profit. For example, I would look at the list of ingredients on a loaf of bread and see things like bleached enriched flower, high fructose corn syrup, calcium sulfate, ammonium proponiate, etc. I would find out WHAT these ingredients are and WHY someone would put them in food. And these little "discoveries" start to keep rewarding my search for information because then I can actually come to the conclusion that obesity, cardiovascular disease, colon cancer, diabetes, and others are the response of the body to the constant fight it maintains against all the toxins we feed it.



The problem is MOST people will watch one documentary, believe everything, and stop there. They might take action, but when they actually try to explain to someone else why they are taking action, they realize they don't even know why they are taking action. They give up because they still only have the band-aid of knowledge. That is the problem that lies behind someone getting their information from the wrong source. That's the problem! They got it from a source, instead of exploring all there is on the topic from all sides. If they do that, then they come to their OWN conclusions based on all the information they've seen and can actually BELIEVE in it and defend their beliefs. This is also why if someone watches a movie that questions everything about their religion and belief in God, they get all messed up, and wonder if they really should believe in a God. They didn't even know WHY they believed in the first place...


Back to my point... This scientific process repeated over and over in different areas of interest leads to a love of gaining new knowledge and insight. And that leads to truth. Which I think is not absolute, at least for the person, because as someone who has developed the scientific mindset you have to accept that somewhere out there, there might be something that shatters your truth. So you basically have a viewpoint of, I believe this is what's true until someone or something can prove completely that this is wrong. The end result is the learned ability to quickly weed out what is NOT true from their sources and to quickly recognize truth.


CareyCarey said... Jay, my man, I am going to tell you right now, I am going to erase your name off your comments, and say they were mine. Your comments should be read by everyone on this planet. Your words are not for the weak, or those in denial, but if someone is looking for the truth, you words spoke volumes.


Gosh, it's so simple. Seek first to understand, REALLY UNDERSTAND. Then we can quickly weed out what is NOT true. And, we do that by referencing several sources (multiple sources) and not rely on the words or opinions of a few. Because if we do(rely on others), we will find ourselves in a bunch of doo doo. Then we have no one to blame but ourselves!

Until we do the initial hard core research, all the push-ups, diet plans, sitting in pews - saying amen... we shall overcome, gossip, good intentions, convictions and yearly resulution, we be moot points.

Damn, facts don't change, and the more we have, the easier will be our path to a greater outcome. When I think, I mean, really think about it, all the great men and women have used this solution. And, they separated themselves from the masses by doing so. Damn, so so simple.