Tuesday, April 7, 2009

He lies - She lies

I don't know if anyone has paid attention to the words on my header but it speaks to fear and standing alone on something that is not a popular opinion. I've heard it said that fear and faith can not coexist in the same heart. Faith is a topic all in itself. God is another topic that could be discussed or debated for many hours. I only mention those subjects because I have to lay the foundation for the subject on my post ...not to imply that I have anymore faith in god or believe in him anymore than the next man. I will eventually do a post on the subject of God and those that follow his words but not today. Even in saying I will do a post on that subject I do not wish to imply that I am someone that can quote Scripture or one that is living a life according to words of the bible. No ...that post is for another time. My post is not about God or faith it's about honesty and the lies we tell, to ourselves and to others. It's not a popular subject because as one character in a movie said, we can't handle the truth.
I mentioned God because most people will say they believe in God but a very minute amount of individuals actually believe in him. By that I mean, many can quote scripture and will praise him while someone is listening but few actually live by his words on a daily basis ....all the time and they are very much aware of their wrongdoing but rationlize their decisions. It's sort of like they have a God of convenience. Some even twist the words of the bible to fit their own plan. Am I being a whisperer? ...no, I am telling the truth. The truth hurts and a form of pain is admitting that I may be wrong about something. A part of that pain is admitting that someone else is right. Few will ever go there because it's uncomfortable.

I think I have arrived at the subject of this post, "He lies - She lies". This actually is a followup to yesterdays post "Women Don't No Nothing". I choose women but I could have just as easily choose men.

I don't know if anyone has taken a lie detector test but I have. The administrator gives what they call baseline questions to set a tone of a person responses. One of the questions is .....have you ever cheated on your tax return? That question sets a tone because most, in some small way, cheat on their tax returns. And see, the questions can only be answered with a yes or no. Another is, do you lie? Well, that again rattles some because most people lie. They have excuses why they lie but they nevertheless lie. Here's another that always sets a tone ....will you lie to me today?

Now I've set the tone for the body of my post today. Although some of the questions will be answered with something other than a yes or no, I think my point is made. Lies will follow some questions and the questioner will see them.
Remember, if you don't want to know the truth ...don't ask!

1. Are you going to lie to me today?
2. Have you ever lied to me in the past?
3. What have you lied about?
4. Do we do things sexually that you do not like or that is not pleasing to you but you've been afraid to tell me?
5. Do you have doubts about my faithfulness to you?
6 Have you done things of a sexual manner with others that you've been afraid to ask me to do? What?
7. Is my hygiene always the way you'd like for it to be?
8 Have you ever thought about terminating the relationship?
9. Why do men have sex outside the home?
10. If I told you that I slept with another person, what would you say or do?
11. Have you slept with another person since we've been together
12, Did those last 2 questions make you uncomfortable ....why or why not.
13. Can a man have a relationship outside the home and still love his wife?
14. Why do you think I need you in my life?
15. If you could have sex with another person and it was alright with me or thought I would never find out, would you?
16. Do you still love me and why.
17. Do women think about having affairs as much as men.

Okay, these questions are not deep but I wonder how the average person would answer them, women or men. Would most lie or say the "right" thing? That's the big question. Who would answer the questions with vigorous honesty ...men or women? Why? Gosh, I don't know if I'd ever agree to take a test like that. I wonder why ....ummmmm.


Charles said...

I believe that fear and faith can never stay in the same heart!

Madam Z said...

Wow! Great post and great questions.

Like you said, "if you don't want to know the truth ...don't ask!" The truth hurts! It's better to just believe what you want to believe. The person, whether a man or a woman, who askes these questions is stepping into a mine field. If the S.O. is totally without fault, you would know that in your heart, and wouldn't even think of asking the questions. If you're asking the questions because you're pretty sure your partner is going to give answers you won't like, don't fool yourself into thinking you can handle it.

By the way, the answer to number 17 is "yes!" They don't all act on it, but they sure as hell think about it.

♫Hershey's Kiss♫ said...

Great post. I'm young so I can't answer all these questions. If a person cannot be truthful then the trust in thrown out the window. And you are right. Fear and faith can never stay in the same heart. I agree with Madam Z anyone who asks these questions are stepping into a mine field

Blu Jewel said...

I think if you're bold enough to ask those questions, then you best be prepared for answers you're probably not going to like. Once the person answers the questions, you better be able to handle what you've heard and not use it against the person. It's a tangled web and one that's not easy to get out of if you're ill prepared to handle the truth. That's why I love the line "You want the truth? You can't handle the truth". by Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men. I flip it a little, "you want the truth? Can you handle what you'll hear and are you sure you really want to know?"

love to live; live to love!