Monday, June 29, 2009

BET - EBT - FOOD STAMPS - The Pigeon Drop & Three Card Monte!

I am a black man in America and I've been around. I've shared many of my life's adventures without real concern of what others may think of me. The beat goes on.

The executives at BET should be on the 10 most wanted list. I've been to the post office and saw the faces of those who committed crimes of various degrees, and for the most part, their faces don't always fit the crime. One women looked like my grandmother. One man had the appearance of that old white man who hung on the walls of most black churches - Jesus Christ. "Come on Carey, that's blaspheme". No it's not, it's the truth. What does a rapist or murderer look like? What's the appearance of a thief?  Well, many times they look like gold, honest John, the guy next door or the fine women in glossy magazines.

Before I continue with this true crime story and why I believe BET should be seated in front of a Grand Jury, I have a few shout outs. I have a few words of wisdom to all the haters and fence straddlers out there - they know who they are.

They are the ones that do not believe that hedging on their taxes is a crime. They will tell you that they've never had sex in the back seat of a car or had a one night affair. You can spot them. Their mouth is always fixed in the "yeah but" position. They are prone to say "while you're pointing a finger at another person", three are pointing back at you. I'd like to shout out to my naysay negro friends and tell them to take those fingers and shove'em up their dooky chute *lol*.

I continue:

Back in the day I would do short and long cons. Yep, I would travel the road and dupe unsuspecting people out of their money. I justified my deceptive ways by only playing on people that thought they were playing on me. It was a poor rationalization to do wrong but then it worked for me. It's in my past but let me continue. To them I looked like a sweet mark but the hunter always got captured by the game. One such short con game was called the ring game.

My ring game involved a beautiful expensive looking ring that was not a diamond but look alike. I had a Jewish friend that supplied me with all the trimmings. He owned a jewelry store and sold me merchant price tags and nice looking ring boxes for a very reasonable price. I wasn't the guy selling fake Gucci watches or knock-off purses, oh no. I was just a guy looking for a ring he had lost. I was the guy that was hurting because he had just lost the ring set that he was going to give to his soon to be new bride. White people were easy marks because they loved getting over on black people.

I never saw my unsuspecting prey but my "cap man" did. The setup involved a phone call, a bathroom and an innocent looking young black person. My partner would ask to use the marks restroom. It could be the restroom of a fine clothing store or a doctors office; basically any place were a person could use a restroom and money was around. Lawyers are the biggest shysters in the world and yet the easiest to con. I would call the spot and tell them that I was distraught over losing a ring I had just purchase. I told them I'd visited their establishment within the last hour. I asked if anyone had turned in the lost item and if not, would they check the rest room.
Well, my partner would appear from the restroom area gawking at "our" ring as if he had just found a new way to heaven. Prior to this discovery, I told the person on the phone that there was a reward for the ring. Now the game was on. I told them the ring was worth thousands and they didn't even have to tell the "young black youth" about the reward. I would even whisper the value of the ring, as if someone could hear us. I went on to tell them to get that ring back at all cost and I would repay them and give them a bonus and the reward. My "cap man" was good. He would resist giving up the ring until he had drained all the money he thought he could from the greedy mark. Heck, it appeared to be a no lose situation for the hunter turned mark. They had a ring worth thousands of dollars and at the very least a reward of $1000.00, plus a bonus. Some individuals would give up all the money in their purses and pockets, or that of the person they were working for because they knew money was just 10 minutes away. I told them I would be there in a few minutes. I said all that to say I recognize game and I don't like being pimp slapped.

BET is offering rings of diamonds and gold to our young minds. Music has always been a means to soothe our souls. Most love to dance and be around people of their own kind. BET has the game locked down. I do not know what's in BET's playbook but I know it's f**ked up. I have no idea what their goals are. Their intentions may be honorable, but do I need to say anything about the streets of hell and the paved streets of gold?

I can hear the knee jerks rattling in their chairs. I can hear the voices saying it's the parents job to monitor what our youth watch on TV. To those I again say ...blow it out your ass. Some fault my be placed at the feet of the parents but lets be real, many parents remember a different BET and therefore, they too have been hoodwinked into believing BET would maintain a standard of moral discipline. More so, BET is increasingly lowing the bar.

More importantly, kids will be kids and they love candy. They will eat candy and ice cream until their stomachs hurt. In this case, it's their minds, and their minds are hard to change once they've been corrupted. When I was a youth, I thought doing "the dog" was a dance on the wild side but I didn't see 2 young kids doing it on my television. I heard a few songs that said between the sheets but they sure didn't say what they were going to do in those hot sheets. They didn't tell me, or show me in graphic details how they were going to make someones toes curl. Well, not on my TV unless my uncle came over to baby sit and brought his girlfriend along. Now, they might drop in a porno tape and tell my brothers and I to go to bed, in which we did but we didn't.

If a women wanted to see a guys cheeks she had to go to a swimming pool, not watch lil'wayne's dang thang laying out above his belt line. Who want to see his nasty rusty ass?

BET has become the new food stamps. In some states the paper food stamps are gone. The new electronic food stamps are called link cards. In other states they are called EBT cards. I think those initials stand for Electronic Balance Transfer. But here's the deal, it's not money. You can only spend those funds on food. BET is serving a plate of mush. It looks good to some and to some it makes them feel real good; just like a drug. Doesn't that make BET a pimp or drug dealer?

Or maybe BET is like a gambling house that allows it's customers to wager a box bet. A box bet allows the customer to hedge their bet by winning even if the letters do not come out in the order chosen. You know, like if the winning number was 1-2-3, a person wins a little of the pot if their number was 3-2-1. Maybe Black Entertainment Television is playing on the fact that some don't care if they get BET - the straight bet, or will settle for a little of the pie; the box bet - EBT. Yeah, most gamblers think the big one is right around the corner. If the gambler's thirst is temporarily satisfied by their "ebt", a little bit of the pot, they can smile and buy a truck load of junk food, which is absent of all the essential vitamins to produce a good body and sound mind.

BET has become nothing more than a man standing on the corner playing 3 Card Monte. Keep your eye on the prize, the black Kings and Queens were there, but opps, now their gone.
Btw, that picture above is me doing something that's as dangerous as watching BET. A person can die doing that sh*t. I saw it first hand. I no longer work on high voltage power lines, nor watch BET, aka, Government Cheese.


RiPPa said...

Damn that's a good con. Try that shit today and get shot...LOL!!!

I love the BET/EBT Card analogy.

Good stuff my man.

T said...

Excellent post! I haven't watch BET in years. They have absolutely nothing to offer.

Citizen Ojo said...

Why is it when you tell black folks that you don't watch BET it's the equivalent of you telling someone that you haven't brushed your teeth in 5 years... The shocked blank stares kill me...

CareyCarey said...

Well RiPPa, once we thought we'd make a quick sting at a redneck gas station and Bubba pulled out a gun and took the ring ...real story!

Hey T, what's up. I can't that I don't watch it. Well, sometimes when I am channel checkin' I stop for a second if I see a women bumping it off the floor know, it's the man in me. But I am quickly brought back to my senses when I feel the heat of ol'girl eyes cutting my throat. I don't even have to fully turn my head her way next station.

@ Mr. Ojo ...Yeah, you have to be careful who you give your heart to. Some black folks will pull on your hair to see if it's fake if you tell them you can't dance. Young folks think we ain't cool if we don't watch BET. 5 years of bad breath - that's bad :-).

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...

Just because I'm a "sista" doesn't mean that I have to support BET right? I didn't find the show tasteful in the least. I put my disappointing comments on Keith's blog so I won't repeat them here but one thing that I failed to meniton is that I truly didn't get what Beyonce's song and outfit had to do w/Michael's Tribute. I know you fellas love to see her anytime wearing anything but that one went over my head.

On another note, Maxwell was in a class all his own!

Love ya Carey and the photo attached to your post! (Smile)

Ms. Butterfly

Blu Jewel said...

I so feel this post Carey and concur and endorse what you've said. Until this recent afraud show, I gave Black Embarassment Televsion or Bafoonery Entertainment Televsion as one of my readers call it; not ratings. NONE. NADA. ZIP. ZERO! They lost their right to my ratings years ago and I agree with Citizen Ojo that folk look at you like you've got six heads when you say that. They've become nothing that means anything and I refuse to support that coonfuggery.

I ONLY reason they got ratings was because I wanted to see what they'd pulled off in such a short time for Michael Jackson (R.I.P) and to see Maxwell. If not for that, I'd have had the t.v on another channel.

I loathe the negative stereotypes, the pathetic shows, and whatever else crap they're selling.

In closing, you've lived a very colourful life Carey.

Love to live; live to love!

jjbrock said...

Carey beautiful post. I was so disappointed in BET that I could have screamed.

There's no excuse for what happen Sunday night. Michael deserve more than what we got Sunday night, especially from our community.

The man was a genius he left us with so much music to work with I don't understand what could have been the problem.

CareyCarey said...

Hi Miss Butterfly,

It must be a woman thang. I have a cousin that said exactly the same thing about Beyounce. She said she couldn't figure out how her performance was anything other than self promotion. She said she didn't have any objections to her outfit because that's what Beyonce is all about but just wasn't feeling her.

That photo was me in another adventure in my life. High voltage power lines - zap zap. As you know I've been in many dangerous situation but I saw death first hand and it's nothing like the movies. A persons body gets blown apart ...melted to nothing but bones and mass of liquids.

@ Blu Jewel ...*lol* a very colorful life is a nice way to but it. I laugh because I've only shared a very small part.

I've read other posts that also feel the way we feel about BET but the killing part is, we are in the minority. What does that say about us as a whole.

@ Ms. Brock ...Hello Ann, I think it's all about the root of "most" evils - money! Any time we let small girls dance around a man while he's talking about having sex, something is seriously wrong. I didn't watch the show and I am glad I didn't. My post would have probably had more cuss words than it did. I heard a lot of those words from friends of mine while talking about the show, that I shouldn't repeat. So again, I am glad I didn't watch the show. I almost got sucked into the tribute thang and had actually switched to the channel after seeing it advertised on another station. But I woke up from that dumbness and quickly switched back.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Wow, you expressed this perfectly. I limit my BET viewing because it's unrelatable but they're definitely not trying to please us. Like you's the eye and ear candy that gets the young folks hooked.

Great post!

P.S. Making some changes over at the Chronicles, including my blog roll...hint Be good!

CareyCarey said...

Utt ohh my curvy sugar bear, now we workin' with something. Am going to drop by and see what you've done to your house. Is it okay if I bring my slippers? :-).

Thanks for the compliment.

MochaSwissMrs said...

Wow what a great post. I'm new on Blogger and I'm reading about some interesting minds. I feel the same way about BET. Every Black person I know treats me like I'm crazy. I probably will never forget how my friend look at me today when I told her I didnt atch the BET Awards! She was shocked and dismayed! LOL BET has nothing to offer me at all. Sad to say this but its true-Watch that Boondocks episode on BET-Mr.McGruder is on point.