Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Who Gives A Fat F**k!!!

Please forgive the title. I have acquired a need to do put this post right where it belongs ....in the moral, and social basement of our minds. I mean, who really gives a flying fu*k about our youth and the rest of the rolling stones of moral decay, lost hopes, and dreams long gone. Sure, it's easy to say "I do" and write a post about it.

But listen to this analogy. It's disturbing to be awaken by an alarm clock. That menacing noise that interrupts our sleep, is a rude awakening from a peaceful slumber. But alas, with our eyes half shut, we can stop that noise. By rolling over, before we even glance at the clock, we can throw a lazy hand in it's direction and turn  off that sleep interuption. Later that day, we can even talk about it or write about it.

Really, no REALLY, who really cares about events outside their own lives? Wait, answer the following question, but let me go first. Years ago, I was asked the question "what did I value". Okay, I have to admit that I didn't really understand the question. They broke it down for me like I was mentally handicapped. I was told to make a list of things that I never want to see leave my life. Things that were important to me was at the root of their question. I was in a small office, me and another person, I thought long and hard.

Struggling to impress this person, I went into deep contemplation in a quest to find all the right answers. Pretentiousness was my soulmate. But see, the question was sort of a trick question - or was it? My family is important to me. My mother, my father, my sisters and brothers are important to me. It goes without saying that money plays an important part in all of our lives. My health is an integral part of my survival. Friends, and their opinions are also essential elements of my existence. Of course there's religion, and my faith.

I finished the list with a smile on my face. I took my time completing that list. Surely my friend would be impressed by my collegial list filled with expressions of love and family responsibilities. I even included my love for my PC and cell phone.  I had plenty of time to think about my answers, of which, numbered near 100. What would be at the top of your list? At the top of my list were people and things that I would die for. But now, looking back, I've come to believe it was a very selfish list.

But let me go back a little further so I can explain where I'm coming from. One day, some years ago, I quietly and cautiously prepared to kill a man because he had harmed my son. Borrowing a page from the Godfather movie, I packed his things and put him on a plane. I didn't want him to be a suspect in this murder, nor be questioned about it. Before he embarked, I shook his hand and told him I would see him soon. He knew what I was going to do, we talked about it. I told him not to call.

A week went by, the day was getting near. His mother, my wife, asked me if I was sure this is what I wanted to do. She asked me what kind of message would I be sending to my son? I felt I was about to do the manly thing; no one could harm one of mine, and not pay for their crime. Street justice was my motto. I could care less about a trail by a jury of my "peers". Theses peers were white folks, my son was black, the perpetrator was white. After 2 months, my son came home. I never told another person, or my son, what happened to that man.  Were my motives selffish?

What would be on your list? Who's really listening, and who really cares? Sure, people talk about a myriad of issues. From world hunger and the greenhouse affect, to gang violence and the illiteracy rate of young black males, people talk about it. Scholars, bloggers and world leaders, write and talk about the worlds ills. Check this, despite minority student populations of about 44%, less than 2% of teachers in the USA are African-American men . But wait, there are programs in place to increase the percentages of black male teachers. One such program has predicted another 250 future teachers in the years to come. Don't run to your local school to meet Mr Tibbs or the black PTA. To improve the national percentage of black male teachers to even 3 percent, another 45,000 would need to enroll. Who really cares? Who really cares about the front line of black mentors or lack there of? Sure, we can talk about the lack of positive role models, and absent fathers, but who really cares about the core issues of black underachievement, and the real solutions? We can talk about it.

I mean, who really cares enough to sacrifice, suffer, or maybe die for something they merely "care" about?! Who's really listening to those that have gone before us? Nelson Mandela said ..."When we are liberated from our fears, our presence automatically liberates others". Malcolm X said, "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything". I wonder what value we put on our "cares"? What was at the top of your valued list? Domestic Violence? Was it teen pregnancy? Was it the war against drugs? Was it better school systems. Was it about your neighbor or your fellow man and their well being? Or was it all about ........YOU.

Btw, my list was all about me and my family and things or events that make me comfortable, or unhappy. It was basically absent of issues or events that I thought were out of my control. I care about social change but.....

I care, but I am left to wonder how much I really care and what do I REALLY care about?   


MoMo said...

i like this, it really struck a chord with me too.

Solomon said...

I love the two quotes "When we are liberated from our fears. our presence automatically liberates others. I have seen this one first hand.

Then "A man that stands for nothing will fall for anything." I have seen this so many times in my life I lost count years ago.

btw Carey, 100 things you couldn't live without is a pretty long list. When you first were talking about it I was thinking you could maybe pick a couple things. But 100? Bwahahahaha!

jjbrock said...

"What would be at the top of your list"? Carey great question and I've never consider that question before now...But in all honesty it would be my family.

FreeMan said...

No one really cares! They like to say the right things or give you a BS right on but they don't care.

The only thing the average person cares about is caring about things that will keep them employed. Everything after that they are smiling in your face and practicing to be professional BS artist as they name theirselves Democrats, Liberals, Nationalist, Militant, Hustlers, Thugs and Citizens of the World.

Most people don't know what they deeply care about either. The default is family but truth be told the catchall might be the ability to determine their own life without the BS influence of others. That encompasses doing what is necessary to make sure your way of life prevails.

Overall most people just say whatever they think will impress you. They will argue with you over stuff they never investigated. They will blame the same people that are blamed on TV or the blog they read.

Most people don't care because they don't have any true say over this world. So they care about whatever everyone else cares about. So envision a dog sniffing another dogs ass and that is what we have in the minds of most people. A overall happiness to pee, fuck and eat in a cage where the illusion of running free is taken from you when the owner decides to put back on your leash.

So they don't care because caring requires some kind of power to change things and most people don't have that power!

RiPPa said...

It's easy to be cynical. What's difficult is to have the audacity to hope.

Our world is full of cynics. Or at least it appears that way via methods of social conditioning.

Here's one to "build" on...

"You write in order to change the world ... if you alter, even by a millimeter, the way people look at reality, then you can change it."- James Baldwin

CareyCarey said...

Now that was tight, RiPPa. You brought it home. You and Baldwin brought HOPE alive. I usually try to keep my posts about me, and this was another example of what I have learn through my journey. I was asking myself if I "really" cared, or what I really cared about. Thanks for the bone. I mean, writing is a bridge to deeper thought.

@ Freeman, you are my tell-it-like-it-is man. People love to be part of a crowd. If it means saying all the right things at the cost of their integrity, most don't mind paying the piper.

@ MoMO, what chord did it strike?

@ Solomon, so you liked those quotes? Yep, me too. To me, reading literature of those I respect is like reading the bible. There may be some things I do not understand about the bible, but there's loads of enlightenment.

@ jjbrock. I agree, family must come first. I am pleased that this post appears to have inspired some kind of self-discovery. I wonder how many "social ills" would be in the top 20, if everyone took the test? Like Freeman said,"Birds of a feather". I think it would depend on how the test was administered. As you read, I wasn't lead down a path, and my list was absent of anything that took me out of my comfort zone, or that I thought I had little control over.

Although I used writers and talkers ( I am one)as the whipping boy for this post, I think many found the other message.

Mizrepresent said...

Oooh baby baby, oooh baby...okay let me stop here...man i had so much to say about this post, so much that my mind just overwhelmed me...have you ever had that happen to you. The list, first and foremost...i know that i would put my family first, my kids, my mom, my siblings...i know i would, but i couldn't put them first without considering the other kids out there who don't have the love of their mom, their families. See, we can go on and say we don't give a shit about the other, but in reality my family can very well be your other, and so i'm saying i really want you to care about my children, like you would want someday for someone to care about yours. I mean as much as we try to be the supermom, superdad, we hope and pray that when we are not there that someone, anyone steps up to the plate to show some care. To reduce it to i only care about my fam is pitiful, and slights everything our lives was built on. You see Rosa Parks may have startedd the Montgomery Busboycott, but it was countles, unamed others that fulfilled that dream...like today Carey. Whether it be our blogs, or our conversations with others, or outspoken word in office settings, it is still a means to an end. And so i say, you may think alot of folks are just saying what they say to boost ratings, to liftn themselves up while doing nothing. But real people, people like me are saying it, are living it, because we don't just want to lift up our masses, but because we want to become apart of the cause, the movement. The movement isn't dead, not at all, it has just taken on many forms. I work it bc i have a son in jeopardy. I preach. I pray. I have hope because to give up is not a viable choice. I, like many others are here for real...are you?

CareyCarey said...

Well Well Well, Hello Miz.

You once told me this: "...."Carey- i have always thought some of our most powerful writers, and talented were the ones who had suffered much and in the end gained themselves......."

I believe I mentioned (in my post) that I took that test many years ago. I also said it was a question to myself. Maybe you didn't catch it, but my mindset has changed.

Through my struggles and my rewards on the other side, my mindset has changed. I believe my ministry (serving, giving of oneself)comes from were my misery once lived.

A deeper examination of my post will uncover the fact that I was nieve to the direction or purpose of the list (back then). Sure, it's my hope that everyone would consider the fate of his fellow man. That was the main point in my post. I wanted people to ask themselves the same question I was asking myself.

RiPPa brought it to light with the quote by James Baldwin.

In short, fulfillment for me is not always a matter of income, or affirmation statements.

So, to answer your question....>>>> "I pray. I have hope because to give up is not a viable choice. I, like many others are here for real...are you?"

Although I don't know what you mean by "here", but Yes! More than you obviously know? It's what I do.

Some give without seeking rewards. I not only write about it, I am in the struggle with those less fortunate.

When I write and speak, hopefully my frustrations and those of my readers, turns to wisdom.

uglyblackjohn said...

The thing is; You don't have to care to make a change (or at least make an attempt at making a change).

I HATE the hood.
Even when I lived there - I knew that it wasn't the life for me.
I hate the limitations put upon people by their own.
I hate the lack of hope.
I hate the acceptence of an infwerior life.
I hate the smell.
Often, I even hate the people.

But my hate has driven me (even when I don't want to) to turor kids in homes that smell of urine, mold and decay.
I visit, feed and mentor families that and stopped believing in themselves.
I build and re-build (at no charge) homes that have been neglected for generations.
Everyday, I go home bitter and disgusted that things will never change for many of the people.

You see; I don't do these things as part of my job.
This is giving from ones substance - not their abundance.
There is no material reward for these efforts.

Well... maybe I do care about the conditions in the hood.
Maybe I just don't care for the hood itself (as it is today) and wish to make a lasting change in the lives of the people.

But to answer your question; no one really cares about others - they only care about being seen as better than the others.

CareyCarey said...

Hello Uncleblackjohn,

First, you have to tell me what's behind that name?

I love it when people drop by and talk about themselves. See, I consider myself a 1-2-3, a-b-c, kind of guy. By that I mean I listen for facts. When individuals give of themselves (share) like you've done, I don't have to figure it out, it's all you.

Without being specific, I know what you mean about hating something but still staying in the struggle. I too toil in a area where disappointment is king.

If I can disagree with a couple of your remarks. To say no one cares, is simply not true. Also, I don't think a person can do a job effectively, or complete a task (effectively) if they didn't care. Of course we may have a different definition for caring but I am leaning more towards Miz's feelings.

I doubt "caring" can be absent. But again (as my post stated)how much do we care. It's obvious that you care. Well, if you didn't, I don't see how you could do all those things that others only wink at.

Thanks for coming by. Please return.

uglyblackjohn said...

Yeah... you're right.
I DO care - I just don't enjoy it and don't know if it's making a diference..
I came by at FreeMan's recomendation.

It's a joke from my youth when I'd get a lot of girls.
My friends would call me that to keep me from getting a big head.
I also can't stand all the "King This" or "Queen That" that goes on.
If one is really all that, their name should be enough.
It is just a name that I found funny (and that others find offensive).

CareyCarey said...

@ Uglyblackjohn, again we are walking down the same path. I know what you mean by "not knowing if you are making a difference".

Yes, success is hard to qualify when we are dealing with changing attitudes, and/or trying to make meaningful differences in a person life. If the gift is in giving (which I believe to be true), I get my rewards from the small things, like a passionate thank you or, a tear accompanied with a smile.

If nothing else, a role model can give others guidance during any time of need (even when that role model is not around). It's sort of like a prayer. They go up, but there's no specific time when the blessing will come down. I have to admit though, sometimes I get weary.

Everyone has a calling or a purpose. The struggle is the search to find that purpose. It usually does not come without some sort of pain.

Tell my man, Freeman, I said HELLO!