Thursday, November 12, 2009

Family Reunion: The blogsphere is a smogasbord!

Okay, here we go! "GIVE ME TWENTY YEARS JUDGE CAREY, I AM GUILTY. Its a good thing when we can check each other" - Big Mac in Pittsburgh

I guess my blogging has not gone in vane. See, I had to put ol'bigmac attack on check mate. Well, I didn't have to, and it was all in jest, but he gave me an idea. It started when we were over at my blog doing what grown men do... talk about women *wink*. The conversation wasn't centered on women but Ol'Mac let something fall out of his mouth that needed a little -- lets say -- cleaning up.

But through that discussion, I found an idea. See, Mac in Pittsburgh is a professional. He works for a chemical company, but first and foremost, he's a black man. In such, we get out of pocket - sometimes. But this post is not about Big Mac or woman. It's about the smorgasbord of this thang called the blogsphere. It kind of reminds me of a family reunion.

Ut OH, I know you feel me coming. Yep, Big Momma and all the offspring are coming to town! Of course this post is not for those whom take themselves too seriously. Nope, it's not that kind of party.

But first I need a little help because it doesn't appear as if I'm going to be able to do this alone. Here's the setup. We've all been to a family reunion of some sort - right? I love family reunion and I love this blog thing. Well, I've noticed a few similarities in the two. Are you with me? I know you are. So, because I need your help in writing this post, here's what I want you all to do. Think of a situation, person, group of people, type of person or event that happens at a family reunion, that mirrors such in the blog world.

I don't want to put words in your mouth, but I can think about card games and the voices around that event. I can also see food and the conversations around that. I see a variety of walk and talk and dress and drunks.

And see, this post is not only going to be about the smorgasbord of the blogsphere, I want it to be the voice of several bloggers. Here's what I am looking for. We all know there's a gossip corner at family reunions... "Girl, I don't know who she thinks she is, I remember when she....".

How about drunk Uncle Willie.... "Willie, sit yo' drunkass down somewhere, you ain't talking about nothing"

How about the sh*t talkers at the domino table. Yep, it's a place where everybody is talking mess and telling lies.... "Get on your job boy, get in that bone yard. You ain't never played a man as good as me"

That's what I am looking for. I am looking for experiences from family reunions that parallels, to some degree, those in the blogsphere. This will not be a hot blast at anyone, it's gonna be funny -- I hope.

But here's the deal. You don't have to post your additions under your usual blog name. In fac,t I'd prefer that you didn't. Post them under anonymous. This way, everyone can play and not have to worry about their words. But if you want to post under your name, go right ahead.

After I get a number of ideas/additions, I am going to hookup the post.

See you in the funny papers. This is going to be fun. Don't be scared (lurkers too). It's all in a fun day in the vast world called the blogsphere. Sometimes we need a break from reality.


Anonymous said...

I remember a family reunion many years ago.I was barely a teenager when this one went down but it was quite memorable. It was my aunt and auncles 25th wedding anniversary party.

First of all this was way back in the day. It was one to remember for sure. To start off the mess there was a dinner and and band/dance afterwards. It was similar to showin' up to you cousin's wedding on a few Saturday in July.

The one thing that put this whole mess right over the top was the fact that there was a sitdown dinner and a full open bar for the whole evening. If any of you folks are too young to know what that means, well, it means that there was a full bar and all the drinks were free till closing time.

Let's just say everyone had a very good time. Even us kids were pretty good at sneakin' round and sippin' on a few of the older folks cocktails.

The funniest part of the whole deal is one of my uncles was hallerin' at one of my cousins, and there was all kinds or mess going on. It was funny because it is the only time I ever remember an argument breaking out much less a serious exchange of words.

Everybody was obviously taking full advantage of the 'open' bar. Folks were walkin' sideways, and other folks were sleeping it off either at the table or over on the floor in the corner of the room.

Everyone had a good time that night. Even the band. Looking back at the band I would have to say they got their money's worth at the bar.

It was pretty close to closing, and the older folks were trying to round up all us kids. I was wondering why the older folks were acting a little bit stanger than the strange they usually were after one of this shindigs.

People are basically falling over everywhere I looked. And there was more than one argument about who was goig to drive home. P.S. looking back at it there wasn't a single person that should have been allowed within 20 feet of a car.

But the frosting on the cake was the sight as we were being pushed out the door as we were leaving. One look and it was obvious the band had taken advantage of the free drinks. Under one of the tables close to the dance floor there was the drummer. He was completely naked. I mean he didn't even have his socks on anymore. And he was passed out under one of the long tables lying on his back.

There was a combination of laughter and people looking like they were in complete shock. It was mostly laughing though.

FreeMan said...

How about every time we all get together my mother has to separate all the boys from each other so teasing doesn't break out. In the past the teasing would lead to wrestling and then to fighting then to us choosing sides and then damn near a gang fight. Then all the women look at us like we are bunch of animals and only when they had enough do we all stop under the banner of "be a good example for the kids"

In the blogosphere escalation can happen and since I am used to picking a side and putting up my dukes I have to watch myself!

CareyCarey said...

That's what I'm talking about! I am going to use both of those stories in my post. Now they may not look the same when they appear in this post but you'll see them. Oh boy, I promise you, this is going to be fun. I'll wait for some more.

I don't know when I'll get at this, but it's on the burner.

LOL @ the naked drummer.

Ladies and gentlemen "give the drummer some" ...It looks like he had to much.

Solomon said...

I can't top the naked drummer but I can remember a few drinks flowing down the pipe back in the day myself.

It was kind of comical the way all of us used to place a friendly bet as to when my mother would pass out and take what amounted to a long nap. See, it wasn't even a matter of if, but as I said, it was only a matter of time. Once the first frink touched her lips everyone started placing their bets.

Mom never knew we were doing this either. It was our little 'secret'. Every person in the house knew but mom.

Poor mom, miss you mom! Mom passed a few years ago.

Anonymous said...

As long as we're on the topic of too much to drink I have a story I can share. Like Solomon said, I don't think I can top the naked drummer but here goes.

When I was a youngster it was customary for the family to get together on all the holidays and put down a few. Back then it was considered normal behavior to just get plastered and go about your business.

Every time we were leaving my aunt would help my mother out to the car because she was so loaded she could barely even walk.

My brothers and I still joke about it because it seems so wrong by todays standards of behavior.

Oh, I'm not done yet. My aunt would be helping my mother into the car and I can remember a few times my mother could hardly hold her head up and she would be slurring her words. My aunt would be asking her "Now are you sure you're ok to drive home?" And my mother would be in a complete drunken stuper, and she would always say "Of course I'm ok to drive home, what are you worried about?" And when she said this you had to really try hard to make out what she was even saying because she could hardly even talk.

Then we would take off and we all had this pact, whoever was sitting next to her would steer the car and be ready to brake if mom lost consiousness.

This is how much times have changed. This would have been in the early 70's, and one time we got pulled over when mom was in one of these vegetative states. We were about six blocks from the house and the cop just shook his head and told my mother to be careful and he would follow us home to make sure we made it safely.

Just a little different than what would happen today if somebody was pulled over completely effed up and with the kids all in the car.

CareyCarey said...

wow! On my mothers side, they were religous folks (no drinking no smoking, but grandpa drank). Anyway, these stories are great. I'll have to see how I can fit them in.

Does anyone have any food stories? "who made the potatoe salad"

How about how someone was dressed or the car they arrived in?

Can anyone share a juicy gossip about another family member. "you know that middle child is not her husbands"

Oh, what about a family member doing an embarrassing dance.

Keep them coming. My brain is working overtime but I'm loving it.

The food that everyone knew not to eat?

The smelly cousin?

Solomon said...

I've got one. About 5 years ago one of my uncles died. He was divorced and he had one daughter that was in her late twenties at the time.

My uncle was from a small town. I won't say what state, but it was real small town and it was at least 5 hours to the big city too.

My uncle was an insurance man his whole life. He sold insurance to all the folk in the small town. And for his whole career he traveled frequently to the big city for work and would be gone for many days at a time.

Well my mother told me {you're going to love this one Carey} that she was at the funeral and in walks the ex-wife. My mother and his ex-wife were close friends. Then the daughter came in. Then the place fills up with many other family members and friends.

My mother said that everyone was wondering about this small group of people that were sitting in the back of the church. See, this was a small town and everybody knew everybody else and nobody had ever seen these people before in their lives.

My mother didn't say exactly how the news got broke, but come to find out that my uncle had another name, and it wasn't bolongna.

See these people was 'butch's' wife and kids. I know, your thinking "But your uncle was divorced, so what if he had a wife and kids."

Well, the problem was that the uncle was only divorced for maybe 4 of 5 years tops. See, the family that came and said 'butch' as their kin, well, the children were all around the same age as his daughter from the wifey we all knew about.

In a nutshell, he was married and had two families for like 25+ years. If you did the math he was gone almost half the time on business, and that is when he went to the city to live with his other family. Then he had some crud that he told them about why he was going away when he left them and came home and spent the other half of his life in the small town.

And I'm not even done yet. As I said, in the small town he was the clean cut insurance guy, cleaned and shined at all times.

Get this, when he went to the big city to spend time with his other family, they were into the mess. Dude was named 'butch' and he was a gangsta! That's right, the man was a gangsta.

Two completely mirror opposite lives. Mr. Clean one wek, and bad to the bone the next.

Who can top that my brothers?

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

Good Morning Carey and family thanks for the shoutout my friend,I'll post my story later.Everyone have a great day.

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

Truth be told I don't have many family reunions to speak of that I can share,my lifestyle 20-40ish was party city 24-7.Even though both sides of my family had and still do have reunions I never attended simply because I was to stupid to understand its importance.Today I try to support our family reunions and try hard to preserve our rich family history.

Anonymous said...

Last family reunion we had started off great as they always do, seeing everybody, laughing, dancing and lots of drinking and along with drinking came some beefing. Oh yeah, i cousin this and that arguing, autie so and so cyring at the bar, uncle bean-boys wife was showing her titties to everybody...before long, but long after some more drinks were consumed all hell broke was like a the biggest dayum full moon you have ever witnessed, it was the kind of full moon that teased evil to come out to play and evil did... in a really bad way. I'm driving home only to arrive to my bruh and his wife fighting in the front yard...yep knockdown drag out fighting...get a call from my sister that my two brothers got into a fight and one of them threw the other out the car...uncle bean-boy and his wife was breaking up and the kicker, my ex was saying "i told you so...told your family was crazy".

CareyCarey said...

Man, you guys are cracking me up with these stories!

I mean, I expected a few to comment but the scope of the comments have been great.

Did someone say Uncle "Laid-back" was a ganster on the other side of town.... with another family. That's a good one.

When someone said there family drank a gallon of fight-aid, I was done. You know I have to fit that in the post.

Even Mac's reasons for not going is important.

The more people that comment, the more this post is going to breathe.

I have to figure out a way to include these stories in a post about the blog world. I am working on something that I think will fit.

You guys are working me but I asked for it and I love it.

Oh, the aunt showing her tittie WILL be in the post. *lol*