Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Albino "Tiger": Without his woody.

Can we take a deep breath on Tiger Woods. Let those that have black skin cast the first stone. I mean, do you care to test you blackness? Beware, take this test at your own risk. You might have to hand over your blackness card.

You're blacker than me if you get all these right. I fluked. I'm a white guy.

Black Intelligence Test of Cultural Homogeneity

1. A “handkerchief head” is: a. a cool cat b. a porter c. an Uncle Tom d. a hoddi e. a preacher

2. Which word is most out of place here? a. splib b. blood c. gray d. spook e. black

3. A “gas head” is a person who has a: a. fast-moving car b. stable of “lace” c. ”process” d. habit of stealing cars e. long jail record for arson

4. ”Bo Diddley” is a: a. game for children b. down-home cheap wine c. down-home singer d. new dance e. Moejoe call

5. ”Hully Gully” came from: a. East Oakland b. Fillmore c. Watts d. Harlem e. Motor City

6. Cheap chitlings (not the kind you purchase at a frozen food counter) will taste rubbery unless they are cooked long enough. How soon can you quit cooking them to eat and enjoy them? a. 45 minutes b. 2 hours c. 24 hours d. 1 week (on a low flame) e. 1 hour

7. What are the “Dixie Hummingbirds?” a. part of the KKK b. a swamp disease c. a modern gospel group d. a Mississippi Negro paramilitary group e. Deacons

8. If you throw the dice and 7 is showing on the top, what is facing down? a. 7 b. snake eyes c. boxcars d. little Joes e. 11

9. ”Jet” is: a. an East Oakland motorcycle club b. one of the gangs in “West Side Story” c. a news and gossip magazine d. a way of life for the very rich

10. T-Bone Walker got famous for playing what? a. trombone b. piano c. ”T-Flute” d. guitar e. hambone

11. ”Bird” or “Yardbird” was the “jacket” that jazz lovers from coast to coast hung on: a. Lester Young b. Peggy Lee c. Benny Goodman d. Charlie Parker e. ”Birdman of Alcatraz”

12. Hattie Mae Johnson is on the Country. She has four children and her husband is now in jail for non-support, as he was unemployed and was not able to give her any money. Her welfare check is now $286 per month. Last night she went out with the highest player in town. If she got pregnant, then nine months from now how much more will her welfare check be? a. $80 b. $2 c. $35 d. $150 e. $100

13. ”Money don’t get everything it’s true.” a. but I don’t have none and I’m so blue b. but what it don’t get I can’t use c. so make do with what you’ve got d. but I don’t know that and neither do you

14. How much does a short dog cost? a. $0.15 b. $2.00 c. $0.35 d. $0.05 e. $0.86 plus tax

15. Many people say that “Juneteenth” (June 19) should be made a legal holiday because this was the day when: a. the slaves were freed in the USA b. the slaves were freed in Texas c. the slaves were freed in Jamaica d. the slaves were freed in California e. Martin Luther King was born f. Booker T. Washington died


Btw, this test was courtesy of PPR_Scribe. She says she hates this kind of sh*t. I think Harvard was recruiting blacks and she failed the test :-).


BigmacInPittsburgh said...

Well I pass Carey,but I still want to know what day and time Tiger will finally play his "Black Card"?
I think he's finally figured out that the country club set is really not his homies.

PPR_Scribe said...

I think Harvard was recruiting blacks and she failed the test

Ha ha! Nooo, this was not the case, but yes I did "fail" the test when I was first exposed to it. I did use it as an example for a presentation in grad school, tho, so it served a purpose.

Just to make clear, the B.I.T.C.H. was developed by Black psychologist Robert Johnson (not me). I think the full test is 100 questions, so this is just a sampling. Also, Dr. Johnson was the person who coined the term "Ebonics."

uglyblackjohn said...

Was this an actual test?
By an actual university?

PPR_Scribe said...

Yikes! That is what I guess for commenting while listening to music. The psychologist is Robert WILLIAMS--not Johnson.

Yes, Uglyblackjohn. In the 70s, many Black psychologists, educators and others were trying to make the case that the standard IQ tests were culturally biased and this test was one outcome of those efforts.

CareyCarey said...

Excuse me PPR_Scribe, I am playing music, but did you say Robert Johnson, of Ebony fame, used this test to weed out applicants that were appying for sales positions?

Okay, and his sister, that B.I.T.C.H. coined the term "Ebonics"?

If so, that's very interesting. I'll have to pass that down to my grandchildren.

But seriously, the evolution of that test was good to know.

@ Big Mac Attach, so you passed - huh? Well, I think I got most of them right but I am lost on a few of them.... Babies momma's payment? Short dog? Hully Gully?

I believe a "gas head" is equal to a "process". We called them "kunks"

Also, in my gambling days, the words "Hully Gully" was used to describe a way of shooting(throwing) the dice. Slicksters would try to slide the dice or lock them in a combination. Hully Gully meant shake them up or bump them off the wall. We also put down strings across the gambling surface so the dice would have to trip over it.

So, someone will have to tell me the answers to all the questions.

I don't think Tiger is dumb enough to play his black card. At least OJ admitted to being black.

CareyCarey said...


uglyblackjohn said...

@ PPR_Scribe - What was the point of the tests?
To prove that one's interpretation of "knowledge" was cultural (or even regional)?

Reggie said...

Since I only knew four or five of them, I guess that makes me a white man, old Mr. Charlie himself.

I honestly don't understand why everyone seems to be giving Tiger such a hard time. It's not like he's the first man to cheat on his wife or the first man of color to have a penchant for blondes.