Sunday, September 25, 2011
Can I Have Some? I need some of that! I will be gentle.
One child grows up to be
Somebody that just loves to learn
Another child grows up to be
Somebody we just love to burn
"Carey, what I've been learning on blogs like yours and Kit's is that people benefit from us sharing that hard stuff. It's not easy to share, but it makes me feel good to know other people relate and appreciate it" - Ms Ashley Smith
Why is it hard to share the hard stuff, and why do people appreciate [it]?
I have a brother that's deep in a storm. Well, he was duel addicted to crack and heroin. To some degree he still is. See, someone had this great idea to give addicts a synthetic drug that has the same narcotic effect of heroin, and thus, champion the addict as cured. Not cured but "better".
Okay, better, what does that mean?
If I give a mother of 4 children, 600 dollars, and then tell her she can sit on her fat ass and do nothing, is she better? She didn't have any money to start with, so is she better? Better at what, better how?!
In the case of my brother, lets talk about the real thang. Now that he's getting his "approved" drug from an "approved" dealer, is he really better? Better at what, better how?!
Now he HAS to take a drug that is 10 times stronger than heroin (Every day of rest of his life). And regardless of what the drug company says, I am here to tell you that his new drug is an opiate, just like heroin. It's users nod, scratch, and medicate their souls. In short, they get high high high, and don't let nobody tell you differently. The drug is called Methadone. We call it Gorilla Juice. If a person had a monkey on their back, once they start taking Methadone, they then have a gray back gorilla on their ass. I've been through a storm but I've never taken Methadone. Well, not legally.
My brother is better, but he is still the same immature person that he's always been. He's insecure and afraid of his emotion. If you ask him, he would tell you he wasn't really an addict. He conveniently forgets that he's the same person that literally sold the shoes off his feet to get high. He forgets that he's the same person that sold all his families Christmas gift - to get high. He conveniently forgets that day a man knocked on his door to take possession of his wife's car that he sold to a dope dealer - without her consent and/or knowledge. He once told our mother that he had cancer, so he could bilk her out of her money. Yep, he's still basically the same guy, but now he's drinking Methadone. I've come to believe it allows him to stay in his comfort zone. No growth can be found while living with a child's mind.
When I question him on why he consistently runs from the hard "stuff" - like growing up, and being a responsible man - he says he's not ready for that. He said he has to wait until his new drug settles in to hold him down. He's been waiting for 3 years! Yet, ever morning he gets up, leaves his home and drives several miles to sign in for his legalized fix. The begging question is... WHY? Why are we all of afraid of the hard stuff?
A women that I see on a regular basis has a daughter that's a lesbian. Upon first hearing about her daughter, she was hurt. She didn't know anything about lesbians. She only knew what others said about them. Of course, much of what she heard was rooted in ignorance. She thought she had done something wrong. Yet, through a little pain, knowledge and a lot of prayer, she's now very comfortable with her daughter's lifestyle. In fact, her daughter, that once was married to a man, is soon to be married to a woman. And check this, they got my dumb ass up in the wedding. Yep, not only am I in the wedding, I'm the MC at the reception. It's a family affair.
The hard stuff: Why is it so hard to let it go?
Mom loves the both of them
You see it's in the blood
Both kids are good to mom
blood's thicker than the mud, it's a family affair
You can't leave 'cause your heart is there
Sure you can't stay 'cause you been somewhere else
You can't cry 'cause you'll look broke down
But you're cryin anyway 'cause you're all broke down
It's A Family Affair - Sly Stone
I need some love. Can I get some of that? I don't mind the hard stuff. What about you?
Well, the questions and answers to this post can be found in the comment section. Yes sir, there's a few fights going on. Join in if you don't mind the hard stuff.