Monday, January 3, 2011


"Spare me ol' Rum Dummy. I just want a little nip so I can fall down and bust my lip"

Pimpin' Jack Daniels: Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum. I smell the blood of an ignorant one. Be he red, or be he dead, I’ll grind your bones to get my bread. Money that is. Money... my stupid honey.

My remixed phrase clearly makes use of the archaic word "fie", used to express disapproval. The word is used repeatedly in Shakespeare's works, King Lear himself shouting, "Fie, fie, fie! pah, pah!" and the character of Mark Antony (in Antony and Cleopatra) simply exclaiming "O fie, fie, fie!" Such conjectures largely indicate that the phrase is of imitative origin, rooted in the sounds of flustering and anger. Now follow me on my metaphorical journey as I trace the evil ways of a substance called alcohol.

In the children story Jack and The Bean Stalk, the  giant, Thunderdell, and his friend Pimpin' Jack Daniels ( an alcohol, you know), must have been pissed off when they spoke those words. But, I don't know why they would harbor such disdain? They have the best hand. They are big and strong, and have plenty of money, so I wonder why their panties are in a bunch?

But look at the people in that picture, they're scared of that Nigga. Wait, stop it, so I said Nigga? Move around, or get another drink. And spare me the "OMG, he said Nigger". Read along, or leave me alone, but spare me the drama. Besides, we all know some negros love to ply other folks with alcohol and then pimp the sh*t out of them. And, pimpin' ain't easy but it pays real good.

Maybe that's why the villagers are so afraid of that Bean Stalker and Pimpin' Jack Black? I mean, the people have no real defense against them. Nor can they run from the hold of the drug called alcohol. They love him and all their friends are in the same boat, so maybe that's what's going on? I mean, if everyone is doing it, it must be right - right? But why are the monsters so mad?

Maybe everyone knows that a person can die from alcohol withdrawal and it seldom happens from opiate withdrawal. You know, opiates like Tylenol 3's, percadan, percacet, heroin and some cough medications. You know, they all come from the same poppy plant, and they all are a drug, just like alcohol.

But lets go back. Back in the day of the Civil War, Heroin came alive (was invented) and was prescribed for morphine addiction. Thousands of soldiers were addicted to the drug because it was given to them to ease their gun shot pain. Yep, the makers of that new drug was the BAYER aspirin company. A group of German fellows came up with that great idea, and the beat goes on. People got hooked on a substitute (remedy), that was nothing more than a bigger monster. What's alcohol used for?

WHAT?! Alcohol is a drug?

Yes, it is nothing more than a drug called alcohol and it kills more people and causes more destruction than all the other drugs combined.

Goddamn, don't look now, but here he comes again!

"Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum. I smell the blood of an ignorant one. Be he red, or be he dead, I’ll grind your bones to get my bread. Money that is. Money... my stupid honey."

Feet don't fail me now, says the average consumer. I got two women looking at me and I got a little mo drinkin to do. I'll stop tomorrow.

Po Black Sambo. He is just like those people in the opening picture. He is gonna cringe in fear, but he's gonna step and fetch, and get his groove on. He's gonna drink more wine and jive and bullsh*t, because it makes him feel real good, temporarily. Hey, alcohol is not as bad as those other drugs and everybody loves to party, right? Wrong! Alcohol has no medical use. It's sole purpose is to leave a human in a state confusion and impending doom. It kills 100 times more people than all the illegal drugs combined. But jack be nibble, and jack be quick, cuz Mr Charlie, alcohol that is, still has that whoopin stick.

Yep, fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood of ignorant ones.  Slaves forever more!