Friday, July 16, 2010


A Post "Bend over and take it from a man" is my most popular selection. I mean, it gets more reads via google searches, than any of my other scribblings. That does not surprise me, but it inspired this post.
When I was a kid, my father gave me and my brothers our spankings by having us lay across his lap. If we did something wrong, one by one, we marched up, strip down to our underwear, and laid across his lap while he gave us our punishment and his message. He used an old cut-up pair of house slippers as his tool (learning board). At that time, we thought our father was a huge man, but he was only 5' 10'' and he wore a size 8 shoe. His slippers were too old and flimsy to have any real sting. Nevertheless, as we stood in line, we all cried as if we were headed to the guillotine. Looking back, I don't know if our tears were in anticipation of the pain of his paddle, or the pain of his words? I do know that he was trying to drive home a message and it generally worked. The right words, given at the right time, are very powerful.
When I wrote the title to the post "BEND OVER AND TAKE IT FROM A MAN", had no idea that some folks would read that as a sexual reference, but, they do. However, that post was about the need for women to seek advice from men.

When I look around at all the flamboyant deceiver selling dreams, wishes and all sorts of useless products, I often wonder what's the lure?

How can an old wrinkle white man, with a bad wig and painted on mustache, convince some folks to send  him their money, upon receiving a sales pitch that God will bless them when their money finds it's way in his pocket?

How are some black women convinced into buying white skin care products that promises soft skin through a special moisturizing process, when we all know that moisture is not the key?

I believe I know why sex sells. Can we talk about sex?

Nawl, I don't want to talk about sex, but I wonder why some folks clicked on this post? I mean, I wonder if it was the words "none of this a$$ are you gonna get in"? Well, maybe I do understand, but lets move forward.

When I see all the fakes and lies and porous opinions I see on TV and other information sources, I wonder how, and why people gravitate to that mess? More importantly, why is the truth the hardest sell?
Ut oh, I done messed up now. Some folks are going to have to go deep to answer that question, and who likes todo that deep soul searching kind of thinking? But don't stab me, or call me a fool, just walk with me. We are going to find a little gold.

Well, I've always said this is a personal blog, so I have to explain how this post applies to me. So, when I was in some of my darkest moments, I sought help. I was hurting and I was looking for answers. Yet, when I looked around at all the other people that were just like me, and we all were falling down, in spite of our best efforts, I knew we were all being sucker punched. We all were very susceptible to a variety of slick talkers and fast walkers. We were easy targets for the neatly dressed charlatans. We wanted our pain to stop and we were vulnerable.

They said they had the cure; all the things to ease our ills, but we had to keep coming back. However, they wasn't trying to cure us (because they couldn't), they just wanted us to keep coming back. And bring our money with us..

Isn't my story and your story very similar. Don't we make our worst decisions while we're in pain and while we are suffering? Don't we want our confusions and frustrations to stop, and consequently reach for a cure? Yep, sometimes we look in all the wrong places.

It hurts to admit that we can be gullible fools and easy marks. Yet, when we own that mistake, it has no power over us, which allows us to move on.

Sometimes we look for any kind of spiel, or pill or pimp or punk or product, to take away the discomforts of our lives. But sadly, the truth is the hardest sell.

I leave you on a good note.

by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


2cute4u said...

Carey, Loved the post.. when I first ssw the 'bend down and take it from a man' I actually thought it was sex! Yeah cause that's same names they use.. Wonder why you chose that.. It's catchy and the world tends to respond faster to sex.
Love Maya's poem; she's exceptional, that woman is.. It totally appealed to me.

CareyCarey said...

Hi Miss cutie,

Yes, I agree. Sex is cathy, and fast and then it's over. It is sometimes used as a temporary solution to all our ills.

I never know if people catch the themes of my posts, because admittedly, they are not for everyone, and they are not written in the "normal" tone of other bloggers. So I am pleased that you stopped by to add a comment.

Generally, posts like this one, do not inspire comments. Negativity gets most of the AMENS.

Oh, I don't know if you ever read the post "bend over" but you are not alone with your first thoughts. Other people said the same thing in their comment. Plus, almost every day, someone hits that post, and I can assume they all are not looking for wisdom.

Geebee said...

Nice post. Pretty unpredictable and thrilling. I love your writing style. Hope to explore more of your blog in future.

jjbrock said...

Carey good question: what's the lure of people selling dreams, wishes and all sorts of useless products? I don't no! But I'm guilty and responsible for helping a lot of them become rich.

At one time I was going to all of Jake's conferences in Atlanta Ga...And I would spent plenty money on books,dvd,cd,cassette,etc...Ask me what the lure was back then and I wouldn't/couldn't tell you.

Maxine Beneba Clarke said...

That poem is one of my all-time favourites. Every teenage daughter should be presented with a frames copy for thwir wall.

CareyCarey said...

@ jjbrock, hello Ann, I asked that question because I've had to ask myself that same question. Well, specifically, why I do the things I do. That requires me to look inside and find the truth. It also requires me to be brutally honest with myself,because nobody is going to fix my problems. The journey brings a substantial amount of pain. But in the end, if I am truly honest with myself, I can live by my new motto, What About A Time Called Now.

I didn't want to engage in your Miss W. Bynum post because I really don't know what motivates her. If I engaged in that conversation, I would only be voicing assumptions. Today I try to live by facts.

@ Maxine, hello my poet friend. Yep, one can't go wrong with Maya Angelou. Like you, I believe many of our black writers should be required reading. But, you knew that because you read my post on Gil Scott Heron.

@ GeeGee, well young man, I left you a very long comment at your blog. I hope you found it just as interesting as this post. Come on back and drop a little of that Nigerian wisdom on me. But please, no soccer talk :-)

I just can't understand a bunch of guys running around in circle without a ball in their hands. And, the game might end in a draw. That's just not right.