Wednesday, August 4, 2010


I am in a pensive mood this evening. The pastor was young, and because of that, I am trying not to point an accusatory finger, however I wonder what propelled him to drop his guard in all the wrong places. In order to do this correctly, I have to look back on my own life to see how I arrived at some of my defining moments.

In every life, there comes a moment or two when the man stands exposed for what he really is. It may be a climatic instant when he's faced with a foreboding task, when an awareness of his whole purpose and direction in life is revealed. Yet, that moment of understanding could come on the cusps of a white sheet that's gently being lower upon him as he lays silent on his cooling board. However, and whenever that moment happens, it reveals as nothing else can, the true measure and character of the man.

That First Kiss Of Bliss

So now little man, you're tired of grass,


When someone pretending to be your friend said,

"I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin"

Well honey, before you start fooling with me,

Let me inform you on just how it will be

For I will seduce you and make you my slave,

I've sent stronger men than you straight to the grave

You think you could never be such a disgrace

Then you'll end up addicted to the poppy seed of waste

You'll start by inhaling me one afternoon

Then you'll take me into your arms very soon.

And once I've entered deep down in your vain,

The graving will really drive you insane

You'll need lots of money... have you been told

For darling I am much more expensive than gold

You'll swindle your mother for less than a buck

You'll end up an animal, vile and corrupt

You'll rob and you'll steal for a narcotic charm

And only fell content when I'm deep in your arm

One day you'll realize the monster you've grown

Then solemnly promise to leave me alone
You'll think you have the mystical knack

But come to find out, you can't get me off your back

The vomit, the cramps, your guts in a knot,

The jangling nerves screaming for just one more shot

The hot chills, the cold sweats, the withdrawal pains,

Can only be eased by my little white grains

There is no other way, no need to look

For deep down inside you'll know that you're hooked

You'll desperately run to the pusher and then

You'll welcome me back to your veins once again

And when you return, as I have foretold,

You'll ultimately give me your body and soul

You'll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart,

And then you'll be mine, till Death do us part.

My Mother Said The Pastor Tore His Eye

The pastor tore his eye,

I wonder why, he didn't cry

He didn't die, I wondered why

If the pastor tore his eye

The pastor tore his eye

Momma said the girl was sly

I still wondered why

The pastor didn't cry

Momma didn't whisper but she heard some things

The pastor and the girl had a little fling

Flings and things, my oh my

But I still wondered why, the pastor didn't cry, if he tore his eye

Come to find out, she was a young tender thing

He was married, she wasn't wearing his ring

"HIDE-AWAY HOTEL" someone yelled


The pastor didn't cry, now I understand why

He didn't tear his eye

He was living a lie

One he tried to deny

The pastor was young and so was she,

He was thirty three,

She, more like

Thirteen plus 3

She didn't lie

Her momma said don't cry,

You can't deny
That baby inside

The pastor was young. He looked in the wrong place. I wonder why?


I said I cried last night, didn't say I died last night. Came through the storm, was alright last night. I cried tears of joy. I wanted to be with them, not in them. A longing for their presence. Had a hole, a role, could have filled it with another star but the part was made for them. Others could have pulled it off, everybody would have been paid but that part would have been missing... THEM

Who said it, I didn't. I said I left, to many nights filled with images of them. To many vows broken, the pain, had nothing left in my heart, nothing but disdain for them. What did you read... the paper said divorced (cut away from), not used, not someones unwanted item to be taken for granted and taken to the resale shop. It said divorced , not nearly new, should say new.

Does it say I am not whole, is there an asterisk saying I am missing parts? Where did it say I was void of love, compassion, hopes and dreams. Does divorce strip a man of his manhood? Does divorce imply that a women is love-less, where does it say nuclear waste? I fell down (made some mistakes), rolled around, I got up, that road is behind me. My road is in front of me. Read it again, did it say I was a toy to be played with, did it say spin this, use this, anyone can do THIS!?

Divorced, read it one more time, I doubt it... I doubt it said without principles and absent of love. Newness and strong bold convictions are not the sole possessions of newlyweds. If you think so, you got me twisted... convoluted. You got me... misunderstood!


I've had a few defining moments, many were in the above poems.


D.Freeman said...

"In every life, there comes a moment or two when the man stands exposed for what he really is" Did we go into poetry slam now... and it was alright and I don't like the arts at all...

You can always tell what a man is about by what he admits and what he hides. If he hides nothing then you are looking at a man and if he hides everything you are looking at a aspect of a man.

Most people champion a aspect of their manhood whether that be women, toughness, hustle or whatever.

CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Hey Carey! Don't ya love the defining moments? Although they're not always easy to deal with, the ability to recognize them (and make corrections if needed) is a gift.

These words perfectly sum up the what ails the world as a whole... "without principles and absent of love".

CareyCarey said...

Mad Money Freeman, it's so nice that you've taken a break from the grind to visit my humble abode.

So you're not to taken by the art. Well, it has it's place. I agree with your middle paragraph, but I don't quite understand the last one.

Hey Miss Curvy! Yep, without principles and absent of love... WHOA!

And, as usually you caught a subtext of this piece... "and make corrections if needed". That is the beauty of defining moments. A person can run from them or learn from them. YES YES YES, it's not easy. Acceptance and HONESTY has to lead the way.