Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I don't understand. I mean, some debates are never ending stories. Take for instance the debates on what constitutes a good movie, a bad movie, a quality movie or an important movie, where is the scratch line? Not to mention the never-ending debate over the N-word. And, what's in a good book?

I know some people just loves to argue, but some of those debates are like pissing in the wind and stepping in mud. The results are going to leave some type of ugly stain.

Look, I love a good conversation, but I wish there was a polite way to back out of a conversation, or ignore a conversation when someone tries to engage me in discourse that I know is going nowhere.

Well, I've sort of found a way in which we all can bow out gracefully. In our culture, there's a phrase, "playing the nut-role". It's understood to mean feigning ignorance. Now, if we are going to pretend that we don't know WTH a person is talking about, because people speak in all types of languages and codes, we need a hold card. So, instead of shaking our heads in a "I don't know what you're talking about" way, I think flash cards can do the trick.

When a person says some mess that you do not want to talk about, you just flash a card that says....

Spanish: No entiendo

German: Ich verstiendo

Africaans: Ek verstaan nie

French: Je ne comprends pas

Italian: Non capisco

Hatian Creole: Mwen pa konprann

Japanesees: 私は理解していない
Thai: ฉันไม่เข้าใจ

Which all mean, I do not understand

However, there will be the persistent sorts. Then it's on to plan "B". The second card.

French: s'en alien voler, neme derange pas

Spanish: desaparecen de ventanas, no me molesta

German: negfliegen, storen mich nicht

Latin: abire fugientem noli mihi molestus

Which means, Go away fly, don't bother me

By now it's either fight or flight. The "conversation" continues. The talking head debaters strike first.

German: Heck mich am arsch

Irish: pog mo thion

Spanish: besame el culo
Which means (in all languages): Kiss my ass.

The Negro Buster reponds with: Oh yeah, so you want me to kiss your ass, huh? Here's what you can do... Ellwa upidsta, ouya anca itsa ona ita! (*wink* anybody know pig latin?)

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, debate busting 101. Try it, but don't tell anybody I told you so. I just wish I could watch a movie without someone telling me about an alledged evil message within the movie. I want to laugh my butt off without someone saying it's coonery. I don't want to worry about rather or not a movie is important, or if it will be significant in the next 20 years.

And, if I want to say nigga, negro or sambo, I surely don't want someone asking me for my blackness card. Beside, who's to say Shakespeare is better reading than E Lynn Harris and Walter Moseley? If someone wants to find out how Stella got her groove back, they should be able to do that without someone questioning their intelligence.

All money ain't good money, and your good may not look like mine. But in the end, I gotta dance with the lady I took to the ball. Then I'll know we will both be singing satisfied. Do your thang, do what you wanna do, I can't tell you when your basket is full.


Solomon said...

I've been "playing the nut role" for a while now Carey. I'll tell you what, when these naysayer Niggers get all up in my face trying to get me to react I just do exactly what you are coming with.

It's called 'playing' them at their own game. If some retarded negro be comin' with the stupid, this negro does what any self respecting 'nut job' would do.

I act the fool right back!

I'll tell you what Carey, I wish I would have known this trick years ago. Because it shuts them up each and every time there bro!


D.Freeman said...

My grandfather told me to just tell people that I am so concerned with my family that I haven't had the time to watch the news or don't know enough to really add on to it.

That has helped me out the most. As soon as I hear a couple of phrases like "I heard this on NPR" "Obama said this" "I'm a liberal" and "Yesterday on MSNBC" I just turn around and walk away.

CareyCarey said...

My man The Freeman, whatsup.

Yeah, I didn't want to go there. To argue with someone that got their "news" from the 10 o'clock news is a fools errand. And, if you argue with a fool, there soon will be 2 fools arguing.

Hey man, I need about a million dollar loan. I know you have a few laying around.

Solomon, be careful, there's a difference between a nut job and nut-role. One is active and one is passive. An action will always be followed by a re-action.

Moanerplicity said...

Sup Carey:

This was amusing & right on target, yo! Playing ig'nit w/ someone whose opinion doesn't matter, or whom you don't respect has saved me from episodes of boredom, contention & stress countless times, my brotha.

A wise coworker (who I actually thought was a dumb & lazy-azz mofo) once taught me a very valuable lesson: You never let a person know what YOU KNOW, or that you happen to know MORE than they give you credit for.

Now, trust, as a neophyte and a black man, I took exception to that. Being a young whippersnapper, I had this almost desperate need to flex my knowledge & exploit my skills, all in an effort to avoid being seen as dumb or inferior in any way. As a consequence, I was taken for granted & called upon to do ish I had no interest in doing. Plus, I wasn't compensated for it!

I've since learned that coworker was absolutely right. You can avoid a whole lotta madness & the mind-numbing minutiae of life by feigning to be somewhat... ummm... intellectually-challenged.

Works like a charm!


CareyCarey said...

Moan, first, I have to ask if you understood that pig latin? My mother and her sisters used that "language" when they "thought" we didn't know what they were saying.

Your co-worker reminds me of an old player that told me, if everyone knows what you are doing and thinking, you're not doing something right.

Yelp, feigning to be somewhat uummm ummm... intellectually-challenged, is a great way to be the... uummm... spook that sat by the door.

And, of course I have a little story. I had this white co-worker(older redneck racist) that told me the company probably lowered their standards/requirements to get me in the company. He knew nothing of my past education because I never shared that with him. Also, while around him, I spoke in a vernacular that was comfortable to him.

Moanerplicity said...

Yup, Carey. I do understand Pig-Latin. My brother & I spoke it around our parents also. He, being younger & crazier, was much mo proficient & a lot quicker at it than I was. However, seeing it WRITTEN out as you did here, it took me a while to figure out what was being communicated. Upon 1st glance I was like: WTH?!? (thought I was having a stroke, yo! lol). Apparently it's become a lost art for me, simply b/c I haven't used it or practiced it in a minute.

Bless up!


CareyCarey said...

Ka oyah, my brother *smile*

Anna Renee said...

Playing the nut role! This is mad genius for those who practice it.

I practice it with white coworkers at the job.
I blog at work and I know my coworker slyly glances at the https:// line of my computer screen to see what I'm reading about.
I'm like OK, whatever.
One day, I'm reading some anti-American stuff, looking at a picture of a soldier, and he not knowing my position on it decides to try to find out.
So he goes--It's F'd up how America went over there and is killing those people, ain't it? Assuming that's my position.

I go into Nut job mode--"Oh, it's terrible how this young American soldier has lost his LIFE!!
White co-worker was floored by my response, thinking I was gonna go off on America, Jeremiah Wright style!! He was stuttering and almost upset at my answer!!
I chuckled heartily on the inside! I don't share my political views with white coworkers!
Learned my lesson during the OJ Simpson era.

We used to speak the Pig Latin back in the day and curse in Spanish too! "Besame culo!" I haven't heard that one in 40 years, Carey!

CareyCarey said...

"We used to speak the Pig Latin back in the day and curse in Spanish too! "Besame culo!" I haven't heard that one in 40 years, Carey!"

And Anne, it still sounds nasty, don't it? *smile*

Even the German words has a nasty twang to them... German: Heck mich am arsch.

Yicks, if I didn't know what they were saying, I'd still know they were not offering me Ice Cream.

Oh, I bet your co-worker found a new respect for you? Or at least he approached you with caution.

Anonymous said...

I agree , whole heartedly. It's a shame those same people that love to argue or you know their conversation is going no where, just don't get it, you can tell almost immediately, that they've been SOS - "Stuck on Stupid", for awhile. so it's just easier, to pretend you don't know or as you said, use a visual aid (flash cards). I got this T-shirt that says, it all for me "If you have something to say, raise your hand and place it over your mouth."