It's Crow-eatin' time.
Based on the above title, it's probably obvious that a boo-boo has raised it's ugly head. Carey, my grandson, told a lie.
If you have not been following along, I have a short recap. Last week, my grandson, who is six years old, informed the family that his teacher said Santa Claus didn't exist. Well, for various reasons, that did not hit the feel-good part of my brain. So, I sent off a harsh letter to his teacher and the school's superintendent.
Now, as the world turns, it's time for me to jack-up my slacks and see what went wrong. But first, an apology was in order. Since I am not a writer, more so a storyteller, I reached out to a blog friend to help me compose a letter that would convey my true feelings without sounding negro-notorious. The letter follows
Hello Ms [Teacher}
As you know, Carey told a lie. His actions were not the act of a future psychopath-in-training, children lie. The smaller, the younger they are, it has to be accepted as a natural part of childhood. Unfortunately, I made my move to soon. It should be understood that it's not so unusual nor unusual for the bigheads to fib.
Consequently, I return to you with a heavy heart. I must ask of you, in my most humble request that you please to accept my apology for the letter I previously sent to you. It was written in both anger and disappointment upon the news, given to me by my grandson, that his teacher TOLD him there was no Santa Claus. It was only upon further investigation that I've since learned the child blatantly reported an untruth to us. This, in itself, is a cause for concern, as he has been taught to NEVER tell a lie. And, yet, he did. It's quite possible, that, as children do, he may have heard other kids speaking of Santa Claus, questioning the validity, or even debunking the reality of such a beloved childhood icon, and then he came way believing it to be a myth. Had he only came to us with his questions, as opposed to assigning the blame to you, or any teacher, or adult charged with the supervision and guidance of young minds, then the events that followed would have never transpired. For this, again, I offer my heartfelt apology.
Carey xxxxx, aka, Carey Bailey's grandfather
Well folks, when I first received the news of Lil Carey's misdeed, I was floored. I immediately thought of the poor teacher I had scandalized and if I should've, could've, moved in a different direction?
Having reached out to many of my friends, including "you", my blog readers, who stopped their world before and after the incident, asking for words of advice and wisdom, I am left to wonder, what about a time called now? What's the words for today? Are there any serendipitous rewards on the table? The following was a response.
Carey, you may be over-thinking this, man. Consider the kid's age. Surely people in the education field KNOW this. If he's not someone they see as 'troubled' or has a history of bad behaviors, then it's unlikely that they'll over-react. A show of parental & family concern is more desirable than indifferent, absentee parents & loved ones who don't give a damn & never get involved in a child's schooling. I think it reflects better upon you that you CARED enough to send the letter. The tricky part is this wasn't an incident that happened IN the classroom, so it's not like the teacher can punish him, or take him aside & read him the riot act.
Yes, there's a chance this teacher can become less involved w/your grandson's day to day activities, and less trusting of him. But, you know what? If that proves to be the case, then it would be good to KNOW this now, because then this isn't much a teacher anyway. They are are supposed to be accepting of the ways, imperfections & the issues of those under their tutledge.
Meanwhile, if this remains a real concern of yours, then I would personally request a face to face meeting w/ said teacher. Again, this would demonstrate your love and concern for the child, along with providing you an eye-witness account to gage the attitude of the teacher.
I believe the above is good advice.
Okay, this is where I am at today. I have a hard line position on lying and liars.
Who desires to wear the name, Liar? I will assume that many individuals hate and abhor liars, and consequently, they do not want to be classified as one. Yet, has it become convenient, and accepted behavior, to lie for what some believe to be good intentions?
But wait, first, does everyone lie? I asked that question in another post, and most respondents replied in the affirmative. Well, I was the dissenting voice. I know it's a fact that everyone does not lie.
"Come on Carey, everybody lies".
Nope, that's not true. Besides, how can you prove that? I mean, what compels someone to state something as a fact when it's only their assumption?
Anyway, deceit, in any fashion is the wrecking ball to most relationships. And, in my opinion, it leaves doubt and fear and unrepairable mistrust. The only thing that can support a lie... is another lie. I do not wish to look over my shoulder.
Look, it's a fact that people lie for several reasons. Big or small, short are tall, people lie. A little white lie or a lie by omission, is nevertheless a lie. People are quick to say they lied to protect someones feelings, but in truth, they lied to protect their own feelings. They didn't desire to hear or feel the assumed response, which may have moved them to a very uncomfortable state. Let that simmer.
In the mean-time, I think there are many reasons why some believe there are legitimate reasons one should lie. And, there are many ways to misrepresent the truth. Part of the problem is not everyone agrees with the definition of lying. Yet, facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored or misunderstood. I am sure some believe there are harmless lies. A little white lie, for example, is considered by many to be a harmless fib that is meant to be tactful and polite.
I have a few ideas why some individuals believe it's okay to fib, or even believes there are times a person should lie. Yet, how big is the shade of truth before it's considered a bare face lie. I mean, who makes the call? If it's left up to the individual, lord knows there's a myriad rationalizations and reasons why many think lying is okay. Check this: It's interesting to note that the Fifth Amendment allows someone to refuse comment if such testimony will incriminate him or her.Well, that's lying by omission - or is it? Well, at the very least, it's passive deceit because a person is withholding information or not volunteering the truth. Well, that begs the question... is deceit as harmful as a lie? Well, one time, I had to call "love TKO" because
the deceit and subsequent mistrust that followed, was killing me, just as if someone was kicking me in my ass.
What about a time called now?
Is it okay to lie?
Did I over-react?
Have you experienced a situation in which a child's lie had you scrambling for cover and/or answers?