Saturday, December 4, 2010

Are We All Preaching To The Choir and Knee-Jerks?

This is not a BOOTY CALL. And, It's surely not one of a thousand new wave presentation of facts and fallacies, nor utterances of shiny gift wrapped bull sh*t. So, if you are an under-informed, self-congratulating pseudo intellectual, who loves the intoxicating smells of mess and ambiguity...

**I am laughing because I thought that picture was such a cute way to say what I could not find the words to express **

Now, if you're still here, the blogger
Black Diaspora said... : "One thing I've learned: The "Big Picture" is always bigger than our imaginations, and the whys and wherefores more profound than our guesses"

I looked at those words and said, "wow, that's deep".

On the surface, his words wouldn't appear to a great mind exploding thought, yet, for me, they were, and they were great words of encouragement. And, I'll tell you why.

Well, in reference to the question "Are we all preaching to the choir and knee-jerks?" I have to say, for the most part, we are. But don't cry for me because I am not crying in my beer (today), I'm looking for solutions. You know, I've often told people to look behind me to see if there's any garbage back there because I am not looking back. I am looking for answers. So following me and maybe will both find a little enlightenment. But be forewarned, the odds are against "US".

Really, how does one change the mind of another person? Doesn't everyone have an agenda - conscience or not?

If that question "how do you change an other's mind" is not addressed and understood, the choir may well be the only listeners. Here's another thought: Can a person change the mind of another? If so, what are all the necessary elements for that process to take place?

I think we all have opinions and ideas that we live by, and in most cases, even if those opinions are dead wrong - or we cannot support them with any concrete evidence - I think it's safe to say we will protect those concepts/ideas with all our heart and soul. It's just an enate human nature to desire the feeling of "right". Consequently, it's my belief that anything that runs contrary to that feeling, is not welcomed and surely not rewarded.

But let me finish because I wholeheartedly believe that we - bloggers - are for the most part, preaching to a very small crowd. Hence, "the choir". Generally it's those that argree with our expressed sentiments that are really looking and listening for wisdom, not those that disagree. Think about that as we continue.

I am going to end this piece by saying a little something I've said before in this post HERE: And then follow with a response from that post. And then we'll see if any of my words rang true.

Here it goes, I said:

"Several years ago, when I first started participating in Internet discussions, I was lost. I had a distorted image of happiness. Well, maybe not lost, but certainly adrift. I am reminded of those guys in the movies, you know, the starving castaway on a makeshift raft, peering over the tops of waves, looking for land, and just living on hope. Yet, somewhere deep inside, I could not give up.

Today I have a motto “What About A Time Called Now”. It’s here and now, in the moments of creating and expressing my thoughts, where I feel the most at ease and confident. In many ways, it’s always felt just right, and it’s always brought me a rush of emotions, most of them the best I ve ever known.

Now the downside of it is, there’s always some jerk who stands in judgment of what you do. The harshest criticism always seems to come from those that truly have no idea what you’re doing, and truly has no gift of their own. And are just plain pissed off that you’re happy and happily plying your craft. That is of course, if you’re making the world a little more ugly, then that type of personality, will gladly hold your hand and dance through the stankin muck filled sewer, proclaiming that you, just like they, see only how awful it all is, but take pleasure in the celebration of it. But somewhere along my journey, I came to understand that any D- minus person can see how terrible things are. That did not take any skills"

Here's a couple of response - from that post - for your consideration.

LoudPen said...
"Excellent post! Carey why is it that we write similar posts (about haters/ignorant folks) and yours comes off as spoken with love and mine comes off as angry? Me? I write best when upset...which is sometimes my downfall. I guess that's when I feel the hardest. It's hard for me to describe my happiness, I can talk about what makes me happy but I can't talk about how happiness makes me feel. Maybe I need to work on that. I know this is all unrelated to your post so my bad. Anyway, I just wanted to say that you need to keep on writing, keep on blogging"

BigmacInPittsburgh said...
"Ok now you are making me mad,here you are wasting precious time and energy trying to placate zeros,I truly believe Carey there are some people on this planet who are not worth understanding,my time is too precious to care"

So, in short, my questions remain: Are we all preaching to the choir? And, if not, how do we change the mind of another person?

Hey, it's also highly possible that nobody agrees with anything I've said?


Solomon said...

I liked this message when you first wrote it and I like still like it now.

I know when I write about how I am feeling, well, I am writing about how I am feeling. I am pretty good at articulating how I feel and getting my point across.

I will be the first one raising my hand if somebody asked a group of folks if they understand it is impossible to control others. That is "dealing with people (pre-req)"

That is such a basic fact when dealing with others that it should be burned into your brain long before taking "dealing with people 101".

I never write with the purpose of giving it everything I have to try see things my way. Especially concerning personal issues or issues that have already been addressed in the past.

All I can do if I feel somebody might want to change things up a little is state my case on how I feel, and how I see things and hope they understand me and the reasons I may be acting a certain way, or why maybe I feel like there is a double standard, or maybe a fairness issue that I think is so skewed in the other persons favor that I just cannot sit and not address the issues.

For me it is about getting things off my chest so everything is out in the open. If I do not get things that are bothering me off my chest and I am already having a hard time dealing with the issue, well then we all know what happens next.

I love to classify this as "festering issues" that could easily turn into festering resentments, and then into anger, and unwanted pain that is just so unnecessary I can't even imagine that festering feeling inside of me today.

Most people that have been around me and heard me bring up anything really understand that I will not even say one word about a topic unless I have tons of ammunition and and a rock solid case that basically there is no way for the other side to dig in and turn it around and make it seem like I do not know what I am talking about so they can shut me down.

If I am addressing something, I have a real issue that needs to be addressed to help me stay clear headed and not loose focus.

CareyCarey said...

Great points Solomon. After I wrote this post, I realized that I wasn't completely clear in what I was trying to say, or at least I lumped all bloggers in one category.

I should have defined the bloggers in which I was referencing, to those that give their "opinions" in a way to move a messages on political issues, religious issues, moral issues, self-help issues, relationship issues, drug and alcohol issues, movie and book issues, etc. You know, all the issues in which people will generally, disagree on.

Through it all, I believe the following (that you said) is very important.

You said: "I will not even say one word about a topic unless I have tons of ammunition and and a rock solid case that basically there is no way for the other side to dig in and turn it around and make it seem like I do not know what I am talking about so they can shut me down"

Yes, now you've addressed the core of this post. Having a ton ammunition to support your case is a must, however (again speaking to the post) your ammunition,as solid as it may be, will not deter some folks from only seeing it "their" way.

Tia's Real Talk said...

Our job is to continue to PREACH truth...whether they hear it or follow it is not our concern. You always make me go "hmmmm" loved it Carry!
How the heck have you been man? It's been a loooong time!!

CareyCarey said...

Hi Tia, I'm doing fine, how about you.

You are so right, we have a job to do... regardless of who's doing what.

But I opened the question because I really do desire to understand the best way to remove the guards/defenses of others. You know, for the most part, people do not want to hear our opinions... especially when it's different from theirs.

When I started writing this post, I thought of all the people I see in my church (and other churches) and the numerous opinions I see in the blogspere. Well, in reference to church, as you know, the word is "right" but few really change their ways. They talk good, but their walk tells the real story.

And seldom do I see opinions change in the blogsphere. Never have I seen a blogger reply that they were completely wrong.

Just something to think about. And yeah, it has been awhile. I'll have to stop by and see if you've made you first million :-)

Tia's Real Talk said...

No not yet. A couple months away from a Bean though. :-)

BigmacInPittsburgh said...

All I'll say is you can take a horse to the water,but you can't make them drink it!