Who cares about a man that robbed banks to satisfy the wishes of his lover... a lover who was never satisfied? Who cares about a maddening love affair that - like a tornado - tore through their lives and the lives of their family and friends? Who really cares how a love triangle... tangled in a world of despair and lost dreams - found redemption? Although their love at times was a satisfying love, they eventually had to part ways, each carrying away a lost soul. But who wants to hear about how one of them, through the spirit of human survival and a belief in his God - found a way to relieve their soul, and thus, find a peace of mind? I can't help but believe - only a few - really want to hear how they made it to the end of their Jericho Road. You know, like that winding meandering road on the way to their Jerusalem, which was 2200 feet below sea level, started at their Jericho, which was 1100 ft above sea level. It was a very dangerous road. Treachery and trickery and faint hope, awaited all that traveled it's path. Thousands had traveled that road, yet only a few, with the conviction Job, ever made it to their destination. They, the lovers, had to develop a kind of dangerous unselfishness to find the real meaning of life.
The power of love is a curious thing, make a one man weep, make another man sing. Change a hawk to a little white dove. More than a feeling, that's the power of love. Don't take fame. Don't need no credit card to ride this train.
Whomever cares to read more, just whistle, or holler, or say whatever is on your mind. Ask questions. Until then, I'll hold mine, very close to my vest. But you have to know, in order for me to keep what I have gained by going through that struggle, I have to give it away.
Several things come to mind... I'll share a few.My ex, the one I write so much about, was addicted to heroin. At the time, I didn't have much patience for his addiction. I had a lot, maybe too much, patience for him, but not his addiction. That may not make sense, but it was true.I've since gained a deeper understanding of just what addiction is and how it functions and I have a lot more patience for it now than I did then and I wish I had been more understanding. That may read wrong -- because I don't regret being repulsed by his addiction, I just wish I could've conveyed different feelings for him instead of my repulsion for his addiction.In any case, he did what he wanted. Always.Thank you for sharing, Carey. I'm looking forward to whatever else you share.
January 30, 2011 2:01 AM
Hello Ms Smith, everything you said made absolute complete sense. I know his story and your story; you, the bewildered lover, and he, the addicted."In any case, he did what he wanted. Always"There it is. Many may not understand what I am about to say but, "HE" is the addiction. "HE" will always come first and do what it wants to do. Ashley, I am glad you showed up. By listening to your stories (about your guy) I knew what his problem was. If other folks stop in (and want to hear more), I'll share more. The purpose of me telling my story is two fold. First, I have to, so I'll never forget the horrors of my addiction. It's part of the ongoing process. Second - and the most important - the loved ones of the addicted individuals, suffers as much pain, if not more than the addicted. They are frequently lost, blaming themselves at times, because they didn't know what to do, and few places to share "their" kind of pain and story. In short, my story is not for the addicted - they know the story - it's for those on the outside.So, if nobody wants to hear the story, I'd just be preaching to the choir. Thus, I'll hold it close to my vest.Btw, I try write my stories in an interesting fashion, as not to bore the reader. So I hope I accomplish my goal.
January 30, 2011 10:08 AM
Great post Carey. I've heard your story from your own lips, but this writing here is very touching. I had a brother as well who was addicted to Heroin after leaving VietNam and he finally was able to walk away from it only to find another. I would love to hear more...Excellent.