Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Mr. CHICKEN LITTLE SAID, "The Sky Was Falling Down on May 21st, 2011"

Now, I wouldn't win a game of Jeopardy if the subject was the Bible, but I know a jack leg when I see one. And they say there's a sucker born every day.

So now I'm sitting here thinking, what kind of educated fool or babies daddies momma, would follow a man that said the sky was falling down? I know Duckey Wuckey and Loosey Goosey beleived that mess, but as the story goes, their heads were pulled off by the slick and sly Foxy Loxy. Yep, they were hanging on the wrong ass. But what puzzles me the most is that some black folks fell for the Okie Doke.

For instance, my sister in law called and told me that she loved me and started making all kinds of amends. Now I'm thinking, what does she want now. See, we've never been thick as thieves, so I immediately knew something wasn't right. She went on to tell me about this end of the world thang, which caught me waaaay off guard.

Anyway, as she continued to tell me how she was going to miss me and how much she loved me. I stopped her in mid sentence and told her that I was going to miss her too, but before she went to see her maker could she please send me all the money she owes me, since she wouldn't be needing it - in heaven.

Shiiit, she was drop dead serious and I was too, I need my money. I mean, I ain't trying to tell all my business, but if the train comes right now, I ain't going to heaven - not today - so I might have to buy my way out of hell.

But listen, black folks should know that Ol' Mr. Charlie has been bamboozling us for four centuries, and apparently, he has done a pretty good job, and he's still up to his old tricks.

But wait a minute, if I am not mistaken, didn't the Bible say something about no one knows the day or hour... "concerning that day and hour, no one knows --- neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son --- except the Father only", and his body was like beryl, and his arms and his feet like colour to polished brass. Good googa moogum, this new son of lords, spreading his new Revelations, is an old wrinkled white man with loads of money. That doesn't sound like a man that was born in a manger, who wore dusty sandals.

Come on now, I ain't the smartest man, and I ain't Moses, but I wouldn't follow that man to a dog fight. Seriously, what special kind of fool or wayward huckleberry, would sell all their earthly possessions, stop playing the lottery, and run outside butt naked, waiting for that train to Jordan?

Hey, my sister-in-law hasn't called today, so who knows, maybe she did get swooped up by the mothership. I wonder if Bootsy Collins is on there? Damn, I wish she would have sent me my money. I wonder if I can call her long distance and ask her if she left my loot in a cookie jar, or if it's in the mail?

Nevertheless, the fat lady has not sang - it's 10 am, and God might be on "CP" time - so maybe I have enough time to get a little more of my groove on. I mean, my 2 brothers, my son and my sister are coming over to watch the game tonight, so I gotta be standing strong to met them at my door. And beside the fact that I am frying catfish, whole and fillet, with spaghetti on the side, and my lady made a lemon cake, one of my brothers and my sister don't get along one bit. And my other brother has been known to drink a little too much, so I gotta be around to cook the food, breakup a possible fight between my oldest brother and my baby sister, and the drunk that might step in to rescue her.

Oh happy day, what a night it's gonna be. Well, that is, if my fire and brimstone does not get here before 6:00PM cp time.


♥ CG ♥ said...

ROFL! Maybe it'll be his time, huh? I'm no Bible scholar but paying attention to this dude would be a waste of my time, great entertainment value though.

Keith said...

ROTFLMBAO...Man, you are hillarious!
but on point as usual!

La♥audiobooks said...

I agree with CG, entertainment for sure. And I can't wait to see what explanation they will come up with on Sunday afternoon/night eastern central time.

(Why do people set themselves up to be such jokes. They spent more money on this foolishness than they would ever make after the flop.)

CareyCarey said...

Lookie here, the old school gang is here along with a friend from Field Negro's spot, La*audiobooks.

First @ Miss Curvy, yeah, paying attention to that dude is like pickin' in ones butt looking for gold. But at least I got a chance to hear your voice again. I see you're still hangin' in there. No Mr Right yet? But I shouldn't talk, it's been a while since I've graced your Maryland shores - hasn't it?

Speaking of Mr Right and hangin' in there, whatsup Keith? For all that don't know it, Keith was one of my first visitors, and he's been laughing at my stuff (funny or not) for quite some time. Thanks Kieth, thanks for the support and thanks for stopping by and telling me that I still can make some people laugh, sometimes.

@ Audiobooks, this place ain't like that field over there, but I drop a thang or two, every once and awhile.

Btw, you know what they are going to say today, the "some" things they always say... "YEAH BUT".

25champ said...

Like my man Samuel Jackson said" My ass my be dumb, but I aint a dumb ass....Ppl fell for that wit the y2k bs....ppl still haven't figured out that this isn't something you should even try to predict....just get your ish 2gether and live life so when the time comes u dont have 2 b paranoid smh lls