Now, I wouldn't win a game of Jeopardy if the subject was the Bible, but I know a jack leg when I see one. And they say there's a sucker born every day.
So now I'm sitting here thinking, what kind of educated fool or babies daddies momma, would follow a man that said the sky was falling down? I know Duckey Wuckey and Loosey Goosey beleived that mess, but as the story goes, their heads were pulled off by the slick and sly Foxy Loxy. Yep, they were hanging on the wrong ass. But what puzzles me the most is that some black folks fell for the Okie Doke.
For instance, my sister in law called and told me that she loved me and started making all kinds of amends. Now I'm thinking, what does she want now. See, we've never been thick as thieves, so I immediately knew something wasn't right. She went on to tell me about this end of the world thang, which caught me waaaay off guard.
Anyway, as she continued to tell me how she was going to miss me and how much she loved me. I stopped her in mid sentence and told her that I was going to miss her too, but before she went to see her maker could she please send me all the money she owes me, since she wouldn't be needing it - in heaven.
Shiiit, she was drop dead serious and I was too, I need my money. I mean, I ain't trying to tell all my business, but if the train comes right now, I ain't going to heaven - not today - so I might have to buy my way out of hell.
But listen, black folks should know that Ol' Mr. Charlie has been bamboozling us for four centuries, and apparently, he has done a pretty good job, and he's still up to his old tricks.
Come on now, I ain't the smartest man, and I ain't Moses, but I wouldn't follow that man to a dog fight. Seriously, what special kind of fool or wayward huckleberry, would sell all their earthly possessions, stop playing the lottery, and run outside butt naked, waiting for that train to Jordan?
Hey, my sister-in-law hasn't called today, so who knows, maybe she did get swooped up by the mothership. I wonder if Bootsy Collins is on there? Damn, I wish she would have sent me my money. I wonder if I can call her long distance and ask her if she left my loot in a cookie jar, or if it's in the mail?
Nevertheless, the fat lady has not sang - it's 10 am, and God might be on "CP" time - so maybe I have enough time to get a little more of my groove on. I mean, my 2 brothers, my son and my sister are coming over to watch the game tonight, so I gotta be standing strong to met them at my door. And beside the fact that I am frying catfish, whole and fillet, with spaghetti on the side, and my lady made a lemon cake, one of my brothers and my sister don't get along one bit. And my other brother has been known to drink a little too much, so I gotta be around to cook the food, breakup a possible fight between my oldest brother and my baby sister, and the drunk that might step in to rescue her.
Oh happy day, what a night it's gonna be. Well, that is, if my fire and brimstone does not get here before 6:00PM cp time.