Monday, June 6, 2011

Thailand, Fred & Me: Who's That Knocking On My Door?

Let me start by saying I am leery of white people, okay. Now don’t take that wrong. I was raised around white people (I was born in Iowa), and I am not a racist by any stretch of imagination. Wait, does that have the same feeling/flavor/sting as a white person saying “I have black friends’? Well, all the King’s horses and all the King’s friends couldn’t put Humpty Dumpy back together again. Yeah, figure out how that relates to anything I’ve said. Nevertheless, I am gonna say it, I have white friends - not many - but I do. So, without further ado, I’d like to introduce my next victim blog friend who has been knocking on my door, and he’s a white guy, Fred C.

“Carey, why did you have to tell us he’s a white guy?”

Now that’s a good question, so sit back and take a walk with me. Like the rest of my friends who have found themselves front and center of my blog, with a post written especially for them, Fred, like the others, stopped by this post "Play It Again Sambo, and Kiss Your Ass?"

When Fred arrived, he said the following: “(Why am I here? I'm in marriage limbo, with a view of hell, and America just got too weird and expensive for me.) With luck, the whole sordid tale will reveal itself as we go. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better”

Well, maybe Fred will get to know me a little better after I put all his business on display.

I met Fred C. over at one of my favorite political blog sites, "We Are Respectable Negroes" In fact, the site’s host, Chauncey DeVega is my favorite political analyst. My admiration for Chauncey is not rooted (necessarily) in our shared political views, but more so in the way in which he writes. His witticisms, humor, sentence structure and command of the English language is to die for. I could go on about Chauncey, but this is Fred’s party. So anyway, as political debates go, the lines of opposition are frequently drawn deep in the sand. Each side digs in, gets very entranced in their positions, and then, nobody budges. And my daddy told me not to be anybodies fool and don’t play another man’s game. So taking his advice, I generally do not get too involved in the tick-tack-patty-wack of politics. But sometimes I’ll listen on the sidelines and add a little commentary on the ongoing affairs.

One time the blog’s host, Chauncey, even let me do a guest post "The Birth Of A Nation" Oh yeah, I was as thrilled as a fat rat in a cheese factory. Now, in walks Fred C  of Spin Easy Time blogspot

Over the months, I had been noticing that Fred’s comments were quite different than most political debaters. His had a ring of openness and honesty that I’ve seldom seen in most political discussions, and it was obvious to me that the man had a wealth of wisdom, and an education. I asked myself, “who is this white guy that’s not afraid to call a spade a spade, and bigoted dumb white folks... bigoted, racist dumb white folks?” Now you know, and he must obviously know, that his penchant for holding up a mirror to some of our evil white brothers, could get a white man barred from the shores of America. But ol’ Fred had that covered. He packed up his stuff and moved to Thailand.

If my memory serves me well, he said he was running from a bad marriage and taxes. However, this is what he also said: “[I am] a reformed lawyer“. Uuuuuum, a reformed lawyer? Okay, Fred showed me his honesty side, cuz we all know that most lawyers are snakes that can’t be trusted as far as we can throw them, but Fred said he’s reformed. So now Fred is a law professor in Thailand ( and I‘ve been in Thailand). Oh, that reminds me, he also said the following:

"One of the things that I explain to my students in every class is that if they play their cards right they can get somewhere in this life. The secret, I tell them, is to have a good idea of where you want to get, keep your eyes on it, and take one step after the other, all in the same direction. I'm a natural born counselor, I am, I was born to give advice to other people. To myself? Not so much. [my] blog is a perfect example. Did you ever see so much meandering in your life? There's no theme, no overriding passion. I wander around a field like a bull who thinks he sees some dandelions, you know, over there. It's not a road map to anywhere in particular. It's sure not a road map to readership or getting paid. It's no surprise, this lack of focus. After all, how many people do you know who have had over fifty jobs in their lives? Probably only one: me.

So Fred isn’t fooling himself and sho ain’t trying to dress to impress, and I like that in him.

But like I said earlier, I am leery of most white folks, and I believe, to a large degree, most blacks understand why I, and we, would feel that way. So I poked around a little more to see why and how Fred was so understanding of the ways of black folks. As with my other victims guests who that found themselves at my front door, I started at his home page and then walked slowly through his jungle. Low and behold, the man wrote that he loved Bobby "Blue" Bland and The Last Poets. What... Bobby “Blue” Bland AND The last poets?!!! I didn’t think anybody knew anything about Bobby “Blue” Bland, but an old school black man like me. Now I am wondering if his “ex” is a big booty, big brown sistah? But this is what he said about The Last Poets:

“Surprisingly light list of the Last Poets on the 'Tube. Shame, really. I haven't checked, but I'm sure that there's lots of Katy Perry (nice tits but so what?), Miley Cyrus (now, really!), Rhiannon or somebody (I saw her on 'Idol, she was chunky and dull), and God knows whoever else is unaccountably popular these days. As the 'Poets said, "wake up, white people!" And everybody else, most people are asleep these days. Listen up! There's tons of great shit out there

And he didn’t know I was listening.

But listen, before I let Fred out my door, I have to add the following. Remember when I said I did a guest post at “We Are Respectable Negroes”, weeell, I didn’t get many comments/responses so I was a little disappointed and left the following comment:

I said:  “**CareyCarey is seen with his head down, a can of beer in hand. He appears to be in a large room but nobody else is around. "Oh well" he says, "charge that to the game". Once more he found himself in a rough crowd. He takes the last swig of his now warm beer, straightens his tie, tips his hat to Chauncey, and walks out the door**

Well, Chauncey and Fred came by to soothe my soul.

Chauncey: “The public if fickle. And it is hard to bottle lightening ;)
good stuff though.

Fred C said: No sweat, Carey, we're listening. It's always nice to read a good man's ideas about truth and principles. In a way, that's what Stagolee was all about, the man lived and died by his principles (whether we can subscribe to them or not). The last verse, as I do the song, sees the Stack-man found guilty of first-degree-murder and sentenced to the electric chair. "Stagolee died at midnight, head held up high, and the last thing he said 'my six-shooter never lied. Oh, and I've known a couple of Black guys who couldn't say motherfucker with a straight face. President Obama is a good actor, so he could probably manage it, but his heart wouldn't be in it.

Y’all will have to read the post to find out the connect to President Obama & motherfucker :-0

But Fred wiped away a few of my tears and he is alright with me. Now the clock on the wall says that’s all. It’s time to say goodbye to Fred and all my friends, but I will be back to see Who’s That Knocking At My Door.

Y’all come back now... ya hear? Who will be next?


fred c said...

Thanks for that, Carey, from the bottom of my heart, thanks a lot. What I know about American Blacks I learned from them personally, and my experience has been overwhelmingly positive. Just the facts. And thanks again. We tattooed fuck-ups are unaccustomed to such sustained flattery.

Thrasher said...


I share your thoughts about Fred he is a helluva nice white guy ...I admire his courage and wit and value for the herd..

CareyCarey said...

Ut oh, if Chauncey shows up, we'll have enough for a political debate.

Whatsup Trasher, yeah, Freds cool with me. And you know what, a few years ago I decided to take a stance of no lying. Really, I was did a post about it, in which many came by and commented. And you know what, everyone said everyone lies. I told them that was not true and there was no way they could prove that. But my point is, everything I said about Fred was straight from my heart.

On a side note, Fred is in a good place. It's a beautiful country, the cost of living is low (waaaay low) and everything a man could desire is at his disposal. Well, lets just say, if one had an addiction (sex, party, drugs, alcohol, laziness) Thialand would not be the place to go if he wanted to kick that habit. I've been there and I have memories, and I had an addiction.

Thrasher, thanks for stopping by.

fred c said...

Honestly, I'm just not that into partying and drugs anymore.

Anonymous said...

What's even more astonishing is Fred grew up in a lily-white hard-core racist town that literally did not have one black family in it. They weren't allowed to. How he ever came out of it intact is a miracle. And I should know, I grew up in the same redneck town but am terribly racist and all that shit that Fred is not, I'm ashamed to admit.

CareyCarey said...

What'sup Mr Anonymous,

How can a guy living in the Redondo Beach area be a racist? Well, I guess it depends on where a person goes and what they are looking for.

Case in point, I have a Jewish friend who although he could send his children to private schools (he lived in a rich enclave) he chose to send his children to the inner city public school. It was his belief that a person should seek first to understand those different from them, and not run from "it", which could only lead to more confusion, stupidity and racism. I do not know how or when Fred engaged with people of color but I know he's a better person than the average man because of his many adventures.

fred c said...

Hey now! All of this kindness is clogging up my cynicism!

Anon, by the way, is only guilty of excess honesty. If he sees something in himself, a glimpse of something that he doesn't like, he calls himself out on it. He's right about our town though, it was quite the little zoo, tucked in a corner of working class Queens, New York. Our time was the fifties and sixties, a time of vast strife (just ask George Whitmore, Jr.)

I'm working on a blogathon about my history with the races, the notes are fairly interesting. I'd like to figure out how I took the input that I got and came to the conclusions that I did.