Friday, January 21, 2011
Chicken Wing KING!
I have a confession to make, I didn't know how to cook chicken wings. Nope - I did - but I didn't. I’ve made them, but they were never quite right. To make matters worse, ol'girl's, my woman's wings are... well, not that good either. I never had the heart to tell her, I just ate those dry thangs with a smile on my face. But see, I had to go to a function in which I was planning to take along some wings for the crowd. So, I asked a few friends how they cooked theirs. Let me tell you... everybody has a chicken wing recipe. Some are passed down from grandmomma's grandmomma.
One day, Ol'girl was coming over and I didn't know how to tell her that I wanted to cook the wings by myself. She had already said she wanted to help me.
She came over and well... let me start from the beginning. I bought the whole wing and I was about to cut off the tips when my girl looked at me like I had just slapped her mother. In a slow serious voice she said "what are you getting ready to do with that knife". I asked her what she was talking about. She said, “I know you ain't cuttin' off them tips, people LOOOVE them tips“. So I put the knife down. But wait, let me go back a little further.
Someone had asked me if white folks like chicken wings as much as we do. Are you kidding me, there was some white folks at the event that I had to run away from those wings. For real, and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEM! See, there was this one white lady that was part of the event and I guess many other people in the building thought it was a party for everybody. When I asked them what they were doing they said, “eatin' wings” *lol*. When I politely said it was a private little thang, a couple of them grabbed another piece and walked out. Listen, I had on a sports coat and tie, so I couldn't get ignorant, but it kind of made me feel good that they loved them wings.
Anyway, here's what I did. I cooked the wings three different ways, taking advice from many. I don't normally use seasoning salt but it seems like other folks like it. I did use garlic powder but NOT TOO MUCH. Someone told me that when the wings started floating to the top, they were ready. I'd never heard about the floating wing thang, but when them babies started swimming, I was like a fisherman standing on the banks of the Mississippi River pulling out cat fish.
Now, we’ve all heard of CP time, right? When someone sets out food, somebody is gonna be late, and somebody gonna be mad. This one sister - A BIG SISTA - got there a little late. When she came through the door I told her there was some food in the other room. Her face lit up like it was Christmas morning. But man... that chicken was gone when she got there. She started looking around like somebody was going to give up some of their chicken. Really, she looked around the room and her eyes saw this one sister that had a to-go-plate. Why do people do that? Ain't you suppose to eat the food right there? Anyway, the big sister asked the "little" sista how many wings she had under that napkin. It got ugly. She got loud and asked if she was suppose to get full on the cold slaw... not cole slaw... cold slaw. I don't have to tell you the rest of the story, do I? You know what happened to those wings under that napkin .
If you're wondering about my lady, here's how that went down. She was going to accompany me on this thang. So I told her that it didn't make sense for her to get in the kitchen and end up smelling like chicken. She said she had thought about that and had brought along a set of clothes, and would take a shower after we were done. Dang, what could I say then? Well, I told her that I had a couple of shirts in the cleaners that I had to get out, and she could pick them up for me and I'd get started on the chicken. She said she would help me clean the chicken and if "we" had enough time, she then would go get the shirts. I think she was trying to make sure that I didn't mess up something, like cut off them tips. Anyway, "we" got started and before she could drop a pinch of salt on anythang, I looked at my watch and said, "Man, look at the time, you better go get those shirts". She looked at me kind of funny because I already had my clothes laid out for the evening... shirt and everything. She said, "OOOOOOH, you don't want me cookin' yo wings". I looked at her with this stupid look on my face. She said, that's okay, I didn't want to cook yo stankin' wings anyway. She went right to the shower, after throwing a wing on the table.
It was a great night. Ol'girl came along and she loves wings. They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Welllllll, women too. She wasn't mad at me after she put her soup coolers on them wings. I wonder who really makes the best wings, women or men?
In this here house, I's the chicken wing King.