Sunday, June 27, 2010

REFLECTIONS: MY DAY, MY LIFE, MY BLOG.


I can joke with the best of them. I can cuss and say all the wrong things. I have shown my ass and acted a damn fool. I have not arrived. Yet, sometimes ...Some-Times, I have to stop and look around. I have to reflect on where I've been and where I am going
.


I was encouraged to blog but I didn't know what it was about. I reached out to a few bloggers that I thought were doing it right ...Keith, Big RiPPa, Zack, Rich and others put me up on a little something.


I've asked the general question of ...."Why Do You Write" .....many responded.


Mizrepresent: ...."Writing is my release. ...gives me peace ...expresses my joys, pains, visions and journeys ...allows me to create and recreate for the sake of telling a story"
Cynique: ...."I write because - it is a challenging way to transform my creativity into words"

Furociouskitty: ...."I write because I love language and good stories. I read for the same reasons ...I love the power of language, of words ....I write because there's nothing I enjoy more, that I can get paid to do"


Vanders: ...."I write because I have to. I have to see my thoughts and expression on paper"


All the above responses hit me hard ....the following brought it home.


Mizrepresent: ...."Carey- i have always thought some of our most powerful writers, and talented were the ones who had suffered much and in the end gained themselves......."


I was inspired to write this post by SLC and A Free Spirit Butterfly. Miss Butterfly said it's all about values and character.


I went to church today because I needed to. Church can be an intimidating place ....all the good people are there - wrong! ...I've been doing all the wrong things so I'd be a hypocrite if I went - wrong! I don't know why others go but I might have committed a few errors in judgement throughout the week and need to tighten my game. I might have been the biggest sinner up in there ....but I doubt it.


The message came from Ezekiel. Many know popular passages from that book .....I concentrated on the message of putting something new on my old bones.


My father was the best man I've ever known. I can remember the day he was waiting for me at the kitchen table, it was 7am. The night before, my girlfriend Ann, called and said she was scared and asked if I would come over. I fathered a child with Ann and she lived alone with our child. I lived in my parent’s home, a room to myself. My brothers were off to college and I loved my silence .....my room. Before they left it was the three of us in a small upstairs room ....my oldest brother, Gary slept on a hideaway bed ...my other brother and I shared a bed. We always made fun of Gary because he had to fold up his bed every morning while we sort of threw ours together.


I knew dad would be waiting for me. He was very strict about being on time. We had curfews and it was understood that they were not to be broken. He often told us that if he said 11 o'clock it didn't mean 11:01.We were not allowed to go out on weekdays unless it was to a sporting event. My father boxed and my brothers and I were involved in many sports. Regardless of the event ...if the witching hour passed ....dad could be found waiting at the kitchen table.


I opened the door with caution as if nothing was wrong. I was prepared for my punishment .....or at least I thought I was. I assumed he would make me wash the dishes for a month or cut all the neighbors grass and that would have been okay .....he was sitting at the table ....he stared at me and without hesitation said, "boy, what do you think this is? I can't remember my father giving us a beating or whippings .....he wasn't that kind of father, yet he always demanded respect and we alwaysgave it to him without question. I explained to him that my girl friend heard noises in her new apartment and asked if I'd join her .....I saw a look in his eyes that I'd never seen before .....he wasn't mad, it wasn't disgust, it was fear and concern. He knew I was about to pass into a life that I was ill prepared to handle. He paused ....then said, son it is honorable of you to go and see about the welfare of your girlfriend and the child. I now what you to go upstairs and pack your things .....he dropped his head, raised it and continued ....we will not have a fatherless child in this family .....and it’s time for you to go raise your family. I'd never seen my father cry. A tear appeared in the corner of his eyes. I was a teenager ....Ann and I were not in love ....we were kids playing an adult game


I didn't plead my case ....I said okay and walked to my room ....I wasn't prepared for this new role as a man and a father .....I was a kid and I made mistakes. I am now reflecting on those mistakes. I married Ann, she is now gone ....she has gone home.


What about a time called now?



*This post was one of my first. It was written March 2009. That's me & my daughter (in picture). We've made it through the ruff times.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Babies Momma Drama. Part 2


We all can rationalize our bad decision and give excuses why we committed errors in judgement. I don't wish to live in the past but I do not ever want to forget why I may have chosen a wrong path.

Even though I may have given the impression that I was promiscuous in my early years of military life, I was not. The military is much like any job or career. The workday has set hours and one goes to work and then goes home. Many military bases are like small rural communities. Some are in isolated areas. Even though I spoke of meeting women upon their arrival at the base, there were not many women.

I went in the military to start a new life. But as my mother would say, if you play with a puppy, it will lick you in the face. My father's version was, if you sit in a barbershop you will eventually get a haircut. I fathered a child as a teenager and her mother was waiting for me back home. We had planned a life together yet I was in the arms of another women. I was hesitant about telling this part of my story because there remains a sense of guilt that I hurt others by my selfish ways. The shame and guilt goes away when I address the issues and honestly accepted my wrongdoings. When I jacked up my slacks and said I messed up, I can then move on. But to share my story and my pain with others is a new journey. The road is tough when the fingers of fault are pointing directly at me. However, I've grown tired of many depicting mothers with children by different men as some sort of women with flawed character or low morals. I was involved with two wonderful women that just happened to run into a guy like me.

While playing house with my new lover we brought another child into the world. I wasn't man enough to tell either of the women about each other so I maintained two separate lives. I was close enough to my home town that I could drive home when I choose to do so. I lived this lie for 2 years until everything came tumbling down. I had become so comfortable with living like this that I even drove my second family to my parents home to let them visit with their new grandchild. I put them in an awful position. My father would give me the look of deep concern and ask me what the hell I was doing. My mother was force to take the route of don't ask don't tell. Everyone paid a price when the news broke.

After visiting my parents one weekend, I decided to stop at a local horse racing track. My skills at picking winners wasn't very good so I decided to leave after the 5th race. I was with Rita* (*name changed) and my son. As we approached the car a voice said, "how are you doing Carey", it was Debbie*, the mother of my first child. She had a gun in her hand, a 2 shot derringer. I was stunned, I walked toward her. My son ran behind me saying daddy daddy. He didn't know there was danger, he just couldn't understand why I was walking off from him.

At that moment my life changed and so did the lives of several others.


To be continued ........... Part 3 coming

This piece was written as a series for http://coparenting101.org/.

The blogs mission if to have a place where co-parents can share their struggles of co-parenting - "the new father/the old ex/the new girlfriend/dating/ visitations, etc,.

The Baby Momma Drama part 3




Co-parenting is like the game of Tic-Tac-Toe; the game with the 9 squares. The square in the middle is the key. But unfortunately some parents always want to be the "ex" in the middle. The game is won when three "X's" or three "O's" are all aligned in one row, not when the ex is in the middle. It doesn't matter if they are aligned diagonally, across or up and down, they just need to be in line. But some parents are like the actor that wants to write the screenplay, build the props, and direct all the other players in their own way. They desire to be the "ex" in the center square at all cost. The co-parent turned director unknowingly turns a nice family movie into a horror flick. They stay stuck in the middle square failing to grasp the concept of a team player - family player. Tic-Tac- OH NO! Although the center square can be key to winning the game, the game can be won without it.

There I was, stuck in the middle. A man that had walked a tightrope of life was about to fall down. I was stuck between a gun wielding women and another woman lost in disbelief. Debbie's eye left mine and slowly traveled to the child running behind me. She looked back at me and then back to the child. Her face said it all, she realized that was my son. Her eyes swelled with tears. Rita was behind me calling my name.

Debbie was by no means the type of woman to carry a gun. Years later I asked her what she was going to do with the gun, she said, shoot your ass! I asked her why she didn't do it. She said, what kind of woman would she be if she shot a man while a crying child ran behind him saying, daddy daddy. I then asked her where she got the gun and she said, your brother.

I think it's safe to assume that many have a few choice names for me. I do not think it would be a stretch to include louse and jerk, and I would agree. However, in defense of myself, I would rather have been a wolf, a pig or a dog than to presently be a bad parent. I am not saying it's okay to be bad person or to have been a bad person. I think it's wiser to learn from our mistakes and grow through them. Some individuals are lousy husbands and dreadful wives yet good parents. Many people can not live with another person or at least their ex. Some didn't know how to love another until a child came into their lives. To a large degree, my story is no different than any other co-parent. There's a relationship or relationships that didn't work out. We can start right there. Who was at fault? Does it really matter?! Who's the judge of righteousness?

Parenting is not a reflex move - our emotions control us. We are the only animals on earth that get up by alarm clocks, and not because we are no longer sleepy. We drink several bottles of water because someone said it's the right thing to do, not because we are thirsty. We do so many things on the advice/words of others. Frequently they no nothing about us, nor our predicaments.

I had two great parents. My father has passed away. My father was the best man I've ever known. Not simply because he was my father, just because he was a good man. After my father passed away, I found out that he too had an affair. In fact, he also had a child by another women. The man was about the same age as my older brother. I came across this information by accident when a person asked me why I didn't attend my brother's funeral. I knew "my" brother had not died so I went to my mother to ask questions. They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. My father made a few mistakes as a young man and I knew nothing about them. Had my mother used this information in a spiteful way, it could have affect the whole family dynamics. There's a valuable lesson in my mother's silence. I think it's important that the child make the determination of the character of the man and it should not come from the mouth of the other parent - it serves no purpose.

The Momma drama continues....


Standing between two women, I was riddled with shame and guilt, I didn't know what to do. Debbie dropped her head and walked away. Rita was furious. I picked up my son and walked toward the car. It was a five hour drive back to the military base. Rita lived in base housing. I frequently stayed there several nights. We were not married, I had an apartment off base. That night I stayed at my apartment. The next day, after talking with Rita, I drove back to my home town to talk with Debbie. She said not to come but I went anyway.


To be continued ....... The final cut is coming up.

This piece is part of a series written for http://coparenting101.org/.
The blog's mission is to provide a place for those going through the struggles of co-parenting to share their stories and to maybe find answers. Many issues are examined - the new father/the new girlfriend/dating/problems with the ex/visitations, etc,.



Solomon said...
I thought today would be the conclusion, the suspense is killing me.


Tia said...
I've come to the conclusion that you're writing my story!


CareyCarey said...
Well Solomon, you must not be a reader. I mean, I usually don't want a good book to end. But wait, maybe this story is a story you want to through on the floor. I no longer have to finish a book just because I started it. If it doesn't grab me I will shut it down. Maybe that's it?What do you want me to conclude? Solomon, I will tell you that one of the women has a son that is presently playing quarterback in the NFL. How's that for suspense?!@ Tia ...looky here, you've returned with your mysterious self. I am afraid to comment to much to you because I get the sneakin' hunch that you know me and the people I am talking about? Have we shared a kiss?

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...
Very, very interesting. Staying tuned, when crime doesn't interfere with me checking in!Love ya.Free Spirit


Blu Jewel said...
I'm on the edge waiting...this is like reading one of Keith's stories.love to live;live to love!

CareyCarey said...
Hello Miss Butterfly, I am happy that you had a little time to put down those handcuffs and read along. That takes me to Blu Jewel.So you say this reminds you of keith's stories. Well, at times I wish I could write his type of stories he's doing a little freaky Deaky over there *lol*. My story(1) is always going to be the same ....no cut ,no chaser, it's my life's story.Keith and I do have a lot of similarities. We were both in the same branch of the armed forces. We both love Thunderstorms and love to eat.

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...
This is some straight-up draaaaaaaaaaaaamah!


CareyCarey said...
*lol* @ the black woman with the trumpet. How do you spell relief? I know I needed some.


Solomon said...
You are killing me Carey, when is the conclusion to this story.What kind of brother are you to leave us hangin' like this?

Opinionated Diva said...
floored at her coming after you with gun in hand...so gangsta! lolhell hath no fury...ow!eagerly awaiting the conclusion

Garage Sale. I ve Shown My Last A$$.


That's right, your eyes my shine and your teeth my grin, but I have to go back to where this all began. It looks like another love TKO.


Now it's time to say good bye to all my blogging friends... CareyC [see you later] areY [because I loved you]
Step right up, I am going back in time. I mean, I am deleting all my posts. I will be running a few older ones, but as I do, I will be deleting them. I wrote over 200 posts. I am now down to less than 110. The posts will run for a short period.

Mamma Drama ....The final cut.


This 4 part post was written for a series @ http://coparenting101.org/

I do not profess to be an expect on women's emotions. I am not a psychologist. looking back over my life, I've often wondered why the two women in my life didn't treat me differently upon finding out my secret. At that time, neither of them shut the door on me or called me dirty names. I continued to live a life with two families.

A day came when I had to make a choice. Obviously at that time I had not matured and I was trying to take the easy way out by having either Rita or Debbie make the choice for me. But neither ran off and I had to grow up. I honored my commitment with Debbie and we eventually got married. We were together for nearly 35 years. She has passed away after a battle with cancer. Looking back, I've come to appreciate how strong these women were and how they played a vital role in the development of our children.

Rita took an early discharge from the military and vanished with my son. At that time the emotional journey was too much for her to handle. My wife was sympathetic to her pain and that of mine. I had "lost" a son and she insisted that I find them. I was able to track them down through military channels. They were living in a state far from mine. The following years were a learning process.

When a person decides to entertain the overtures of another, they are attracted to that person and not necessarily the children that come along with them. Frequently the issues of co-parenting involves the new wife or the new girlfriend.
On the ex-husbands side, it involves the new husband or the new boyfriend. Divorce rates are up and families are not staying together as long as they did in days gone by. Men can be possessive and so can women. The new lovers are often intimidated by a good relationship between the ex's. Frequently, depending on the reasons behind the breakup, the old spouse has been known to oppose visit, or limits visits to the house of the ex-husband or wife while "she's" there.

Debbie told me later in our marriage that she always thought Rita was more attractive than her. She also said that since Rita had my first born son (had another son with Debbie later) that my sense of responsibility to that boy would drive me away. I learned these things later in our marriage. I also learned that was one of the reasons she agreed to let my son come and live with us for periods longer than summer vacations {less visits to her house}. I never really knew women as much as I thought I did. Some of my son's high school years were spent with us; summers with his mother. He played on a state championship football team.

I never faced the drama of the "other" women making demands. I think it was partly because the women were mature adults and had compassion and respect for each others dilemma. More so, I now believe it had something to do with the father's in their own lives. Each had a different story. Debbie's father left the home when she was a child. There were issues in Rita's childhood as well. Hence, they knew the importance of having a father in a child's life even though co-parenting puts a strain on those dynamics.
I've come to believe it's just as important that a good man be in the life of a young girl. I've met women who have said they've never been around good men, including their fathers, and therefore, thought all men were the same - bad. Debbie and Rita were never in each others company although they had to talk to each other on the phone.

Of course children try to throw parents into the middle of their compliants, mine were no different. Once my son called Rita to tell her that Debbie had "spanked" him. Well, Rita told him that if he ever calls her again in regards to Debbie spanking him, that she was going to tell her to spank him again - for her. Another time my son called his mother and told her that I made him walk to school. I never got a ride to school and thought the distance wasn't too far. She called me and asked about his situation. I told her I might have been living in the past "boy, I walked 10 miles to school" and decided to change my view. It was a pretty long distance. So I decided to buy him a bicycle. He said he would never be caught dead riding a bike to school; that was for nerds. The bike was relagated to short runs to the store and he walked to school ....he didn't die.

As I mentioned, I look back and have regrets that I didn't voice my appreciation more than I did. I was never around other co-parents, yet these days I hear the same arguments from the ex-husband or ex-wife. "The new wife is not fit to have their child around her son". It's weird because even if the children love being around the new mate, for some strange reason the ex's are not having it. Although I am not a doctor, I have my opinion why this may happen. Rita called me one day and said, "so, you have a big house, is it bigger than mine?" . In the early years of our co-parenting, I guess my son made the crucial mistake of saying something nice about my home and Debbie. Heck, I had to purchace a larger home when the children started eating more and getting bigger. Before the new purchase it was no big deal for boys and girls to sleep in the same room. But when my daughter started to develope, we knew it was time to make a change.

I don't know how this goes in other co-parenting households, but it was a sticky issue in mine. I don't know if women are more comfortable thinking the other women is a poor mother that doesn't clean her home? But it's been my experience that women don't want to hear anything good about the other women.

The problems of co-parenting are not solely related to the relationship of the parents. We thrust children together that have different parents or at least one different parent and expect them to get along just fine. More times than not, this is not the case. Children can be cruel. My son once told me that Debbie's children told him that his mother tried to steal "their" father from their mother.

Also, my children by Debbie once told me that I let Rita's son get away with murder. I wonder if we do that? I wonder if we overly protect the child that is away from his other parent? I do know that Debbie went out of her way to show love to my son. She would ask him what dinner he would like for her to cook and I will never forget, it was tuna casserole. Every time it was tuna casserole. I never liked tuna casserole.

Today I am a grandfather. Looking back, I probably would change some things. But I wonder what I would change and if that would be a good thing. I was watching the movie "Benjamin Button" and there was a scene that stuck in my mind. It was a scene in which one of the characters was hit by a moving car. In the movie, the viewer had a chance to see all the different factors involved in reaching one defining moment in life. For instance, what would have happened if the driver of the car hadn't stop to pick up a package? Also, the women that was hit by the car was detained in her apartment. What would have happened if she hadn't misplaced her keys?

Maybe most events happen for a reason. Maybe my purpose in life is to tell my story. I've made a lot of mistakes and maybe others can learn from them. I love being a father and there's nothing I would change about that.

It's hard telling a story in which others are involved and try to keep their anonymity. Sometime we want to share the good parts of our lives. I wanted to share a little something but I don't want people going up to a man and telling him that he knows this and that about his mother or his father. So, one of the sons by one of the women in this story is presently playing quarterback in the NFL. I wouldn't change a whole lot about my life, including co-parenting.

I miss my father. If he was alive today I'd look forward to calling him and telling him thank you for being a good dad.

Thanks for reading along.

A Free Spirit Butterfly said...
I was trying to sneak in a comment at work and accidentally posted a Father's Day greeting on the wrong post. I think it went to Mz. Jackson...Anyhoo, Love ya and wishing you a very HAPPY FATHER's DAY!Free Spirit!

Keith said...
Man this was an incredible story..I held off commenting until the entire story wa told.. A lot of times when I read you,I feel like except for a few details, I'm reading my own story...I too know about Air Force life and women and the problems that come along with both...This was very insightful and I hope it ispired at least one young reader out there..It was certainly a story that needed to be told. Big Up's to you man..for being more man than a lot of these cats out here! You were blessed to have two wonderful women in your life..That's more than a lot of guys ever get (or deserve)Happy Father's Day to you, (From one Grandfather to another :)


Opinionated Diva said...
Totally agree with Keith...incredible story. I literally said, "wow" out loud at the end.Takes strong people to co-parent and maintain their sanity...your wife was an amazing woman.


Blu Jewel said...
Having been decieved by my mother as a child into me thinking my stepfather was my biological father, I have a lot of respect for Debbie who encouraged you to find your son and have a relationship with him. I was 5 when I finally met my biological father and even though he and I grew pretty close, there was a lot he did to fail me over the years she shared. I later found out that I not just the two children I grew up with at his house, but 5 other siblings; whom I didn't meet until late in my life; save for the eldest whom I met when I was about 13.I think it's important; regardless of how the child was conceived that he/she be afforded a relationship with their parent. I think it's cruel and unfair to use adult drama as a tool and a means to manipulate or hurt the other parent. I'm happy that your situation worked in your favor in the end and that you were able to have and maintain a relationship with all your children.Love to live; live to love!


blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...
Hi there!Thanks for sharing this!Wow...I commend you for finding your son and for maintaining a relationship with your children.You said:"I've come to believe it's just as important that a good man be in the life of a young girl. I've met women who have said they've never been around good men, including their fathers and therefore thought all men were the same - bad."I encounter so many black women who have had negative experiences with men - beginning in their childhoods. Many of them to feel a bit of resentment that I don't share that history. My parents got married BEFORE having children, and were degreed professionals BEFORE having children. My father wanted his children. He loved being a dad. There was no "oooops I'm pregnant!" aspect of the way he encountered fatherhood. His encounter with fatherhood was COMPLETELY intentional.I think that is a huge factor with most black men... how they encountered fatherhood and if they actually SOUGHT parenthood.As for the situation with the women... I think that men need to be EXTREMELY careful not to become involved with a woman who will not treat his children as HER OWN. Sooo often, a brotha will be enamored with a sista who is devoted and affectionate and committed but she really doesn't have those same feelings for his children. She politely tolerates them because they are part of the package...and this always surfaces later on in the relationship.Happy belated Father's Day.Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!


Maxine said...
This is a beautiful post, Carey. It is honest, and real, and confronts issues all of us are dealing, or will probably deal with, in our lives. It's rare that men speak honestly about these things, particularly in an open forum. And while the preacher in me wants to chastise your infidelity, the reality is that monogamy is often an unrealistic aspiration, and who knows if it was even meant to be...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

TWITTER AIN'T NOTHING BUT A DRIVE-BY. Follow you?! You gotsta be kidding!


Get Read-Get Set-Go. Now STOP!




I mean, what the hell is Twitter? I know some bloggers have a hookup with Twitter, and that's cool, but give me a freakin break. Is it just me, or do real bloggers deplore Twitter. They should call it Jitter because any ol'crackhead could say "Hi, whatcha doing, catch ya later". I mean, WTH is going on?
Really, isn't that system like a drive-by shooting.... BANG BANG, you're dead -see you later. If a clown calls me on the phone and says, "Whats up man, am going to the movies tonight"..... and then hangs up, I am done with his ass. I mean, really, they could have missed me with that one. I mean, real bloggers gotta let it go. They have to stretch out. Who wants to read twitter, I mean, a "drive-bye" post - huh?

But I understand. See, when I drop by some blogs, I notice certain individuals... wait, am not talking about anybody, am just saying. I 've notice some individuals do drive-by comments on a regular basis. Maybe there's some kind of points program. You know, like those frequent flyer miles. Now I ain't talking about nobody, but I could swear some people copy and paste their comments. Come on, you've seen them... "Good post pal, keep up the good work, am gone".... "Good post Sista, keep up the good work" ...... "Good post Ralph, keep up the good work".... "you're the best, Shirley" .... "you're the best, Shanika" .... You're the best Kunta Kente' ".

I thought there could only be one "Best".


Don't get me wrong, I love a good pat on the back, but there's little shame in the game of real bloggers. You know it! They will let in go in their house and your house. See, personally, I like that. Let me know what's really on your mind. Don't lie to me softly. If I jack a post, let me know. I've been known to write a post -or 2- that didn't make sense to anybody, including myself. A Real bloggers will write a page or two... right up in your house. I like it - like that.
But isn't Twitter akin to somebody knocking on your door, and then punching you in the face. Then, they're off to punch another idiot. I mean, who drops by your house and says 10 words and then leaves? What's that mess about? Don't get me wrong, on some occasions a short reply is just what the doctor ordered, but am just saying......

For real, is there a rewards program for short bursts of "hello, am gone"? Really, I need to know because I can use a plastic key chain. Maybe it's just this new generation of Xboxers and BET-ers? Maybe I should blame it on Rap music - that's it...... "BOOM BOOM BOOM.... grab my nuts..... am gone"! WTH?

To tell the truth, I am really pissed off because I should have invented that mess. I mean, the advertisement slogan wouldn't have to be much..... "TWITTER! Come on by. You don't have to say a goddam thang and you can't stay long - just drive-by"

Twitter is like pissing in the river. A whole lot of swinging pricks could let their streams roll down the bank, and not make a dent in the river. Cuz that steam is going to stop in about 20 seconds. I mean, come on, WTH is Twitter?

Jitter Bug-Twitter Bug-Tweety Bird, what kind of people tweet? Granted, Twitter seems to be a great attachment to a blog. Bloggers use them as a portal to their blog. But I am talking about them pimp or die tweet sweets. Now I ain't talking about nobody, but is strictly tweet for dead heads? Maybe it's for people that watch porn flicks by themselves?

I don't know, am just asking. I mean, who watches porn flicks for the sound?? I mean, ain't that just like Twitterettes..... they ain't sayin a goddam thang? Real bloggers need the whole pool. And, they prefer the deep end.



I know.... I know, bloggers are not always dropping a wealth of information, but at least they are saying it loud..... like they are fat and proud. You show me a trench coat wearing flasher and I'll show you a Tweet Sweet. Of course I am kidding about them being sweet, but I'd bet most of them can be found trolling for underage girls....."hello, my name is Johnny, how old are you - tweeeeeet?"

If you ever see me stop blogging and my name appears in a tweet, call the loony wagon because I 've lost my F**kin' mind.

Nutty J. said...
bruhahahaha.... this is funny... and I totally agree. I've been on twitter for 6 months now and I still call people and say ''hey pls tell me where to click, I need to feel this thing like others are feeling it.''And when they tell me ''thats all''...I'm like 'so what the fcuk is all the hype for'? I mean I cant even write a note there...so whats the essence.Its lame... Facebook beats it one thousand times.Or maybe one day I'll learn the secret of enjoying Tweeter
June 30, 2010 6:09 AM
CerebrallyBusy said...
well.obviously you have no idea what twitter is about.
June 30, 2010 2:38 AM

RiPPa said...
You old cantankerous muthafucka!YEAH I SAID IT!LOLNah man, but for real for real. You got Twitter all wrong "Old School". Yes there are some people with the drive bye tweets, but that's on all social network sites. Believe it or not, I have some great conversations and debates on Twitter. Actually, for many like myself, it has become a source to jumpstart the creative juices when it comes to writing. In short, it has further shrunken the world and exposes you to what's going on all around you that you may not notice.Now that's just how it works for me. But for most bloggers or anyone with a marketing accumen it has become one of the best tools there is for product promotion.Some of my best work start as tweets. But if you ever spent any time in the chatrooms on the internet back in the early day. You damn sure could and would appreciate Twitter. Hey, and I'll be honest: Twitter compensates for the need for social human interaction.

RiPPa said...
BTW: It would be an honor to host you as a guest with a post on my page. Shoot me an email.


CareyCarey said...
F**k you Big RiPPa.... BYE! Tweeeeet!

CareyCarey said...
Nawl man *lol*, I suppose the problem is in my Ol'skool ass. But as you know, I generally don't talk about things I do not know a little something about. On this occasion, I was just running my mouth and telling a few jokes. But some people miss the humor.
Well, it was how I felt, but that don't make it right.But noooooo, you had to come up in here and blast me in my own house *lol*. But like I said in my post.... I like that shit! but you know what man, I was thinking about you when I was writing that post because I know you use Twitter. To some degree, that's why I wrote the "out clauses" -For real! Although I don't Twitter, I know it can be an effective tool. But don't tell nobody I said that. I don't want to spoil my image of being an "old cantankerous muthafucka!"*lol*I guess it goes back to the old saying "ya can't teach an old dog new trick". I shake when I get next to an Xbox, but I'll kill a pin-ball machine.
Hey man, I don't know your e-mail address?


RiPPa said...
iiight ol'skool...go to my page. look on my sidebar for the section that says "get sum madness". in that section there's a button that says "contact". click that link to send me an email.you know, that way i don't have to put my shit out here on your page so people can send me more hate mail.

CareyCarey said...
Yep, gotcha.I was glad you said your e-mail address was at your blog, because if it was at your Twitter account..... I wasn't comin'. Tweeeeeeeeeeeet.
Btw, YOU? Hate mail, you're kidding me!? Why do people get all upset when they see a fat black racist *lol*.

LoudPen said...
Carey, I agree with Rippa. You sound old as hell. Like so old. And so ignorant. I love ya, but, come on...get it together. Twitter is amazing. It allows you to speak your mind, conversate with others, and build your network. And I'm sorry, but, that's what I'm all about. I like speaking about random topics and my life at all times, and Twitter has allowed me to do that. Also, I have met other writers, bloggers, web designers, graphic designers...all on Twitter. I have been able to have some of my best political discussions via Twitter and it feels great. It's nice to know that someone is always out there listening & ready to interact. And also, Twitter isn't simply answering the question: What are you doing? It's your choice to tweet or not tweet what you wish. I follow ppl. who tweet nothing but inspirational quotes, or others who tweet to announce parties/events, or others who tweet financial advice. So all I'm saying is, stop sitting around complaining like an old man & sign up for an account. The Pen Has Spoken.

CareyCarey said...
Hello my nappy yappy from NY.Hold up, Looooong Pen, you don't know me like that..... Tweet this:"Ten toes up and ten toes down/2 naked booties going round and round/skin touching skin/ going in and out/ f**k you Long Pen/ shut your fat mouth.... TWEEEEEEEEET" LOL
Okay er'body, that's a joke.... in case you didn't know. the long Pen and I are real cool. Otherwise I wouldn't let her come up in here and put me on blast like Big RiPPa did. Yeah, what's up with that? I guess I'll put that in the "real love" box :-)But Ms. Pen, why you hittin' me with a garbage can. You know, saying a brotha is all ignant and old? *lol*
Didn't Big RiPPa tell you I was waving the white flag. yet I must admit, I did ask for full expression - didn't I. I hope you guys haven't created a Monkey see, Monkey do situation. I hope somebody saw it my way. But if they didn't, I have put on my blast jacket.Btw Ms. Long Pen, you can forget about me ever being yo' Sugardaddy,you're mean. TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEET. LOL
October 24, 2009 2:01 PM

jjbrock said...
Carey the revolution will not be televised...It will be tweeted and put on Face book...So don't get left behind...I refuse to be left behind.

RiPPa said...
@jjbrock: C'mon now Anne. Carey just found out about the Emancipation Proclamation last Tuesday. Give the brother a little time. He'll be alright. lol

CareyCarey said...
WHAT?! We Free?! Dang, I coulda had me a V-8..... or a white woman.Aye too Marcus Junius Brutus?... I mean Ann. You people are killing me. Where are all my real friends?*LOL*The following could only come from an evil mind..... "Carey the revolution will not be televised"I have to admit that's a brilliant "catch" but you 3 blind mice should move around before someone else bites off your cheese. TWEEEEEEEET!That boat is likely to tip over if one more person comes in here with another sucker punch.I know I can't be the only person that has seen the brainwashing affects of The Tweet Beat?!Where are all the beautiful people?

Solomon said...
I'm with Carey, where are all the beautiful people? *lol* @ Carey, looks like me and you are the only two on this planet that ain't hooked up on Twitter. *lol* @ bloggers doing a drive-bye post! What about me, I'm still mthe masked man. {smiles}And what about those that do the cut n paste, they don't have a mind of their own or what? LMAO! Being ol'skool is still cool Carey, I don't care what all these other bloggers say. Keep doin' what youy do bro, and it's gonna happen. You'll realize what the meaning of life is! *smiles*

LoudPen said...
Carey, don't even play me like that! You were asking for it & you know it. You said us bloggers have to call each other out sooo....Anywho, I loves ya Carey, but, I loves Twitter too and you need to get put on. Thank goodness you've surrendered. Don't mess with the powers that be. And you gotta be my sugardaddy! Remember, I can be just as sweet as I am mean. And BTW, you're not old...you are numerically abundant which is why you sometimes get set in your ways.

FreeMan said...
You know I'm with you on the twitter angle. I use it primarily as a notification service but besides that it's text messaging to the world. I had to get talked into it by one of the cats who read my blog who told me I should embrace it. Real talk it's the dumbest ish created since the comfort wipe!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vMI had those drive by bloggers too. The game is they get more links to their website and they appear higher on the google search engine. I call it NERD publicity!Real talk you have to understand what age we are in. People just love NEW, it doesn't matter what the hell it is as long as it's new. So if they came up with Iphone App to translate your voice into a Irish guy then the same Technology Nerds would make up a stupid ass name about that too.You aren't out of touch you just see that the ish is useless! It's like paying 5K for granite countertops and saying that's a deal breaker on a new house! We have a lot of dumbass people with degrees circle banging each other while entertaining over there 6 burner stove!

LoudPen said...
Freeman, if you didn't want to sign up for Twitter, why did you? And yes, Bloggers do promote posts via Twitter, I'm one of them. I personally do so because it's hard to drive traffic to your site & Twitter is a free way to do so. However, I do think that you need to give Twitter more time. I mean it's more than promoting posts & drive by blogging. All it is interaction & conversation...which is what you do with a blog so Twitter is a shorter version of that. So I don't understand why that's a bad thing?! Okay, now that I've outsed myself as a Twitterholic, I'm not coming back to this post. Well...maybe...okay...probably.

RiPPa said...
"Freeman, if you didn't want to sign up for Twitter, why did you?"ANSWER: Because he's a hypocrite. But hey, he's a "business building money making" type of guy, right? Seems to me that anyone with some form of business acumen about them would be quite interested in the marketing potential that Twitter provides. Doesn't make sense, right?

FreeMan said...
@Loud-Pen - Thank you for being civil in your response to me. After a friend pushed me I saw it as a way to announce the blog and get some followers that I probably wouldn't reach by word of mouth. I can wait to see what it actually turns into because in it's current form twitter has limited use for me. I just use it more as an announcement.@Carey - LOL man I respect your site!


CareyCarey said...
I KNEW IT!!!! And since I saw Ms. jjbrock (a nice Christian woman) riding with Big RiPPa, I am simply going to say... I FREAKIN' KNEW IT!MY MAN FREEMAN. Boy, I was drowning out here and you came to my rescue. Man, you killed that explanation. i didn't have the cahoonas to say what you did, but man, you brought it home.Now I ain't trying to start nothing but on a side note, back in my mind, I knew if RiPPa was on one side of the fence, you might be on the other. I am by no means suggesting your opinion was based on anything he said, because I know you stand on your word but I had a feeling this would happen. But more importantly, it was my belief that I felt I wasn't standing on porous ground. I mean, I knew my position had some merit.Others may disagree, and the saga may continue but.....
@ Solomon, come on man, there's no suckin' up in blog land. LOLUntil you remove that mask, am gonna stay in your ass, because I feel like you are about to rob me :-).
@ Long Pen, As Barry White said, "your sweetness is my weakness". Girl, I love love love feedback, and my joke shouldn't have been taken personally. I would walk through a lions den wearing a pork chop sandwich to get you a drink of water. When I think about it, you probably knew that, and was giving me a little poke. I am so glad you read the whole post. It's nice that you caught the part about "full & free expression". Well Freeman noticed it too, and although I hate to say it, so did Solomon. LOL


CareyCarey said...
OH NO! I went away for a moment and 2 of my best blogging friends have met at the bar.

FreeMan said...
@Carey - C'mon I wasn't going against Rippa as I was just speaking for myself. I'm trying to respect the post and your site so when he makes his comment I'm not looking for anything. On my old blog I wrote that the Nerds have taken over and this is another one of their babies. Text messaging online and gathering friends. I mean the whole Nerd Revolution is about getting PSUEDO friends all over the world to see that you ate a great chocolate cake. It's the ultimate brain diversion to read what people say every 3 minutes so you won't concentrate on anything real.I don't mean to offend anyone as this is just my opinion. Besides another form of personal BS celebrity it's just 140 characters of garbage.

CareyCarey said...
No Freeman, my comment had nothing to do with your position. although I think I said that, I probably didn't properly express myself. While I was addrssing/writing your first post, along with some of the others, all the other posts hit the board at the same time. It appears as if I was addressing the last few post but I was not. When I said "I had a feeling this would happen, I simply meant I knew your take on drive-byes, because we had talk about in previous discussion. I remember (when I first started blogging) you voiced some concerns about people blogging for all the wrong reasons.Nawl man, remove that from you mind. I know you're a stand-up guy. And that you respect the house. We alright.My "I KNEW IT" was an an expression of joy that somebody agreed with me. It just fell on the board at the wrong place and at the wrong time. It had nothing to do with anything else.My apology for the confusion.Where is Big RiPPa? He got me up in here apologizing and shit.LoL

LoudPen said...
@Freeman, Your welcome. I always try to be civil especially because we don't each other like that & I didn't want you to think I was on that other ish. Anywho, I respect your opinion of Twitter & it takes a minute to find what your Tweet niche will be. I think you should stay with it a little longer & if you still hate it, then, give it up.@Carey, you know I take things to heart, it is my best/worst quality. So, I'll keep in mind that you just like to tease me & ruffle my feathers. Anywho, glad I'm still in the running for the Ms. Carey title.


CareyCarey said...
Yeah Long Pen, that's what I do....ruffle a few feathers. This medium is hard on me. The voice can project many emotions that the written word can not express. A seven word sentence can be expressed seven different ways through the spoken word. Especially if a facial expression is riding shotgun. Personal cadence and breaks are missing with the written word. If a person is smiling and laughing while saying sometime, it's obvious they are in a moment of joy. Yet if a person can't see me smiling and laughing so hard that I am farting on myself, it's hard to convey those emotions. For instance, what am I doing right now. Are my eyes wide open with a look of dismay. Is my head turned away from you, giving you the impression that I am not paying you any attention. If I say "right", am I saying right like I agree, or "right", like get the hell out of here. Or is it a questioning "right" like I am trying to think while you are giving me instrutions. this medium is hard on me because I miss the use of my hands, my eyes, my head, my voice, and the abilty to play off the emotions of the individual or persons I am addressing.So Ms. Long Pen, we are cool. although I am not a cusser (written word I do) if I say "F" you with a smile on my face, I don't mean it like F**k you and the horse you rode in on.Okay, what am I doing right now? Well, am smiling. Am not laughing am just smiling.In short, I am not a writer, I am a speaker. If you ever want to hear one of my speeches, let me know.

FreeMan said...
Put up the speeches bruh! I got the podcast going so you can hear my emotions in the podcast. Oh yeah don't sweat offending me or me misinterpreting anything. I know even if you direct something toward me it's to teach not to scold. I have a healthy ego but I can see the bigger picture!


Kit (Keep It Trill) said...
Damn that was a funny post! Laughed from beginning to end b/c it's so true! Hell, I just blogrolled ya azz, you good. Hugs to Rippa and your guest post b/c that's were I found out about you






Wednesday, June 23, 2010

A PINCH OF IGNORANCE and A WHOLE LOT OF SENSE. I'll Take The Christian.


VS... IGNORANCE, FEAR

AND










If I was standing at the beginning of time with the possibility of taking a kind of general and panoramic view of the whole of human history up to now. I would take my mental flight by Egypt and I would watch Gods children in their magnificent trek from the dark dungeons of Egypt across the red sea through the wilderness on toward the promise land and in spite of it’s magnificence, I wouldn’t stop there. I would move on by Greece and take my mind to Mount Olympus, and I would see Plato, Aristotle, Socrates, Epicurus, and Aristoclea assemble around the Parthenon, and I would watch them around the Parthenon as they discussed the great and eternal issues of reality... but I wouldn’t stop there. I would go on even to the great hey day of the roman empire and I would see developments around there through various emperors and leaders... but I wouldn’t stop there. I would even come up to the day of the renaissance, and get a quick picture of all that the renaissance did for the cultural and ecstatic life of man, but I wouldn’t stop there! I would even go by the way that the man for whom I am named had his habitat and I would watch Martin Luther as he packs his ninety-five thesis’ on the door at the church of Wittenberg... BUT I WOULDN’T STOP THERE! I would come on up, even to 1863 and watch a vacillating president by the name of Abraham Lincoln, finally come to the conclusion that he had to sign the emancipation proclamation. BUT I WOULDN’T STOP THERE! I would even come up to the early thirties and see a man grappling with the problem of the bankruptcy of his nation and come with an eloquent cry that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. BUT I WOULDN’T STOP THERE. Strangely enough I would turn to the Almighty and say if you allow me to live just a few years in the second half of the twentieth century, I WILL BE HAPPY! Now that’s a strange statement to make, because the world is all messed up, the nation is sick. Trouble is in the land, confusion all around... that’s a strange statement. But I know somehow that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars. And I see God working in this period of the twentieth century, in a way that men in some strange way are responding, something is happening in our world. The masses of people are rising up. And where ever they are assembled today, rather they are in Johannesburg South Africa, Nairobi Kenya, New York City, Jackson Mississippi, Atlanta Georgia, Or Memphis Tennessee, the cry is always the same... We want to be free.

I am going to stop there. Black History Month is long gone, and some of you may have recognized those words of Dr. Martin Luther King. I am not big on Black History Month, for various reasons, but I am not going there. I am more concerned with championing the words of Dr. King, and addressing an issue that I ran into this morning. Well, actually, in this post I will try to address a few issues... sort of. They are tied together but lets see how this goes.

I think it's safe to say that we all have pain, turmoil and troubles. Some of us have weight problems and high blood pressure to a point that our lives are in jeopardy. Being over-weight, to any degree is never a good thang. Some of us have baby momma problems and babies daddy problems. Then there are those that have drug and alcohol problems. To ease our pain and solve our problems, some of us look to Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers. Others run to marriage & family counselors for tips on how to do the right thang. Doctors, phychiatrist and treatment centers are frequently a source of temporary relief. To a large degree, doctors and psychiatrist are nothing more than legal dope dealers. Their one stop prescriptions that temporarily impedes the daily stress of life, may keep the boogieman away for a day or two, but woe is thee. In most cases the elephant is waiting in the morning.


Legal addiction is what I call it. The 12 step program, in and of itself, does not work. I sure wouldn't tell anyone to stop right there. Go there but don't stop there. It's really a dismal failure.

The above MLK passage was taken from a very long speech. I don't even know it's title, so I am going to refer to it as "But I'm Not Going To Stop There".

Why do we stop before we find real answers?

I wouldn't be foolish enough or arrogant enough to tell anyone how to solve their problems. However, I do believe that many of us stay in our misery because we simply do not where to go or where to find real answers. The championed escape routes are filled with misinformation and pitchmen offering half baked solutions. Jenny Craig might as well be called Craig's List, because a person has the oppurtunity to pick their own poison as she gently picks their pocket. Hey, it only cost 20 dollar to start. But, start what?!


Treatment centers have become parking lots for drug dealers of the professional variety. Insurance companies are becoming increasingly aware that treatment doesn't work, so the New Jack drug dealers have joined hands with treatment centers to continue their smoke and screen of successful recoveries. Their new cry is "if the person would have stayed on his meds, "this" wouldn't have happened". See, that's the slick move. They give a person a mind altering drug that does not get them high, and then, tell them to continue to take it. And, now they have a NEW very dangerous drug dancing in their heads. That's like giving a rapist a rubber blow-up doll. It's not going to work.


The overweight person or the family in distress or the addicted person, and many other lost souls, have become victims because they simply did not know where to find the right answers. They are not at fault, but they suffer with good intentions. Even at church, sometimes the answer are not there.

What is the right thing? Why should I do the right thing and where do I find the right answers?

Well, this morning I was visiting Freeman's Blog.
He inspired this post. His post was titled "misleadus".

In essence it was a knock on preachers and the whole christian philosophy. The following is some of his words and some of the other comments. But first, I told him that I had a few problems with his comments, and he was cool with that. He said, "Brother Carey – You know I welcome the challenge. Maybe I can learn something new? If not at least it’s fun debating the undebatable huh?

See you after PTL aka Praising The Lord!"


One comment: "Say what you want (all of y’all) but church is bullshit. The exact same bullshit that kept our ancestors in slavery. That’s why I’ll be sleeping late Sunday morning instead of rushing out to sit next to a bunch of fake ass hypocrites that know very little of and actually practice even less of the book that is supposed to be the basis of how they live their lives"

Freeman: Now I usually go light on religion because I know it’s a emotional thing for a lot of people. If you criticize the motherfuckers leading it someone says you shouldn’t follow the leaders. If you criticize the book then motherfuckers don’t want to investigate it as fact. If you introduce evidence that it’s based off old Ancient Egyptian religion then motherfuckers think the devil planted it there. If you question the church saying if it’s so damn good why isn’t it cranking out righteous motherfuckers then people say humans are imperfect.

Freeman:

'Motherfuckers go to church out of tradition not to learn anymore. So the preacher now becomes the guru instead of guest speaker. We all know with the wave of his mighty hand he could have hundreds of people picking up trash in their own neighborhoods but instead we get a whole bunch of singers hoping to get on American Idol. A person is usually judged by what they produce but in the case of the church since we don’t understand the power of God we can’t see it.


Well, at first I told Freeman that I wasn't going to get in that conversation but I went back after I thought about it a little longer. I don't think we should try to figure it out. I believe an abundance of acquired knowledge is only as good as what we believe, and more importantly, what we remember. I told him that I was going to write a post and quote him. He said cool, and the following is my reply.

BUT IF NOT!



You see there's what is you may call an if faith. And there is a Though faith. And the permanent faith, the lasting, the powerful faith is the though faith. Now, the if faith says that if all goes well, if life is hopeful, prosperous and happy, if I don’t have to go to jail, if I don’t have face the agonies and burdens of life, if I’m not ever called bad names because of taking a stand that I feel that I must take, if none of these things happen, then I’ll have faith in God. Then I’ll be all right. Now that’s the IF faith!


And the thoughfaith says that though things go wrong, though evil is temporarily triumphed, though sickness comes and the cross looms, nevertheless, I’m gonna believe anyway, and I’m gonna have faith anyway. Though the waters they off-roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake were the swelling thereof, the lord of host is with us, the God of Jacob is our refuge.

Religion is not a bargaining matter. Religion is not a bargaining experience. It’s not a commercial relationship. No great experience exists in a bargaining atmosphere. Think of friendship, think of love, and think of marriage. These things are not based on if, they’re based on though. And these great experience are not based on a bargaining relationship, not an if faith, but a THOUGH faith.

Somewhere along the way you should discover something that’s so dear, so precious to you, and so eternally worthful, that you will never give it up. You ought to discover some principles. You oughta have some great faith that grips you so much, that you will never give it up. Somehow you go on and say, I know that the God that I worship is able to deliver me, but if not, I’m going on anyhow. In the final analysis if you do right to avoid pain and to achieve happiness and pleasure, then you are not doing right. Ultimately you must do right because it’s right to do right.

You must do it because it has griped you so much that you are willing to die for it, if necessary. I say to you this morning, if you have not found something so dear to you that you will die for it, than you are not fit to live.




I don't believe church should be about the preacher nor the people that go there. I've come to believe that religion is not about Heaven or Hell. I personaly believe it's a way to move away from my own thinking, and thus find a better way to do things right. My history tells me that when I rely solely on myself, I find myself in lonliness and a world of trouble. When I read the bible, it shows me how to do things right, for all the right reasons. I don't suffer fools lightly. By no means have I arrived, but I believe I'm looking in the right place. I've been places that I do not wish to return to.

Can ignorance and fear, and being too dang smart, be a road to constant suffering? Where do you find relief?

Why do you do the right thing?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I SHOULD SLAP YOU. THEY WERE MUCH MORE THAN COONS!


The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Okay, so my lips are big and my head is long, but who are you calling a coon?


Look at me, I am as helpless as a kitten in a tree. I feel like I am hanging on a cloud. Well, I realize you can't see me but I am hyped today. I am pumped, I am stoked, I can't control my emotions, and I'll tell you why.


If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does that mean I am forever linked to the DNA of my biological family? Does it also mean I am a product of my environment? If all that be true, Holy Mackerel..... I'm in trouble. But I am too much in love with my family to sweat the small stuff.

Did I mentioned that I was dripping with anticipation. In laymen terms, that means I might go on another long journey. If you'd like to come along, I am going to visit a family friend.

My family has spread it's wings in an array of social and economical playing fields. Today I am going to stop by the house of my uncle Kingfish. He has past away. Some of you may know him. His real name is Tim. He is the brother of my grandfather. He played the part of George Stevens, aka Kingfish, on the early television series Amos & Andy. Yes, that's my family tree. He was raised in the same small town that I once called home. This is not a story of family barbecues, nor a tale of bedside chat. This is a story of messages from the past.

I have a collection of the old program that I've shared with my children. Many talking heads have vilified the series as coonery at it's worst. They harped to the extent that it was banned from television. Some of those bobbing head negroes that have a propensity to look through the blues eye of other cultures, seem to have forgotten their past. But let me move forward.

How about these lyric, lets see if they ring a bell.... Temporary layoff/ good times/ easy credit ripoff/ good times/ ain't we lucky we got them/ GOOD TIMES!

WTH, what's good about easy credit ripoff! Did I hear a subliminal message? Can I say DYNAMITE!

How about this one: Beans don't burn in the Kitchen {no mo'}/ grits don't burn on the grill {no mo'}/ took a whole lot of crying/ just to get up that hill {what hill?}/ Now we up in the big league {what league?}/ took our our turn at bat/ it's you and me baby/ and ain't nothing wrong with that/..... We MOVIN' ON UP.


Hold up, wait one minute, don't go anywhere. What the hell was "that"? I mean, to start with, George Jefferson was Archie Bunker's special kind of fool. Sure, George was given a bone by being allowed to say "HONKY HONKY HONKY". But what businessman runs around doing the slop and yelling honky. Give me a freakin' break. George Jefferson made Kingfish look like a choir boy. And, what's this "movin' on up" thang? I mean, the brotha had 2 cleaners on the south side of Chicago. Do I hear a few more subliminal Messages? Lets move on down the road.

The last time I checked, I didn't see any of the following "themes" in the Amos & Andy series, and I've seen all of them.
I didn't see homosexuality, drug use or gun play. In an episode called "Kingfish finds his fortune", Amos and Kingfish had a argument. They squared off to fight. They waltzed around a table for about 30 second until both got so tired - they sat down. Oh the horror of it all. I shake with fear when I even think about that kind of violence. NOT!

I never saw wife swapping or domestic violence in that series. I am yet to see one black person call another black person N**ga. I know I didn't see grown men salivating over the buttock of underage girls. Lord knows I didn't see any images of a grown man dressed in drag. WAIT! Did you hear that? Shhhhhush, listen, be quiet, I believe Tyler Perry has walked into the room ?

Opps, can we go there? Can we walk down his street? Why not, lets go. But, maybe we should first ask those that said Amos & Andy sent out destructive messages. Maybe we should ask them to define racism. Come to think of it, I am not going to waste my time dissecting the blatant sewer bowl of the wonderful world of Tyler Perry films. Well, not until those same aforementioned bobbin' head Uncle Toms & Tomettes compare them to the Amos & Andy series.

Although Kingfish could be considered a huckster, and a con man, he didn't sell dope and he didn't steal from his fellow man. Nor did he cheat on his wife. Usually he paid for his misdeeds, and there were messages of redeemtion. Speaking of his wife, she wasn't Hattie McDaniels or Butterfly McQueen, and we all have images of their mammy ways. They are indelibly carved in our brain. Can anyone say mammy rags and ultra passivity. Mrs. Stevens role was unlike many roles given to our present queens of beauty. Who can forget the role given to Halle Barry in Monsters Ball? Can anyone say "flip flop whore". Kingfish's wife and mother-in-law were deceit hard working black women. Without Sapphire, Kingfish may have been a lost man.

Today I am thinking about my family and our first black president and the road that got us here. A part of me was a pioneer of black consciousness - one of the first black faces on television. A part of me is the first black face to lead the USA into a new world. Being first can be a thankless position.
Depending on who's writing history, "first" can be erased from history, and replaced by the banter of it's supposite ill effects. Slavery seeps into my mind. A silent and lazy mind can be convinced that new is better than old, or "old" is not worth talking about. Without a first, there can never be a second.

When I go down memory lane with my children, I suggest they seek the good and leave the bad behind. I believe it's important for all people to champion those that have gone before them. At least seek first to understand. Knowledge is king, without such, a person is left to the whims and opinions of another person, who may not have their best interest at heart.

My uncle's house is no longer there. A Martin Luther King Center sits in it's place. The home is gone and so is my uncle, but his memory is alive. It's in me.
Take a peek behind me. Is it dark back there? You'll have to tell me because I am not looking for the bad stuff.

What's in your tree? Which way will your apple fall? I've heard it said that if a person doesn't stand for something, they will fall for anything. Holy Mackerel!
RiPPa said...
Carey, watch my blog tonight. I have an answer back post in response to your guest post by one of my readers.It jumps off at 8PM

Maxine said...
Don't forget, Carey, that you too are a part of this progress.


uglyblackjohn said...
Almost all fortunes can be traced back to some misdeeds (bootlegging, slave ownership, whatever) - but if playing a ficticious character is the worst of your family's problems, you're doing alright.

FreeMan said...
I would like to say I come from a long line of Hustlers! That would be degrading to the fact that all my grandfathers stories and great uncles and all the men in my family all did what was needed to survive. No apologies, not even a lot of stories until I lived a bit of it on my own and then they said how they related.When all the men in my family died they were all in the service. They all made sure they weren't buried with that fucking American flag. Even recently as I was sitting with my great uncle he told me to make sure those devils didn't put it on his grave.So where does the apple fall. Unlike most Black people we have our family history intact going back almost 150 + years. Pictures, plots of land and all. We have the names of the people who raped the women, the US gov't not giving my family the proceeds from my family dying in WWII and a hidden past that makes all of angrier than road rage. We were the nation before the Nation!So the apple didn't fall to far away from the tree in my family. We aren't trying to be part of it, we actually lived it. I'm just the next generation of men who came up never forgiving and never forgetting!


Keith said...
My late Uncle..My father's brother used to come over our house on Christmas..(By "our", I mean the house that I own, that I live in with my wife and formerly my daughter.) and play his collection of Amos and Andy VHS tapes all day long. My daughter didn't like them and would often look for an excuse to leave the house after dinner. It was Christmas,so I didn't stop her..But I got into em, found em hillarious and was rarely if ever offended by them. They were no more offensive to me than the ThreeStooges were to Jews.I agree...Some of these Black intellectuals who put Amos and Andy and Stephin Fetchit and all of those folks down forget..that this is where we came from...You would think that we would do better now, but a lot of these rappers and other cultural icons are guilty of worse coonery and bufoonery.I touch on this in the blog post I just finished writing for tomorrow.("A Tale of two Beefs") Check it out if you get a chance..You and I are on the same accord somewhat.You'll see.As usual..Hell of a post...See,I knew you couldn't walk away from this game..I never ever thought of it! -:)

FreeMan said...
Look there is always a conflict of what should be the model for Black America. So depending on how the person grew up they see things differently. Most things called buffoonery or coonery usually come from people who probably were called KingFish when they were at work. Now my mother thought it was funny and has a whole bunch of dirty records that aren't PG.I once asked her doesn't she find them embarrassing to us. She said you can only be embarrassed if you care what other people think.

CareyCarey said...
Yeah RiPPa, that was wild.Wasn't that whole debate something like the message in this post. people only hear or see what they are looking for.Maxine, you're so deep that I don't know how to respond. Maybe I should say thank you?Uncle Black, although I my have joked about my DNA, I have no ill feelings about my past or those of my family. But truth be told, when the family stories are passed down to future generations. My story might be one of the "don't do that" stories. FreeMan, wow, you went deep, but that's what I like about you. You get to the root of the problem. It sounds like your apple (tree) is bitter sweet. But the seed is still intact.Keith, I can so relate to your uncle and the children. My children didn't really embrace the series. It's a different culture.The root of my post was just that. The question is.... where have we gone? Who's deciding what's good for us and or children. I spoke of subliminal message. Well, the mind is a terrible thang to waste. More so, to watse on another's opinion.That leads me back to FreeMan:"I once asked her doesn't she find them embarrassing to us. She said you can only be embarrassed if you care what other people think"Double Bingo. It's a rap.

CareyCarey said...
Keith, it's been very difficult for me to enter your site. Pop up blockers or something.


Kit (Keep It Trill) said...
Amos and Andy were cool, and anyone who takes time to watch their old series on YouTube will be surprised. I use to watch them as a young kid, and my parents would laugh so hard. The NAACP stabbed them in the back for not being "assimilated" enough. Grass roots black folks were pissed. NAACP still doing that shit.


CareyCarey said...
Hey Kit, thanks for coming back. You know what. I didn't even know they were on Youtube until the other day! Yeah, although I have family pictures, I wanted one of the whole cast. I'd never seen the one in which the whole cast was introduced before the first episode. Good looking out.


LoudPen said...
I need to watch an episode of Amos & Andy before I form an opinion b/c since I've never seen the show I was little lost on this post. I loved Freeman's comment that you can only be embarassed if you care what other ppl. think. So deep. And Carey, check your email. I've sent you two emails. Luvs ya!




Monday, June 21, 2010

OH!!! YOU WANNA PIMP SLAP A MOTHERFU*KER!


Who saw that Neo-Negro Steve Harvey on BET? I mean, who watched BET’s 10th anniversary of gospel? Well, let me ask, which one is the best actor, Steve Harvey or Jessie Jackson? Which one of those leading Negro's gets the award for the less convincing tears? Come on, Steve Harvey may be a good comedian and a best selling author, but a great actor he is not.

Why did the old owl, Stevie (I wonder) Harvey, subject us to those fake ass tears - huh? What made that boy believe for one minute, that we wanted to see his ugly ass drop 10 minutes of tears? More so, what the hell was he crying about? It couldn't have been about remorse, gratefulness or repentance.

Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe Jessie Jackson’s tears had some sibilance of realness. We all remember the candid shot of him during the presidential inauguration. But WTF was Steve (The Rabbit) Harvey crying about?

Let me set this up. Toward the end of the show, Mr Harvey was mentioned for his 10 year commitment to the gospel show. Okay, I got that. And the Reverend Ike and Jim Baker was doing their thang for 50 years... but I digress. Now, aside from the other “well-wishers”, like sponsors, Donnie McClurkin and Fred Hammond came out to sing over Stevie Wonder, I mean Steve Harvey. But couldn’t Mr Harvey see that nobody was buying his tears? I mean, Stevie could have seen that, and he's blind.

Donnie McClukin sang “We All Fall Down”. Now check this, “We all fall down, but we get up/ for a saint is just a sinner but we get up”

Listen, I don’t know what Steve heard, but during McClurkins performance, Ol Stevedore really stoked the engines. But his 4th wife (yes 4th) was sitting next to him, and I swear I heard her whisper.... “Nigga, cut that shit out, you’re embarrassing me”.

But see, Steve wasn’t done. After a short commercial break, Mr Harvey came back to the stage and slapped us one mo gin. This Mfer couldn’t leave it alone. This quasi-part-time-pulpit-pimp, had the nerve to fix his face in a strained effort to grunt out one more tear. But even his dusty ass soul couldn’t muster up one more drop of fake-ass-knish. He crunched his face and mumbled a few words, and then slithered off the stage.

I don’t know, maybe it’s me, but I don’t like being pimp slapped - I never have. But maybe that’s what I get for turning on BET. I mean, this post is not about BET, and I don’t write much social commentary, but they had a hand in that mess. So yeah, please please please Steve Harvey and BET, would yawl please take your foot out of my ass and stop pimp slapping me!

FreeMan said...
Crocodile tears huh Carey? You know I didn't watch it and now I'm glad I didn't. The Harve has got a lot of our women folk enchanted so I don't think those tears were for us as much to show the womenfolk he is a good Christian Man. His 4th wife is proof that he isn't but hey overlook that because everyone makes mistakes (Not 3 times but God forgives and so should you)!P-Diddy Harvey danced across the stage, did his raisin in the sun best and got out of there with a Oscar for best performance. Damn I got to pick up some of these skills.


LoudPen said...
Man, I can't even get caught up with BET or Steve Harvey's silly ass. That's nothing but foolishness over there. Anywho, I just wanted to drop by and say I loved the rant and happy new year & all those other holidays.


SLC said...
Thanks CareyCarey.Only BET can put on a Gospel show that makes saints cuss.


CAREYCAREY Said:

@ SLC. Yeah, I thought this post deserved my thug blog voice. You know I did A post about the seperation of the man and his craft. I don't know if you joined in on that discussion? Anyway, aside from Stevo, I was entertained. I see The Old Black Church had a few concerns. In fact, while visiting Ann's blog, and reading other blogs from her roll, I noticed a 50/50 split.

@ Freeman, Yeah, looooong crocodile tears. Nawl man, you don't want to pick up that mess. Well, you get what you ask for. But his wife didn't look too bad. I mean, I'd buy her a coke and french fries. Well, if she wasn't married.What's up Long Pen. Come on now, you know you love BET. You're too young to have realized that mess is bad news. But see, I usually do not go there, but I love gospel music.

jjbrock said...
Carey I could not have said it any better:)I love the way you put it.

LoudPen said...
I may be young but I have certainly realized there is nothing but foolery over at BET. Oh wells, I guess I'm just wise for my years.

RiPPa said...
Did he even give a speech or anything? I didn't watch the show but I'd like to know what he had to say to support his emotional outburst.

Nicki_nik said...
LOL See it's been a minute since I came up to your spot and this is what you greet me with? Freakin' hilarious! This is why I don't watch BET anymore, when the Gospel shows start with the coonery you know its time to let it burn like Usher..haha! I love you CareY!Nicki-Nik!


CareyCarey said...
HEY Nik Nak! What's up baby.I have to admit, I too laugh everytime I read that post. Even though I wrote it, when I get to the part about his wife telling him to sit his ass down, I see the look on her face. Nicky, I don't know if you saw that fool, but when he came back on the stage for his curtain call, he tried to drop a tear. Let me tell you, those big booty lips of his started quivering like those of the flying monkeys... from The Wiz!Evileen should have came out and flushed his ass :-)I swear, that Nigga is "living like he's bullet proof"Opps, you don't know nothing about that (song).*lol*

♫Hershey's Kiss♫ said...
Well I didn't get caught up in the hype of BET's Gospel Celebration. I actually went to sleep after Ledisi and Kelly Price sang. I heard about the crying episode, but I'm not gonna make a judgement. It's not for me to say if it is real or not. Right now BET and I are not compatible. Anyway I'm out