Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Hear Ye Hear Ye ...All Ni**gas Get Ready ...there's a train a coming!

Her Excellency EJS President of Liberia was recently in the states visiting a friend of mine. It was sort of a book promotion thing. I felt kind of dumb because I didn't know that much about Liberia.

Okay, I thought Marcus Garvey was the president of Liberia. Didn't he swindle a few black people with a promise of new Cadillacs in a new land. Wait, maybe that was Daddy Rich. Dang it, that's not even right, that was Richard Pryor ....wasn't it? Anyway, all I know was that some Negroes got together and got on a big boat and went to Africa. Don't get mad at me for saying Negroes because that what they were called back then. Yep, sambos, darkies,niggers and Negroes. Hey, I didn't make up the word.

But see, in all seriousness, I was lost about the history of Liberia. So I asked my friend Mocha a few questions about Liberia, the President and her book. Mocha from "In the Cafe with Mocha television show" was the presidents host. This was her reply :

"You should definitely try the book, Liberia has a very interesting history and she does a great job of laying the foundation so that you really understand the underlying reasons for their 14 year war.

She is a very cool lady, very intelligent and warm. She was on the John Stewart Show on Thursday and actually made him a Chief"

See, I didn't even know anything about a war. Well, I sort of heard about a war in Africa but I just throw them all in the same pot. I am not trying to be funny about that. I am sure there may be many that keep an eye on the homeland but I have to be honest and say ...I am not the one.

I asked a few more questions, she replied:

"Carey, the war was in its most simple explanation was about class. There are indigenous Liberians and what are called "Americo-Liberians" descendants of freed American slaves who were sent back to Africa with the permission/expense of the US Government. Of course many of these now freed slaves were generations removed from Africa and basically thought of the indigenous. It did not help that the US government established a government system that mirrored that of the US and placed the freed slaves in positions of power to rule over this newly settled land of Liberia. After years and years of simmering animosity as most oppressed people usually do, they rebelled. This led to 14 years of coups, corrupt government, and extreme poverty. When Ellen came into power she had a country that had no electricity or running water for 8 years, no school systems in place, 90% unemployment rate, debt 30 times more than the annual budget.

I looked at those statistics and was blown away. I looked at the poverty and the US governments part in that whole process. Then my mind went to a place few has ventured. What if the US got tired of black folk and decided to call them all in. Hold up now, let me finish. What if they preempted all programing and told all African Americans to report to "staging areas"?

Okay, we know most black people have 1 gun or none and 6 bullets. For the sake of argument, lets say several had a bunch of weapons. First they would tell all white folk to get out of the cities and then bomb that bitch. You feeling me? That would corral a bunch of negroes. All your white buddies would then be nothing but white ...not buddies, simply white, because they sure wouldn't run to the city with you. I don't know if you've driven across the US, but if you have, you know that there are miles and miles and miles of places that a brotha CAN'T hide. Shit, ask the Indian about that.

Don't forget about communications. Do I need to say how vital a role that plays in any ...ahh, war. A 30 day phone card is not going to get it. The Jewish community could blend in. Yep, all they had to do was change their names and take off that Star Of David. But black folks can't hide. Where are they gonna run? If they run to the West there's a great body of water called the Mississippi River. Uh huh, that's going to stop many right there. And, if some make it to the other side they will not be met by the underground railroad. Nope, cornfields and haystacks will be the name of the game.

How many airplanes does black folks own? Heck, how many black pilots do you know? Who is going to come to the rescue of the black man in America? Is the black man really needed? Affirmative action will not fly. The bill of rights and the civil rights will be null and void. Is the black man really needed? There will be jobs for everyone - white. Unemployment will be at it's lowest. No more BET to wreck the minds of the inquisitive white kids. White folks could turn on the TV and root for all the white guys shooting 3 pointers. Dunking will be banned. There would be no more debates about immigration because everybody that even looks like they ever kissed a dark skinned person would have to run for the hills.

I know this scenario might sound a little crazy but am just saying the black man needed in the US? Some might argue the contributions the black man has made on this country, like jazz and the peanut, but really? Who needs the black man to make more babies they can not afford nor feed? Who needs the black man to sell more drugs and increase the crime rate? Why doesn't America take the black man out of his misery before unemployment hits the levels of Liberia. Heck, they are already killing each other. Should the black man get ready because isn't there a train a coming? Do we need another million man march or HBO special about the plight of the black man. Should we call Cornel West and his boys to hold another round table discussion. Maybe we should just bitch and moan and cry and bullshit while telling others what "THEY need to do"

Yawl gonna make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here. Yawl gonna make me act a fool, up in here, up in here. Yeah, some think America can also do without rap music. To many niggas making money off that shit- that gutter bowl, jelly roll, laced with arsenic. I don't know, is it me or does America really need black folks?

Btw, Firestone has it's largest African plant in Liberia.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Aww Shucks must be a mistake, check the books.

I am not a gambler. I do not go to casinos or gambling boats. I've bought a few lotto tickets on a couple occasions but I don't really like games of chance. I did host a few crap games when I was in the Air Force but I was cheating in them. Yep, loaded dice and marked cards.

I've never really won anything but today I received an award. PPR_Scribe of and RiPPa of dropped the Noblesse Oblige Award on me.

I ran into PPR_Scribe at an African American Literature open discussion board. Like many open discussion boards, things can get a little messy but she stood out. She stood out because she refused to engage in the negative aspects of the board yet did not run and hide from it. Her sobering fact filled discourse paved the way to countless thought provoking debates. Although she is a very talented writer, I am more impressed by her wisdom and courage to tackle sensitive issues.

Verile' Parlant of Whose Shoes Are These Anyway who bestowed the award upon PPR_Scribe had this to say about her:
PR Scribe at This So-Called Post-Post-Racial Life: First of all, you've just gotta love the name of her blog. Second, she's a talented writer and professional who blogs not only social issues, but music, politics, culture, entertainment, and family. Good sense of humor too.
Did I mention that PPR_Scribe loves music and if you twist her arm she might play a soft tune on the saxophone. Swing by and check her out.

Other past recipients

Field Negro:

The recipient of this award is recognized for the following:

1. The Blogger manifests exemplary attitude, respecting the nuances that pervades amongst different cultures
and beliefs. 2. The Blog contents inspire; strives to encourage and offers solutions.
3. There is a clear purpose at the Blog; one that fosters a better understanding on Social, Political, Economic, the arts, Culture and Sciences and Beliefs.
4. The Blog is refreshing and creative.
5. The Blogger promotes friendship and positive thinking.

Per instructions, the blogger who receives this award must perform the following steps:

1. Create a Post with a mention and link to the person who presented the Noblesse Oblige Award.
2. The Award Conditions must be displayed at the Post.
3. Write a short article about what the Blog has thus far achieved – preferably citing one or more older post to support. (see below)
4. The Blogger must present the Noblesse Oblige Award in concurrence with the Award conditions.
5. The Blogger must display the Award at any location at the Blog.

Before presenting the award to others, I have to do the following:

In my header ....that is me sitting on the airplane ....a much younger me *sigh*. I thought it fitting to use that picture because I've been places that I do not wish to return to. Not just a place in time but in my heart and in my mind, there are places I can never return, thus "Carry Me Home".

Humor is a stable element of my thang I place my seriousness and foolishness upon it's wings. I've published a few poems, some of which are displayed on my blog.

I am yet to find a defined purpose for my blog, but I hope my posts inspire a deeper examination of the emotions we frequently do not wish to visit. More so, I'd hope my blog fosters a peek into the primary emotions that we seldom recognize. Through sharing parts on my life's struggles And ....I hope to spread the message that our past is not our future and there's something to be learned through the journey. I'd like to spread the word that someone else's thoughts can never hurt us's how we process them.

Sticks and stones can break our bones but words ........

Now on to the individuals I believe deserve this award and I am honored to pass it along to them.

RiPPa from was one of the first blogs that I visited when I first thought about blogging. But check this out. I have been slacking on my responsibilities of this reward and RiPPa hit me before I could finish my thang. So this is not a payback, it's a ni**ga laying on the couch ...not taking care of his business.

Let me back up. I have an aversion for pretentious folk. Did you hear me?! I said I have a profound distaste for phony folks. I stopped at RiPPa's site and noticed that he had a wealth of knowledge on several issues. That's why I call him Big RiPPa. I know he has a big head and fat cheeks but you know what am talking about. I noticed he didn't play to any particular crowd. He's a black man but he has no problem kicking a black man in his ass if he has it coming. He seldom gives his opinion without supporting facts and I like that. If you don't like to hear cuss words, keep your ass away from RiPPa's block because he's going to come with all the flavor necessary to get his point across in the most effective way. As Malcolm said, "by any means necessary". I don't know if he uses bad words around his wife and kids but that boy sure do cuss at his spot *lol*. He might be found doing deep social commentary or kickin' it about one of our so called "stars" but he's always going to keep it real while delivering a message underneath the laughs and excitement of his flow. Nope, he is not pretentious by any stretch of imagination. He's Big RiPPa and he's very deserving of this award.

Kieth from reminds me of my father. Although I believe I am older than him, his blog is a no nonsense place of comfort. It's my opinion, that if one finds them self in a group of like thinking individuals, it might be time to move around. However many people love to visit keiths blog and I've found out why. He's not dressing to impress. He also writes social commentary as well as special events in his life. He always has time to stop through others blog to spread a little love and words of encouragement. In my journey I've visited several blogs, some I've never returned to. I continue to visit Keith's on a daily bases. Some call him the maverick. I can ride with that. He says he always tries to keep it smuffy at his house. I don't know what that means but maybe that's why some call him the maverick *smile*.

Mizrepresent from is a published author of several books. I haven't been around that long and I take this award seriously, so she is my final selection.

Although she is a friend of mine, I am not giving her this award as some type of nepotism. Oh no! I have a lot of friends, some of which I wouldn't take to a dog fight. Anyway, I also fell into her presence on a different dance floor. I wanted to make her my lover but she wasn't having any part of that *lol*. I am just kidding about that *wink* but she was one of the individuals that encouraged me to start blogging. I stopped by her blog to see what it was all about. Well, you don't invite someone into your dirty kitchen and her spot is one to be championed ...very clean and very nice. She has God on her side and she's not to bashful to tell others about it. She shares her pain and struggles through life. She's a single black women that's standing tall. She writes poetry and spreads encouraging words through it.

Her whole life and blog epitomises what this award is about. Her friends like her and I am pleased to call her a friend. Check out her blog. I am sure you will leave with something of a positive nature.

I think it's so great for bloggers to show support and appreciation for each other in this manner ...really great!

As Porky The Pig would say, "da da da that's all folks"


Friday, April 24, 2009

Shut The F*ck Up! Stop telling me it's just yo' MF'in opinion!

If I were your mother, would you change your tune?
If I was your girlfriend, would you tell me true?
If I was your man, would you tell me 2?

One of my blog friends awarded me a honor the other day. I respect this person and I am yet to honor that award with an "acceptance" speech. I will soon get to that at a later date. In her letter describing me and my blog she mentioned that my writing is much like the words of an old uncle in the family. She said my stories sometimes meandered away from the central point yet, they left her with something to ponder and reflect on. I wrote her an e-mail telling her how much I appreciated being described as the old friendly uncle.

I buried MY uncle the other day. The family was there and I had a job to do. My cousin, his daughter, the lawyer from Chicago was there. The school superintendent from Plano, Texas was there. Mrs. Banks was there. She raised 10 children, one a police officer. He was there too. My cousin Shelly was there. She's a poet that advocates against domestic violence. Another uncle of mine is the retired pastor of the church in which the funeral was held ...he was there too. In fact, several pastors were there because our family is rooted in the community, we've been there since 1865. My cousin that gives me the hookup on the 5 dollar foot longs brought her kids with her. One of my brothers came through looking like Shaft. Yep, the Internet and the new wave fashions will never take him alive. There were a hand full of white people there as well. One of my uncle's sons is married to a white women.

I had prepared my speech after days of deep reflection. I looked over the diverse crowd and then decided that my speech may not be appropriate. I paused and decided to speak as a few of the commenters on my blog recommended. I decided to let god speak through me and tell nothing but the truth. See, that wasn't hard to do because my uncle always gave it to me with truth leading the way. My stories that I was prepared to tell may not have been understood by others but I knew they saw the same man that I did regardless of where they met him.

I did tell a few stories. I told the one in which he had to get me out of jail after I wrecked my brothers car. My brother was off to college and my parents were visiting him. I told another about how he showed me trust by giving me the keys to a van to drive his youngest son around his cleaners route ....AFTER I demolished my brother's car. His son has physical disabilities yet my uncle was planting a seed in the both of us. He was getting his son ready for a life that may not be fair to him but that he could get a job and do it well. He was letting me know that a person can make a mistake but we all need a second chance ...but there are consequences if you blow your chances. Oh yeah, he gave me a speech before he handed me the keys. I brought the van back and his son too. I even washed the van before returning it.

Hey, I have to me me. At this point in my post I have to say a little something. The person that gave me the aforementioned award seldom comments on my blog. See, we met on another "dance" floor. It's a place were things get a little messy ...sometimes. She doesn't generally change her strips, she's classy and fact based, but I sometimes act a damn fool. Well, I was wondering if she didn't want others to know we are friends. You know, some people change when they are around others. She would hit me privately by e-mail and tell me how wonderful a certain post was but only ran through and left a tip one time. I jokingly asked her about that and she said she's been blocked out of my blog or at least has had difficulties commenting. I raised my eyebrows at the excuse but I believed her. And maybe that's why she calls me the old family uncle because I don't know how to end this line of thought *lol*.

Oh, my uncle never changed. He didn't care if you were the city mayor or the wino on the street. He was the same to everyone. He stayed with the facts regardless of your associations or public standing. He was a good man, a mans man. He didn't care if a person was green or blue. If you were wrong, you were wrong. He didn't tolerate excuses or reasons why. He harbored a deep disdain for individuals who gave their opinion in a careless fashion. Some hide behind the words "it's just my opinion" as if they do not have to support their opinions with any valid supporting data or information. He once said to me that if a person does not take their opinion seriously enough to support them with a hint of care, then why should he even bother to listen. He said they didn't respect him so why should he waste his time being part of something he wouldn't pass on to another. He didn't cuss but he had a special name for people that gave their opinions in a willy-nilly fashion. He said they are "mushmouths". He said they talk like they have oatmeal in their mouth and that they are the only ones getting full. I love those old idioms/sayings our folks lay on us.

I bought into this ideology after sitting with him on many occasions. He would let me run my mouth on subjects I knew little about. At first I thought he was agreeing with me when he would say the words "is that right Darnie". Yeah, that my family nickname ...Darnie. I didn't catch it at first. I thought I was giving him information he didn't know about. But what he was telling me, or asking me was "is that right?". It wasn't an answer, it was a QUESTION. His reply made me question myself ....WAS that right.?

I changed my speech to make it fit everyone. Everyone might not have been able to relate to his years in the US Air Force. Some wouldn't know the importance of him being the first black man in our family to be the owner of his home. All wouldn't know about his health struggles. He shared his pain with a select few. Many didn't know that he was an adopted child. I knew that he could no longer participate in his favorite sport of bowling because of doctors orders. Many didn't know why he became a golf addict. He was a lousy golfer but his determination to be a better golfer wasn't matched by many. I simply told the crowd that the man I know is the man they knew. If he was your friend, you had a good one and he remained your friend regardless of your title ...old and new. Some get tripped up in life and lose their jobs and the titles that go with them. Some get divorced and are shunned from the family. But he was always the same.

Others spoke a few words. I didn't know he painted the whole church on his dime and on his own time ...without pay. I didn't know that he found my aunt over 60 years ago. That was really surprising because my aunt is a handful ....oh buddy. I am sort of kidding about that, but my mother's sisters (eight of them) love to run their mouths. Yes sir, they can get it on. I wonder if that's a black women thang or what? Anyway, I watched him stay composed through the "storm" and simply say her full name, and she would stop talking. I liked that. I don't know how he trained her but just the the sound of her full name made her shut her damn mouth *lol*.

I hope I didn't bore you with my family stories.
I am going to miss my uncle. I hope I did him proud while sending him on his way home.

Oh, btw, my Internet friend and I are all cool. We are like peanut butter and jam stuck on the side of a jar. She laughs at me and I laugh with her. Don't get it misunderstood.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Death! ....In The Cheap Seats

Death! What is it good for?

Most individuals pay taxes. We all will die.

Today I am laying out my black suit. My favorite uncle passed away; he was 81 yrs old. I've been asked by my family to say a few words. I've been here before.

I gave the eulogy at my father-in-law's funeral. He died 9 months ago. My favorite aunt passed away 3 months ago. I spoke at her husbands funeral over 20 yrs ago. I did the same at hers.

My uncle was a good man. I've been searching for words to say. I will be standing in front of my family and friends. I want to say what is right, NOT "say" it right.

Death can be a learning process for the living. I've had 2 experiences that
required me to look deep into the meaning of death and the lessons that may be learned from it.

My wife passed away from cancer. From her diagnosis to the end, it probably was one of the better parts of our lives together. When the end is inevitable, life takes on a different meaning. False images of success and love lose their value.

Two weeks before her passing the doctor told me that there was nothing else they could do. He suggested I take her home from the hospital. My wife was in great spirits. On the surface one couldn't tell she was dying but the end was near. I left the hospital to prepare a place for her in our home. A special bed was needed along with several machines that needed monitoring day and night. I felt overwhelmed. When I arrived back at the hospital, my wife greeted me with a smile. She was strapped in a gurney waiting for me to take her home. We had traveled many roads together and now I felt alone. I didn't know how I was going to do all the things necessary to keep her comfortable. I didn't want to show my fear but my face couldn't hide it. My wife asked me what was wrong. I told her that I didn't think I could do this. She looked at me and gave me another smile. She said we will do the best we can. When I heard the word we, I knew she was worried about me. We would travel the road together like we've always done before. She was prepared for her next journey.

Over the next 2 weeks our communication was reduced to a small movement of her toe. She could hear me but she couldn't speak. I slept underneath her bed with a string tied to me so I could feel her movements. She had faith in her god. She didn't fear death. It would be years before I found that same faith.

My father passed away under similar circumstances.

All my family is in town today. My uncle was a good man. I hope I can find the right message.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Is It Really A Cultural Thang???

I love being black. For the most part, we do not get hung up on small issues. We generally do not care what the man is doing down the street. That could be a good thing and a bad but we try not to get too involved with other folks business. We love being different. We all have our own walk and glide with our stride. We don't consciously bite off other cultures. We have some Negroes that wish they were white but I'll get back to them. We are not ashamed of our diet and will eat a chicken leg while standing right outside the chicken joint. Some might consider that to be impolite or classless but I get back to those negroes. We will fix up an old school ride and call it new. Some blacks would not be caught dead in a 88 Coupe de Ville, but I'll get back to those Negroes. We don't wait for Britney Spears to break out a new dance step and then copy her moves. We create new dance steps and new moves. Some of those steps/dances may not have the best of names but they're our names. I don't know if I like all the new names we are giving our children but again, they're our names. I think I don't like them because I can't pronounce them.

I don't know if it's a cultural thing but we do not cuss our parents. Some do but that's another story. Well, if we do, someone else besides our parents might kick us in our ass ...that is a cultural thing. I've seen white people going to church. Some dress like they are going bowling. I love going to church and seeing all my people looking their best. They may not have on tailor made clothes but they are going to put something with it and walk like a proud peacock. The sisters really be doing it. I had one sista ask me if her high hills were appropriate for church. I said they are shoes ain't they.

I love being black. We have rainbows of black. Crayola has not made enough colors to fit us. I started to do ol'Bubba from Forest Gump ...we got, blue black, red bone, high yellow, dookie brown, near white, deep chocolate, dirty red ...wait, is that a color or a n***as name? Are there many colors of white? I don't want to sound racist but is "old cracker" a color *smile*. Seriously, is ol'fey a color? What about pale face, that's not a color is it? I am not trying to be funny, I am really trying to find a shade of white. Oh, would off-white work? That's not white, that's off-white. We don't have a color called off-black. Well, we do but some might call that a negro.

I know some do not like the words negro and nigga. Some hate the words Knee-grow and nigger even more. I think it's a cultural thang. I understand, I'd hate to be called a motherfucker if I wasn't one. But if I was one, I might say I am a bad motherfucker's a cultural thang. I am not going to get in a debate about who can say nigga and all that mess. If the wrong person says it ...I just check'em and that's it, huh, what's the big issue. Don't talk about it, be about it. Is that a played cliche ..."don't talk about it"?

Is it a cultural thing that we seem to cuss more than other groups. I've been struggling with the cussing thang. I called a friend of mine that's a minister and asked his opinion on how cussing is viewed in the bible. He said it's not about the word because the bible was not even written in English. That statement caused me to pause. He said it's the spirit of the word being used. I gave him another quizzical look and he continued. He said man determined or defined certain word as cuss words. I started to tell him that he was a lying motherfucker and to get the fuck out of my face *lol* but I didn't, I listened for more knowledge. He said god's spirit is not to gossip or whisper about another. Okay, that was something I could work with. I asked him if that meant I could yell at a motherfucker and call him a motherfucker since I wasn't whispering. He laughed and said whispering, as applied to the bible is not about a person's tone while speaking. Now he had me all fucked up. I thought this was one of those "who's on first" kind of deals. He said a whisper is an untruth about another person. We went back and forth on this issue. It's a cultural thang, 2 black men kicking it in an open and honest way. I say motherfucker and he understands. He said, some of us in religion have taken the cussing thing too far and will not even say a word that they consider to be a cuss word. As if they are committing some kind of sin for simply speaking the word. I told him he was a bad motherfucker and he said thank you.

I've been to a few countries and some cultures piss me off. Well, maybe I am not looking at the big picture. I've never been to Iraq or Iran but them motherfuckers (excuse my language, am doing my blog thang) them motherfuckers come over here and talk crazy to a motherfucker. I wonder if they talk just as nasty to their own people? I am not going to spend a lot of time beating up Omar, but I had one of those guys tell me I had to spend a certain amount of money to use my debit card. Sears has never told me that. KFC has never told me that. Hell, Walmart has never told me that. I've ran through my favorite grocery store to buy a single donut and they've never told me that. Culture to culture, I wonder if they just like fuckin' with niggas?

I am glad my mother doesn't read blogs because I've been cussing my ass off up in here. Is the respect we give our parents a cultural thing? I see some white kids cussing their parents like it's the normal thing to do. When I see a black child slip and say a cuss word at their parents, I grab my cell. I know somebody is about to get beat down. One time I heard my father say fuck. He wasn't a cusser but he was playing bid whist with his partners. I looked over at my mother and my mother looked at my dad. Now, this is a cultural thing ....she didn't say anything to him. Oh hell nawl, not in front of other men. Any displeasure she may have been feeling, she took it out on me. She told me to get my little ass out of the room. And she said it with passion. I don't know about your momma but mine would get that ass where ever it stuck out. She would grab whatever tool necessary. One time I got spanked with a Barbie doll. I call it a spankin' but she wasn't always trying to hit that ass. Are you kidding me, when my mother was in her spanking mode, Walter Payton didn't have nothing on me. I think that's a cultural thing because I've seen many black women chasing their kids outside the house. Black women will get that ass right there, where ever that may be.

I love being black, I just hope the culture doesn't change to much. Well, when Farrakhan (love Farrakhan) started telling our people not to eat the pig, I got upset. Shit, I turned off the TV because I didn't want my mother to get any new ideas. See, I ain't got no shame about eating pork. I will tear a hole in a pig starting right at his asshole. Yep, I've been with some women that looked uglier than a pig so why not a pig *lol*. I don't ever want to see a day in which Micheal Jackson starts promoting face cream. I know, leave Micheal alone ...ABC, it' easy as 123 ...but I don't want our people to start lookin' like "HE". I love being black and I know in my heart that others feel the same way.

Friday, April 17, 2009

I wrote The Bible ...that's right's mine!

Is this the weekend? I try to write certain kinds of posts on the weekend when many are not around. Most are out barbecuing and doing family stuff. I can't just say these things to everybody. Heck, Mr. & Mrs. Office is probably to busy counting their money; they don't have time to slum over here. Plus, I have a few secrets to share. I don't just give my secrets to any ol'body. Some can't handle the truth.

The Bible ...I wrote it's mine!

Okay, so you have doubts but had to stop by to see what this fool was talking about. Maybe the word Bible was the catch. I probably should say something about that. Well, it's just that if someone is visiting to read scripture or throw their hands in the air and say Holly-Lu-Ya, you might want to get another sandwich ...on the plane. Yep, not that kind of party.

My mind is always racing. I think I could do a conscience stream thang blog 24/7 but I wouldn't want to bore anyone with that, but I have a couple of things on my mind that have been bugging me. I have to let them go and then get on with my thang. I 've noticed that many bloggers have huge blogrolls. I have a little something on my site and I was thinking about expanding. Well, I know this might sound funny but I wonder if other are like me. I worry about what appears on my blogroll. See, I was visiting this one dudes blog and thought I'd keep an ear to what he was saying, so I added him to my list. I awoke one morning and noticed a post titled "feminine guys" - right. I've always said I could care less what others do ...I don't mind and I don't care. But you know, I felt kind of funny with "feminine guys" rolling around on my blog *lol*.

Relationship are a funny thang. Sometimes they just don't work but there seems to be something about that other person that we wish we had back. Now I am not talking about taking them back into the fold. It's just some things about that person that we can never forget. It could be the way they always smelled good or the freshness of their breathe. Come on now, er'body don't take care of their mouth, you know what am talking about. Then there's the ex-lover that knew how to have a good time. Oh yeah, nights on the town, drinking, laughing and having a good ol'time. The stop at the greasy spoon just topped it off. But oh boy, I didn't want to go here but sometimes we wish they/I could tap it one more time ...huh. The sun rose as the clouds parted ....ooouuuweee, one mo ....a'gin.

We can't forget about Mr or Ms., got along with all your family. If it was up to some mothers, we'd still be with our ex. Our ex-lovers were hanging out with our brothers and sister more than us. How about that women or man that looked so fine. That's another type that's hard to let go. They complimented use so well. Others said you looked like a perfect couple. We didn't mind being seen with them. In fact, we liked showing them off ...that's right, this is mine.

If only for a minute or a few days, wouldn't we like to go back and say; hey baby, how ya doing, do you have any time ...a little time? I know we shouldn't go back there but relationships are funny thangs.

Did I mention the fact that I wrote the bible? How about Harry Potter, did I mention that too? See, I was looking at that mess Steve Harvey was in. I didn't know there were not copyright laws that covered book titles. Listen, I am not a thief although I've stolen a few things. Yep, been there ....and

paid a PRICE. But I am looking at this thing from a business aspect.

So, I can have a book with the same title of another and no harm - no foul? Hell, that sounds like money to me. You know I am a convicted bank robber, right? I am but that's behind me ....I paid a PRICE. But see, I was always told that if you are going to do something, then do it right. So when someone asked me why I robbed banks, the answer was simple ...that's

were the money is ...huh ...duh, case closed.

Well, I've rented some movies based solely on the titles. Stupid I know but I've done that. I've also bought books based solely on the cover. Stupid I know ...but I've done that. Now am thinking, if I splash a wizard on a book cover and called it Harry Potter, I know I can make some loot. Heck, I immediately thought about the Bible too. It is the best selling book of all time! Most don't read it. They have it sitting in their house but couldn't tell you a thang about it. And what about all those bibles in the hideaway hotels. Who reads those books while in the down stroke? Well, I did see that movie called The Reader. Wasn't that some mess. Ol'girl called it read and screw. I am not going to tell you what else she said, it's well, personal.

I am not going to leave a leaf unturned. Yep, am going to write some gay books as well, yes sir. I am thinking about borrowing a couple of those women from those stanky leg videos. I am going to pop them right on the cover of the book ....naked, groping each other. Listen, I am going to

misspell Zane's name and add a tiny disclaimer at the bottom of the book ...."Zane didn't do this". Did you peep that. I didn't say Zane didn't write this. Are you kidding me, I am going to write/play to win. As soon as Oprah champions another book I am going to write one just like it. See, that's the real trick. Since most will not have read the book, they will not even know the difference.

I hope you guys don't think I am kidding. I got my eye on the dictionary too. However, I think I can make more money with them Harlemcum romance books. That's right, Harlem Come. I can't leave my blackness behind and I want to be fair about this. Hey, if James Patterson can write about black folks I can write about white folks. That's right, Clear and Present Danger ...I wrote that. I am going to jump in with 2 feet. Some black folks only read books by black authors. I wrote a book called Paradise ....yep, Toni Morrison did too. The black renaissance books will not be able to hide. They say the best book ever written was Cane by Richard Wright ...I wrote that too. I love Langston Huges. I am sure others will like my book "The Ways of White Folk". That book will grab the militant crowd, especially if I throw in a quote from Angela Y Davis. They say poetry is dying but I am going to give it a boost with "songs of my father". That sounds like a Luther cut but it's gonna work. I don't even know if there is a book by that title. I think I'll just say it's inspired by Maya A.

I hope you guys took notes but I don't want anyone hanging on my jock. Remember, I wrote The Bible and Harry Potter too. Write your own damn book.

I know nobody read this, so I am safe. I am off to the library write another book.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Bible ....I Wrote it.

That's right, I wrote the bible and a few other best selling books. I am not God and this post is not about religion. Well, for one thing, God didn't write the bible and again, this post has nothing to do that subject. Go get your lawyers and your naysayer friends because I am going to set this book world on fire. Get ready, this is going to blow your mind. You might want to keep a pencil and paper at your side ....take notes. I'll wait for you to come back. Grab a sandwich and a favorite drink, I think this might be something we all can work with ....really! I am coming back, I have something to do. Look for the title "The Bible ...I wrote it ...It's mine"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

If you were my girlfriend ....would you?

I have often wondered why I and others are afraid to share
intimate details about our self.

I've often heard individuals say there are parts of their lives they will only share with a select few. The deep question is ....why?

I've said this before but if it was true then, it remains true today ...the way one goes in the way they will go out. Secrets, what are they good for?

I believe there's a universal fear that others will not like us or accept us if they knew intricate details of our past. I've come believe it's a vital mistake to concern oneself with what others may be thinking. For the most part, we will seldom have it right. An even deeper question is ....what if they are right? So what ...what changes?! Nothing .....nothing really changes ....nothing that truly matters!

Fear is a crazy thang. Frequently we do not know what's
at the root of it ....we really don't. Fear hides
underneath shame and blame. Shame and blame are weak.
They are like bullies in school yards. They finds those that are
afraid of them and don't know why. When they are exposed,
the bully runs away. What the real fear behind holding secrets about yourself? It's deep and many refuse to go there.

Prince posed the question, "if I were your girlfriend, would you....?

I am going to pretend that everyone reading this is my girlfriend.
With some reserves, I would like to tell you a few things about my past.

I was raised in the projects. It was a different time and a different place than the projects of today, but some things never change. Life was much more simpler then. Foot races in the street were an everyday occurrence. The ice cream man would come around. Several of the kids would run home to the disappointing words of we don't have any money. I have life long friends from that time period. However, many have succumb to the calls of the wild side. In fact, over 60 percent of the men from that housing project went to the penitentiary, many are dead. Some things never change. I remember 2 of my friends.

I often wondered why he just didn't stop. Skippy's dad was a wino, we called him Mr. Farley. Mr. Farley was a nice man. He was always well
dressed. However, Skip's dad would change. Some days he would sing to us in a voice that was purely mesmerizing while giving us money as if he was receiving pleasure from our listening. The next day he could just as easily be found wearing the same suit he'd worn to church the previous
day ....dirty and torn.

We never knew what Skip's mother did for a living but on many nights I and other neighborhood kids would gather outside of her church to listen to her and the other church members talk in tongue and shout about God, we called them Holly Rollers. Skip and I had a fight over a girl, kid stuff.

Life came roaring through. Skip feel into bad marriages and an alcohol problem. Skip is doing good these days. His early demons no longer plague him. He still has women problems but he's doing good.

Bobby was one of the older kids in the neighborhood. He was tough and could play the hell out of some baseball. He was my friend. He went to Viet Nam and to prison. I was in the Master Bathroom, Bobby was in the outer bedroom. I heard his cousin, Joy, call his name. I heard her ask Bobby, what had he done?! They were in town for a family reunion. Joy screamed for help, her face wore the signs of desperation. At that time, I had a fairly large home and invited Bobby to spend the weekend. There were others in the house. Many had checkered pasts. Benny never left my home....alive.

My father was the best man I've ever known. I can remember the day he was waiting for me at the kitchen table, it was 7am. The night before, my girlfriend Ann,called and said she was scared and asked if I would comeover. I fathered a child with Ann and she lived alone with our child. I lived in my parent’s home, a room to myself. My brothers were off to college and I loved my silence room. Before they left it was the three of us in a small upstairs room oldest brother, Gary slept on a hideaway bed other brother and I shared a bed. We always made fun of Gary because he had to fold up his bed every morning, while we sort of threw ours together.

I knew dad would be waiting for me. He was very strict about being on time. We had curfews and it was understood that they were not to be broken. He often told us that if he said 11 o'clock it didn't mean 11:01.We were not allowed to go out on weekdays unless it was to a sporting event. My father boxed and my brothers and I were involved in many sports. Regardless of the event ...if the witching hour passed could be found waiting at the kitchen table.

I opened the door with caution but as if nothing was wrong. I was prepared for my punishment .....or at least I thought I was. I assumed he would make me wash the dishes for a month or cut all the neighbors grass and that would have been okay .....he was sitting at the table ....he stared at me and without hesitation said, "boy, what do you think this is? I can't remember my father giving us a beating or whippings .....he wasn't that kind of father, yet he always demanded respect and we always gave it to him without question. I explained to him that my girlfriend heard noises in her new apartment and asked if I'd join her .....I saw a look in his eyes that I'd never seen before .....he wasn't mad, it wasn't disgust, it was fear and concern. He knew I was about to pass into a life that I was ill prepared to handle. He paused ....then said, son it is honorable of you to go and see about the welfare of your girlfriend and the child. I now what you to go upstairs and pack your things .....he dropped his head, raised it and continued ....we will not have a fatherless child in this family .....and it’s time for you to go raise your family. I'd never seen my father cry. A tear appeared in the corner of his eyes. I was a teenager ....Ann and I were not in love ....we were kids playing an adult game. I didn't plead my case ....I said okay and walked to my room ....I wasn't prepared for this new role as a man and a father .....I was a kid and I made mistakes. I am now reflecting on those mistakes. I married Ann, she is now gone ....she has gone home.

If you were my girlfriend, I may wonder what you think. But in the end it is what it is. Only a fool would be so foolish to "think" they knew what someone else was thinking. If you were my girlfriend or if I was lucky enough to be a casual friend, I might ask you if you cared to hear

I blog and I get silly
I blog and I get introspective.
I blog and I share
Sometimes I blog and I don't know why.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I'd hate to be a black woman.

I would hate to be a black women in America. Well, maybe I shouldn't say I'd hate to be a black women but, I have a renewed insight into their Struggle.

Lets face it, this is a man's world and there's a pecking order. My list may differ from others, but I think it's safe to say that white men - of any culture - is near the top. That does not mean they are the best at anything and everything, yet, the ball is in their court.

Let me cut to the chase, black women are somewhere near the bottom. I am not talking about their drive, motivation or the core of the women. I am talking about their struggles through life's issues, that are not like any other group.

I was talking to my friend Mizrepresents - a fellow blogger - and she allowed me to ask her a few questions about being a single black women in America. I've heard the complaints of women that say there are few black men in which to build a relationship and she was no different. I've sort of dismissed that sentiment because... well, I am not a women so I didn't really explore the issue. Miz always told me that she knows of several attractive black women that have their thang together, yet they still can't find a man.

I guess good black women that do not have men and desire to have one is not a myth. When I hear things of this nature I wish I was an octopus that could reach out to all black women - at least eight. That's a joke but as a man I feel as if something just ain't right. Good black women going to waste just ain't right. Again, I shouldn't say going to waste but something ain't right.

We also talked about how the pool shrinks when a women gets a little older. Not old like wearing "Depends" old, but even a black women in her thirties starts to realize that she might have to look hard at her morals, principles and to some degree, their belief in God, to balance the decision to contact with no contract.

I am from the Midwest and as far as I know, we do not have a large population of gay men. Well, it's not the thang - like it is in some cities like Atlanta. I know there are different lifestyles everywhere but Miz said that there's a problem with men on the down low in her city. I guess certain cities attract certain kinds of men. Wouldn't that be something? What if a women was convinced by her down low guy to have a threesome. Then, when the other party walked it it was Mandingo "Dolemite" Willie.... ouch! I've alway said that I don't care what stirs the juices of another but I am having a hard time with someone that can't make up their mind. What is this bi-sexual mess - huh. What? Do they need glasses or what? Poker or poke-hee, make up your mind.

But homosexual are straight, sex falls somewhere in the mix. It goes without question that most need the attention of another. But how fulfilling is a sex buddy? There has to be a let down after that encounters. On the other hand, I can assume some black women have arrived and do not consider sex toys as an evil no-no. I wonder if the satisfaction is the same and if using a toy could lead to some type of dependency? Is that a stupid question... I don't know? But I know some women use them as a bridge and a safety net. But does anything replace the need to share your life with someone? I mean, I think it's safe to say "sex" is not synonymous with love.

What is the black women to do? It's a fact; there are not enough good black men to go around. Aside from sex, there are a number of events in a black woman's life that she needs the company, comfort and safety of a black man. And having said that - needing and no one to fill the gap - I'd hate to be a black woman. I don't think I could handle the pain.

Who likes to compete for the attention of another person? Who wants to compromise their moral values to satisfy basic needs? I can not imagine being a black women in America. What would I do if I wanted to find love and get married, but the pickings were slim. I shudder at the thought. I worry about taxes and who is going to win the playoff, not if I am ever going to find love in all the right places. I wonder how it feels to think that there are others whispering about you because you don't have a man. I think that's a real issue. Loneliness is a killer and I have a new compassion for black women that can't find a good black man.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

He lies - She lies

I don't know if anyone has paid attention to the words on my header but it speaks to fear and standing alone on something that is not a popular opinion. I've heard it said that fear and faith can not coexist in the same heart. Faith is a topic all in itself. God is another topic that could be discussed or debated for many hours. I only mention those subjects because I have to lay the foundation for the subject on my post ...not to imply that I have anymore faith in god or believe in him anymore than the next man. I will eventually do a post on the subject of God and those that follow his words but not today. Even in saying I will do a post on that subject I do not wish to imply that I am someone that can quote Scripture or one that is living a life according to words of the bible. No ...that post is for another time. My post is not about God or faith it's about honesty and the lies we tell, to ourselves and to others. It's not a popular subject because as one character in a movie said, we can't handle the truth.
I mentioned God because most people will say they believe in God but a very minute amount of individuals actually believe in him. By that I mean, many can quote scripture and will praise him while someone is listening but few actually live by his words on a daily basis ....all the time and they are very much aware of their wrongdoing but rationlize their decisions. It's sort of like they have a God of convenience. Some even twist the words of the bible to fit their own plan. Am I being a whisperer?, I am telling the truth. The truth hurts and a form of pain is admitting that I may be wrong about something. A part of that pain is admitting that someone else is right. Few will ever go there because it's uncomfortable.

I think I have arrived at the subject of this post, "He lies - She lies". This actually is a followup to yesterdays post "Women Don't No Nothing". I choose women but I could have just as easily choose men.

I don't know if anyone has taken a lie detector test but I have. The administrator gives what they call baseline questions to set a tone of a person responses. One of the questions is .....have you ever cheated on your tax return? That question sets a tone because most, in some small way, cheat on their tax returns. And see, the questions can only be answered with a yes or no. Another is, do you lie? Well, that again rattles some because most people lie. They have excuses why they lie but they nevertheless lie. Here's another that always sets a tone ....will you lie to me today?

Now I've set the tone for the body of my post today. Although some of the questions will be answered with something other than a yes or no, I think my point is made. Lies will follow some questions and the questioner will see them.
Remember, if you don't want to know the truth ...don't ask!

1. Are you going to lie to me today?
2. Have you ever lied to me in the past?
3. What have you lied about?
4. Do we do things sexually that you do not like or that is not pleasing to you but you've been afraid to tell me?
5. Do you have doubts about my faithfulness to you?
6 Have you done things of a sexual manner with others that you've been afraid to ask me to do? What?
7. Is my hygiene always the way you'd like for it to be?
8 Have you ever thought about terminating the relationship?
9. Why do men have sex outside the home?
10. If I told you that I slept with another person, what would you say or do?
11. Have you slept with another person since we've been together
12, Did those last 2 questions make you uncomfortable ....why or why not.
13. Can a man have a relationship outside the home and still love his wife?
14. Why do you think I need you in my life?
15. If you could have sex with another person and it was alright with me or thought I would never find out, would you?
16. Do you still love me and why.
17. Do women think about having affairs as much as men.

Okay, these questions are not deep but I wonder how the average person would answer them, women or men. Would most lie or say the "right" thing? That's the big question. Who would answer the questions with vigorous honesty or women? Why? Gosh, I don't know if I'd ever agree to take a test like that. I wonder why ....ummmmm.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Women don't know nothing!

I am not going to do any social commentary today. I don't really know what that means anyway. I guess I am saying I don't worry much about what the world is doing...   I don't. News programs are not news, they are purveyors of pain. Even the weather segments seem to highlight the cloudy days ahead instead of the sunny day of the moment. Nope, I am going to fry a bigger fish today. This fish is in everyone's refrigerator. Some have in it the freezer and other are thawing it out as we speak. My focus today is on relationships. Ouuuuweeee, I know I am standing in someones kitchen drinking a glass of their kool-aid. But it's not going to be the normal kind of party.

Here's the lick, it goes without saying that I, nor anyone else has all the answers to what makes anothers tick ...female or male. If we all were the same and found a lover just like us, that would be a form of incest, and that's against the law...   isn't it? Soooooo, I am going to step out on a small limb and say women know very little about men. That's right, I said it. Women "think" they know men but for the most part, they ain't even close. But wait ain't to bright either. Their egos sit on their face like a big pair of X-ray glasses. They look right through what they don't want to see.

Check it out ...if you think I don't know what I am talking about's because I don't, but your friend or lover does. I hate those "truth or dare" games. the person that brings the game to the table usually has something on their mind and can't wait to tell it. It's kind of like a loaded question game thang. I like some games but not that one.

I should probably flash a few warning signs with this post. Not because I am going to say something inappropriate (which I might) but because this could be harmful to a relationship if a person is not ready for it. Okay, you've been warned but you can stop reading at any time.

If you really really really want to know what's in the heart and mind of your lover, you simply have to ask. But holdup...  if your relationship has been suffering from lies, deceit and doubt ....this little question and answer could do little but add grow-food to a shaky root. But then again, I think it still can serve a purpose. Okay, you've been warned so lets go.

This post is for opinionated, open minded individuals that don't mind sharing their thought without fear. That sounds like a Blogger to me so I am in good company.

I should be doing a book on this because there's so much to say. Lets see if I can do this in a condensed form. Coming through the door there has to be rules to this madness. 1. The questions can not be asked with a rebuttal in mind. 2. Honesty is the best policy ...if you don't want the real answer ...don't ask it. The other person will read your face and give you what they think you want to hear. 3. be ready for some surprising answers that may cause a little pain. 4. Don't reply, just go on to the next question. If the other person balks at the question or answers a question with a question, don't prod. simply tell them that they didn't answer the question and go directly to the next. This is very important, they might be searching for an answer and are trying to read you. Don't let them, move on! 5. Before the question and answer period starts, tell your significant other that you are trying to build on your relationship and that can only happen through honesty and courageous examination of the things that the both of you may be missing. Don't spring a trap on them. they will get defensive and question your motive. Remember, open and honest is the name of the game. 6. Don't get rattled, a few answers might give cause for concern. Put on your best game face. 7. Don't question them like a district attorney, keep a pleasant smile on your face as though every answer is a gift to you. Don't laugh but don't frown.

Btw, this deep examination will not work for naysayers, self proclaimed cynics, haters, Yeah butt-ers, me-me-me-ers and damn fools. So we are about to go. One more thang...   don't think you know the answer to these questions because ...well, you don't know THESE questions and I don't believe people know their S.O. as much as they think they do. That reminds me ...there is one more thang. .....DO YOU AGREE TO ACCEPT ALL THE TERMS and do not consider yourself one of the above individuals that just can't get it right? If so....................................................AGREE.

Look at the time, it's getting late ....holler ....or DISAGREE

Friday, April 3, 2009

Rap is not rap no more!

Amongst the muck and mire of corruption and politics, there are poor souls trying to find their way, everybody has to make a living. I am not going to hate on Rap music ...well, you'll see.

Let me get the haters and corrupt politicians out of the way. I am reminded of the Senate hearings in which one senator claimed rap music lead to demonic behavior and social decay, that's hatin, I am not there.
I can consciously say that my listening to rap music has not lead me to wanton behavior. That is not to say I didn't recognize a message that could prove to be a disservice to some. Without question, listening to different kinds of music is subjective. Therefore, since this is my blog, I do have a few concerns.

The Iowa Supreme Court just passed a gay marriage law. That's not going to propel me to go out and grab on another mans nuts. I know that's silly but I really do not care what others do or say ...I don't. For the most part, I wonder if what we hear has a real affect on us. Well, it could and it does. Let me explain, if I wanted to get a women in my fold would I rap to her or wouldn't I? Bingo! That's where I am at. Maybe I am old school but rappin ain't rap more.

I am not a chick but I can't help but believe some rap lyrics wouldn't lead a women to jump in my car and ride off to the hideaway hotel. Nor would it open the door to a long term relationship. A brotha used to practice his rap. If a brotha didn't have his wrap ...wrapped tight, he was out of the game. Some brothas couldn't rap but still got plenty of action. That was those dancing brothers. All they had to do was hit a few of those slick steps and all the women wanted to grab their hand. In fact, if you held a women in just the right way during a slow jam ....all you had to do was grind like fine coffee and breathe just the right way, you didn't have to say a word. But rappin was an art. I man couldn't just hit on a women with some tired mess like hey baby what's your sign or I got some jingle in my jangle. That slow drag would get you barred from the spot. What ever happened to real rap?

An old player told me that if I was going to play to win. He told me to never be simpin in the game. I respected the dude and thought long and hard about what he said. There were never rappin schools so I just looked at how the big boys did it ...the real pimps and players. Have you ever noticed how some women act at certain concerts we're talkin about something. Teddy used to have them throwing their panties on the stage. I don't think those women wanted him to take those moist garments to the cleaners.

Marvin Gaye said: "Ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough baby to keep me from gettin to you baby".

Rick James said, " WOW its really good to see you again baby ...and I must say you're looking very very very nice theses days. It appears life has been treating you very well. I think back to when we first met ...I think of how you changed me with your love and sensitivity"

Tina knew that boy was lying but she got rapped on ... Rick broke out with "Fire & Desire"!

Rap is not rap no more. I don't think those examples compare to - ......"Hey black Ho, come get this dough, you know, ride this pole. I also don't think they compares with ..."I just slapped a B**ch with an itch ....crack Ho you know ...had to let it go"

Luther said: "If this world was mine, I would place at your feet all that I own, you been so good to me, if this world were mine, I give you the flowers and the birds and the bees and with your love beside me it would be all that I need"

Old school Bill Withers said, "When I wake up in the morning love ....and the sunlight hurts my eyes ....and something without warning love ......bares heavy on my mind. Then I look at you and the worlds all right with me, just one look at you ....and I know it gonna be a lovely day ....just one look at you". THAT'S RAP!

I know sometimes script gets flipped ...bad does not always mean bad and things are not always black and white but if a person is going to rap they should get it right.

This is rappin .....the Whispers said, ........"feel much like romancing, how would you like to wine and dine, I'd like to take you dancing ...candle lights and dinner ...wouldn't that be nice. We'll dance to sweet music, how about some Marvin Gaye .... feel like some sexual healing, just relax and do things my way .....this is what I do to get you in the mood, baby I do it all for you"

The Whispers didn't stop there ........"Kiss me then kiss me again, come take full advantage of this human shell my heart is living in and love me baby, and to make life complete promise me baby that we'll practice making babies while the world is sound asleep I love you girl, don't tease me, make me you future, unlock me in your history ....and the fork in the road, which way will you go I'd like to know are you going my way"

Even James Brown said, "please please don't go, darling please don't go"

A man has to show a little humbleness sometimes. I don't know about drinking somebodies bath water (Babyface) but you know what I am talking about.

I swiped plenty of rap lines from the O Jays ...."Climbing the stairway to heaven, here we go, walking the road of Ecstasy ..... takin the load of this old world off our shoulders ... the door is right open for you ...the door is open for me, here we go ....still in a moment of pleasure, you and I, we're going to find a palace treasure, here we go, oh baby, climbing the stairway to heaven, ....and we're going step by step"

I am not a rapper but I've laid down a few rap lines. My intentions were good ....most of the time. But whats good? Rap ain't good when they ain't talking about nothing. Don't get me wrong ...I listen to rap and everything else that makes me feel good. But when I am thinking about my baby or someone I want to be my baby ....I am not going to put in Snoop Dogg or DMX. I have a date tonight so I am getting ready. I am going to put in a little Barry White ....that's right ....rappin music.