Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Winans - Question is


Take a few minutes and listen to this. Eddie Harris and Les McCann said it a long time ago. I remember those protest days, and the beat still rings true. Listen to the lyrics as you tap your feet to the magical song.

I grew up listening to Les McCann, Eddie Harris, Miles Davis, The Crusaders, Cannonball Adderley, Monk, West Montgomery, and many other jazz musicians. So today, I am going back and sharing my past with you.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Bend Over And Take It From A Man!

But, don’t take this ass whoopin’ personally. However, this post is going to piss-off a few folks. Well, particularly those individuals that are quick to give advice on topics in which their reference, or source of knowledge is woefully flawed.

In reference to maintaining a lasting relationship, what kind of a special kind of fool would I be if listened to someone that has never had a lasting relationship, and/or is not presently in a "good" relationship?

This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you, but listen. Although it’s been said – many times and many ways – some folks can’t stand the truth. But if you don’t trust me, or have more faith in the female race, lets put on our rabbit ears and listen to a few honest women.

Now, before we begin, check this, these women have no reason to lie. Granted, there are those that are constitutionally incapable of telling the truth, but today, these women don’t even know we’re listening.

Miss Tigrrrr: “Too be honest, I think many of the women who are married are women who knew from the get-go that marriage was one of the things they wanted most in life. And somebody (probably momma) gave them some good pointers on how to get and keep a man's attention”

See, right Miss Tigrrr, is talking a whole lot of facts! But let’s not stop there. She also said, “In my 20's I expected to be pursued and somehow the whole thing would magically happen. In my 30's I had fun being single. In my 40's, marriage was starting to look like a bad deal - all work, no play. Now in my 50's, I can only afford to marry somebody who is gonna make the rest of this journey easier (financially, emotionally, spiritually.)”

Now, I don’t think I have to explain her words, but I’ll get back to them. Let’s sneak up on another honest woman. There’s Cookie, let’s we see what she has to say. Cookie: “ I was in a very abusive marriage. I stayed with my husband far too long because I thought all men were like him. Until I met my new guy, I realized I’d never been around good men. My father was not in my life and my mother has been married 5 times. My sister’s husband has been in and out of jail, and all my uncles are dogs”

Boy oh boy, Cookie’s words spoke volumes. But listen, the next woman sends a message that most women would love to champion. But see, even though several women raised their pom poms, I think most men will hear a different tune.

Blu Jewel’s open letter It starts off like this: “First let me preface this by saying that I am in no way bitter, angry, or any negative emotion one can think of. In fact, I’m completely lucid, emotionally liberated, and happy; very happy. Furthermore, none of this is said to hurt, insult or offend, but merely to express some things that were not previously said.

My moment of sublime emotional clarity came when I realized that while I’m the gold at the end of the rainbow, you are simply not ready for receiving what 1) has always been yours and 2) that you’re afraid to be rich with all the emotional rewards that come with being with a woman like me”

Oh yeah! That was good, but I’ll bet a dollar to a dime, that after reading the whole letter, a man’s view will be completely different. Yes sir, a few good women stood up and cheered, but I am left to wonder if they knew exactly what they were cheering about? Hey, don’t ask yourself, ask a man. I mean, a woman may hear bells of freedom, but... for whom does the bell really toll?

What’s your point, Carey?

I am glad you asked, and I’m gonna give it my best shot! Tigress said, momma said. Cookie said, she didn’t know. Blu Jewel gave her point of view about "herself"!

If everyone agrees to handle the truth, I’ll move forward. Well, like it or not, I’m going there. I am of the opinion that if a person shows me who they are, I should believe them. Meaning, I am looking to see if they are walking the talk or just giving their opinion.

Within the previous heartfelt letters and testimonies, I heard something loud and clear. I heard... “Don’t follow the yellow brick road”... aka, the wrong ass.

Statistics say the abused will frequently become the abuser. I believe those words to be true. In fact, I know they are. Of all the women that are presently without a good man, I wonder how many of them came from a broken home? If I was a gambling man, I’d bet those numbers are huge. I also wonder how many women learned their womanly skills from their mother, who may not have been a good role model? Don’t get me wrong, or miss the point. Feeding and clothing a child is one thing, but showing them the proper way to voice their concerns is a different story. To stick and stay – with a man – may not be the best way. To tolerate abuse, may not be the best move. It’s my opinion that if a woman is absent of two very important elements in her life – a good father AND a good mother – chances are, she will struggle with the image of a good black man. More importantly, she might have a hard time interacting with one. Also, she may resort to asking the wrong questions to the wrong individuals.

It’s been said that if a doctor prescribes their own cure, he has a fool for a physician.

Ask not, want not! Women should ask men – about men -- not women. Don’t ask your neighbor (sistah gurl) ask a man! The truth is a tough titty to suck, but if it's not sucked, one might be be found saying... "Bitch Is The New Intelligent Black Woman", or something like that.

In short, watch who's ass you followig? The life you save, could be your own.

Think not? Don't be afraid to tell me why.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Don't Call It A Rant: BUT! Where have all the flowers gone? We're Killing Each Other

When the bright lights of our young children and the great minds of our elders, goes out so early, when so many gifted black people go too soon, we are left with a sorrow and wonder which speculation cannot assuage.

I came to that conclusion while listening to some of my African American friends who have a propensity to rag on Oprah, President Obama, and all the dark faces of our role models young and old.

Killing hopes and dreams by slandering those that have made it over the wall, softly killing them by voicing porous, ignorant and unsubstantiated opinions, draws my evilest stare.

Consequently, while stewing over my disdain for those that love to swim in negativity and gossip mongering, I was reminded of a song that I believe spoke for me..

The title is Where Have All The Flowers Gone. However, I am hearing, "When Will Some Negros Ever Learn?" So, listen along and see if you're feeling me and this song.

Where have all the flowers gone
A long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone
A long ago
Where have all the flowers gone
Girl, theyre picked up, every one
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn

Where have all the soldiers gone
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone
A long ago
Where have all the soldiers gone
Theyve gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn

When will they learn, ever learn
When will they learn
When will they learn, ever learn
When will they ever learn
When will they ever learn

If you dont know what were talkin about
When we say this
Theres too many starvin children
If ya dont know what were killing each other
And we just aint got time for ya brother
No no hey hey …

When will some negros ever LEARN?!

PEEK A BOO: Where are all the great women?

That's Peek-A-Boo to the right, she's a super hero. For real, her name is Lashawn Baez. After she transforms, she becomes Peek-a-Boo, a super hero with the power to vanish away. She's also a Medical School graduate student. Well, she's the brainchild of Geoff Johns and Scott Kolins of DC comics.

The name Peek-a-Boo seems to fit an array of women that stand behind great men. Some of whom find themselves in the unenviable position of supporting their husbands while standing in the quiet abyss of obscurity. Yet others are mentioned in the same breath as their championed husband. Many of them are forced to drop their titles and their last names and their own dreams, and acquire the name of "His Wife". What type of super human woman can withstand the torrential storms of standing behind her great man. Aside from the pressures of their jobs, the wake of some great men is filled with Harlots, Jezebels, Judases, Parasites, and a private life that washes away like footprints in the sand after a high tide. Yet, the good woman, the great woman, the strong woman holds on.

Why then, is the phase "behind every good man, there's a good woman" reserved for men? I mean, I seldom, if ever, hear that phrase used in reference to the man standing behind his great woman. In fact, the word "great" seldom precedes the name of women. There's Henry The Great and The Great Houdini. There's even The Great White Hope. Can you believe that - a great - white HOPE, and not a great black woman?

Is the phrase not reciprocal because this is a man's world? Heck, James Brown even wrote a song about it, titled, "This is a man's world". He was the hardest working man in show business and the greatest R & B singer of all time. Does the phrase "behind their man" mean in back of their man or lesser than her man? For many woman, the role of supporting her husband is a honorable position. Unfortunately, it appears men do not aspire to the status of the man behind the woman. The reversal of roles, if only in name, is a hard pill for most men to swallow - why?

Most will agree that there is a good woman behind most great men. Why is that? Is that because "to the victor goes the spoils? Women do outnumber men 7 to 1 in many cities. Maybe men can cheery-pick, you know, finding the "GOOD" woman, and leaving the rest behind. I 've frequently heard woman say there's a small pool of good men. Can it be that all the good woman have been taken by all the great men, and therefore few are left to become great women? That doesn't make sense, or does it? Well, just ponder that for a second while we move on.

President Barack Obama has a good woman behind him, and everyone knows her name. Nelson Mandela had a good woman supporting him, and everyone knows her name. Who doesn't know Coretta Scott King, and her famous husband. If I say Betty Shabazz, you'd probably say Malcolm X.

I could continue this game of "Peeking-at-his-Boo" until the night grew thin, but I am looking for a few great women. The list of great men, and what some might consider as their also-ran is endless. I am looking for the His & Her couple with the woman on top. Why do the names of great woman lack the reverberating names of the good man behind them? I have to admit, Oprah and Steadman is the only couple I could think of, and I doubt they even apply. Oprah is a powerful force, a good woman, but Steadman - how does he fit into the formula? My point: Are there great women, or is that position, or title, reserved for men? More so, where's the good "boo" behind the great woman, if there is such a thing. Maybe it's true that all the good men transformed all the great woman into "His Wife", the house wife, and his Peek-a-Boo, and thus, there's no good woman left behind, to one day, lead the way to greatness. Dang it, I am stumped, I can't figure this out.

Are there any great women up in here? Stand up if you dare, and holla like something aint fair. Or, sit back, like you just don't care. Be the boo that nobody knew.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Jim Brown to Richard Pryor: "What you gonna do?"

Jim Brown, Richard Pryor's friend, upon finding Richard struggling with the vicious demon of free base cocaine addiction, didn't scream at him nor preach to him, he simply asked what he was going to do now. I think at that point in Richard's life, it was do or die.

Those simple words "What you gonna do now" is my gateway to this post.

The view of life which is individualized within the core of a person, is inextricably rooted in the collective history of their life and those with a similar existence, with a special vantage point on life.  A vantage point that can make it difficult - in their eyes, unseemingly, and impossible - to take refuge in the comforting illusions or underlying assumption of society. But if life and personal history brings pain, it's also a source of strength, renewal and inspiration; a window on the potentials of the human spirit.

Having said that, I've come to believe the biggest insurgency to my domain - my unsettled mind - lived with me, it was me.  I allowed myaelf to build walls to reject the world, keeping it out, while inviting like minded individuals - just like me - inside my world of confusion.

Now, today I am going to speak on a subject that I seldom broach on this blog. I mean, I do, yet I've chosen to do it in subtle ways. If you look at the name of my blog CARRY ME HOME, some may recognize that as having a religious connection. Well, if you did, you're on the money.

See, when I first started blogging I didn't have a direction, purpose or goal in mind, but I knew I wanted to tell my story as a means of testifying - to the world- of the power of God's grace. However, being acutely aware of the evil eye and skepticism one may receive upon mentioning a God, I decided to just tell my personal stories of pain, shame and triumph, without preaching the words of God. It was my belief that if I did,  I might be preaching to the choir while turning off those that might need to hear my messages of triumph over pain and misery. More importantly, since I have not arrived, I did not want my blog persona, my propensity to use words and images (on this blog) that some would view as non-christian-like, and thus, use me as a vehicle to sling the arrows of "what about you and look at them" using me as the poster child for all that's wrong about religion, while turning away from the core of the message. And, there are wonderful christain blogs that do nothing but highlight the words of Gods, delivering his message much better than I could ever accomplish.

Nevertheless, having said all of that, one of my first posts was titled "What About A Time Called Now". It centered on how and when I made a conviction to turn my life around. It spoke of a time I was locked behind bars for a crime I committed. In short, I called my mother for help and she said, "Carey, I am done, I gave it to God".

Now, of course I didn't like that answer because I wanted a fast fix to my dilemma, and I surely didn't want to hear anything about God, unless he was prepared to post my bond and get me out of jail. But you know what, what about a time called now; here's where I am at today.

Had I not gone through my storms of life, I would not know God, nor how good he's been for and to me. There was a time, despite having made over 100,000 dollars a year, that I fell to a semi-homeless state.  I stood in a soup line with sadness on my face but gratfulness riding shotgun .  Had I not gone through, I would not know what God can do. He showed me that he was the encore. If I had to do it again (there's always a new storm a-brewin') I would because I can't be afraid, I have to trust him.

Some of my family and friends said I wouldn't make it, but God showed me that he saw the best in me and saved me for the best; the rest of my story. My song could not be sung had I not gone through my storms. I think many of us can sing "nobody knows the trouble I've seen/nobody knows my sorrow".  If we view a person solely from the perspective of what he or she  may have done(in the past), instead of the potential that God sees and has for them, we may miss the essence and the beauty of life.
What about a time called now? It's never too late.

Corinne Bailey Rae - Is This Love - The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

What is it about women from the UK? I don't know but they make my heart go pitter patter! Thandie Newton & Corinne Bailey Rae work me.

CareyCarey On Review: THE MASK COMES OFF!

Just click the link to see the fool behind this blog. I dare you!

I dare you to watch these (7) short 2 minute clips. All of them are me doing my thang. In the last one, I even play the piano... I think. *wink*

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Don't Ask Don't Tell, Best law Since The Emancipation Proclamation

Please don't ask because I am not planning on telling the truth. But maybe I should explain my words of wisdom.

Emancipation is a broad term used to describe various efforts to obtain equality, often for a specifically disenfranchised group , and Emancipation stems from "ex manus capere": 'take out of the hand".

Now, in my upside down world, I'm trying to figure out - before I make my move to soon - how the Emancipation Proclamation and the Don't Ask Don't Tell law and Take Out Of The Hand, applies to me. Well, I am black, so the abolition of slavery must have a direct effect on my life, right? Okay, so, since we're talking about a form of freedom - if you don't ask me any questions - I am free from telling you a lie, right? Which in essence takes it out of my hands, right? Heck, there it is, nice and easy to follow, right?

Well, understandable or not ( and it might seem like I am being factious) but stay with me because I have good news for everyone. But first, I so admire people that aren't afraid of the truth. For instance, the contestants of The Biggest Losers, there's no way in hell I am going to show all my fatness, saggyness, and loose flat titties, for the world to see. Are you kidding me, forget about it. I am not trying to be funny, but I am sure everyone has noticed that the super heavy dudes no longer have chests, they have flat, super saggy titties, and I am not ready to expose all my honesty.

But on the other hand, I also admire those who can tolerate a person that lies dead to their face. I mean, I can safely assume a criminal court judge hears lies on a daily basis. Well, I couldn't do their job because regardless of the law that says a man is innocent until proven guilty, if a man stood in front of me, with his wife's head hanging from his back pocket, and said to me that he had not seen her in a week, I seriously doubt I could ask the question, how do you plead, guilty or not guilty?

Come on now, as my daughter said, "Dad, don't make a liar lie". She believes that if you force a person to tell a lie, and know they are going to lie, you both are going to be sitting there looking stupid, which brings me to my final point. Listen, the Don't Ask Don't Tell law pertains to homosexuality in the military, so I think the name of the law should be changed to.... you guessed it, Don't Make a Liar Lie, which then, would encompass every liar in the world, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Just think how convenient that would be. We've all heard of the 5th amendment that protects a person from self incrimination, well, with this new law (lets call it 5th-DMALL... "don't-make-a-liar lie) if a wife or lover asks a brotha if a certain dress makes her look old and fat, and she is old and obesely fat, he can simple say, "Please baby, DMALL". Then they could gleefully hold hands and trot off to the movie with her fat ass busting outta that size 14 dress.

And see, the real beauty of this new law is that a person can use it on themselves. I really like this part because I can ask myself if I am going to exercise or lose a few pound, and then say, "Please Carey, you know how this goes, DMALL baby".

Yelp, don't ask no questions and Don't-Make-A-Liar, Lie. I am off to talk to my congressman.